Freaking Out the Gods
by Annie-marie6
Summary: The Gods recive some books from the Fates and read them. This was not what they were expecting. Rating my go up
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from any recognisable parts of this story. Percy Jackson isn't mine!

Poseidon's P.O.V

Today Zeus had called the Gods to Mount Olympus because of a message from the Fates. I couldn't really admit to caring but I'll admit I was a might bit curious.

"Today I have called you here as asked by the Fates, to read the books that have been sent to us to help us in the future. The first one is called Percy Jackson and the Lightning thief," Zeus commanded.

It took everything in me not to gasp out loud; there were books about my son. A son that nobody was aware that I had. Looking up I realised that I had missed what ever Zeus was saying, but he'd handed the book over to Athena to read.

Chapter 1

**Did you know that hero's never allowed to give up, a hero always win. There cool and can beat anything and can save everyone. They put everyone over themselves and care about the people who are screwing them over. **

"Do they really feel like they have to be like that?" Aphrodite of all people asked. Nobody answered her.

**My name is Percy Jackson and I'm supposed to be a hero. Oh, and yeah I'm _that _Percy Jackson. The one the Muses wrote the books about, but do you know that mostly there wrong. Well mostly, I'm going to tell you how it really happened. **

"Wait a minute why would the Muses change the story?" Athena asked, "What happen that we didn't want everybody else to know?"

"I don't know but the Fates are determined that we know the whole story" Hera commented. I just wanted them to shut up and hear about my son.

**Now where did it start? I guess I'll borrow a few lines from the lightning thief. **

'**_I was alone. There was a ballpoint pen in my hand. Mr Brunner wasn't there. Nobody was there but me.' _Except I knew exactly what had happen, minus the Greek Gods part and despite being twelve I needed a drink. I booked it out of there and got in a cab taking the cool pen type sword with me.**

"He stole a sword, I like this kid already" Hermes commented, "I wonder who's kid he is?'

"**Percy, where you going?" Grover yelled running after me, but I just got in the cab faster, where I was going was no place for Grover. **

"Grover, isn't that the Satyr responsible for…" Zeus started. Thalia everyone thought, what was he doing near my son? And where was Percy going.

"**Step on it please" I said to the driver throwing a twenty over the seat. The driver stopped four blocks away from my Moms apartment, where there was a door with a slot for a key card. Stepping out I type in the code and swipe my card. The door opens and I step through from New York to New Orleans. Specifically to the Sunset Tavern a famous Lore bar you can access from every city on Earth. **

"Um, does anyone else not know where this place is?" Apollo questioned.

"Um, I don't even know where this place is and I'm the God of Travels" Hermes said uneasily.

"**Hey Percy, did you give up on boarding school already? You almost made the year this time" Regan the Radiant, Valkyrie and the worlds most immature immortal commented lightly glowing down at the back table.**

"Ok, I really want to know whose kid this is, it's starting to creep me out" Hades of all people commented.

"**That was until a Fury pretended to be my pre-algebra teacher then attempt to slice and dice me, not cool" I said taking a seat next to her and swiping her vodka and orange juice.**

"**Dude, your twelve, alcohol you should be drinking not!" she shrieked, not for the first time. I laughed and pulled a deck of card. "People, Percy bought cards" she called. The back table was suddenly full with a variety of Demons, Witches, Valkyries, and Vampires. **

"Maybe it's my kid?" Mr D said, "Drinking and gambling, sounds like me" Internally I was thinking what the hell, but then I suppose that I could hardly expect him to act like me. He hadn't see me since he was a baby.

**Three hours of Bullshit (The card game) and 4 grand later I asked Lyra if she could fix the sword, apparently it only works on _monsters, _note the sarcasm. She spelled it for me to be able to work on anyone that means me or anyone I care about harm. There were now gold-filled engravings in concentric circles on the blade. The lost language of the Time Lords, I had a tattoo on the back of my neck. It was apparently my future.**

"Ok, gambling, drinking, tattoo, did I mention that I'm really, really starting to like this kid" Hermes said.

"Does anybody have a child called Lyra? Is she at camp?" I asked.

"No she's not at camp," Hera said taking a deep breath. "Because if she was I would have claimed her, and Zeus, that horrible feeling your having now, is exactly the feeling I have whenever you've knocked some bitch up"

"Really?" he asked in a small voice. Something I didn't know my brother was capable of.

"Yes" Hera said resolutely staring him in the eyes and then the world imploded because Zeus said…

"I'm sorry" and looked elsewhere motioning for Athena to continue reading.

"**It' beautiful" I said looking at the blade. "What does it say?" Lyra just shakes her head and puts her finger to her lips. I let it go because I trust her. Apparently we were family, and with all the time I'd spent with her I believed it. Or at least I really wanted to.**

"She is family," Hera breathed sadly. "Zeus I want to meet my daughter and if I don't get to your sleeping on the couch"

"But, but, but… fine" he huffed, conceding defeat. It's almost embarrassing.

"**Do you want some training?" she offered. I thought about it for a while, before nodding. After all if thing were going to attack me, I mean more than usually it would be a smart idea, especially if I was going practice with the best. "Come on vacation again then?" she asked.**

"Again?" Ares asked, puzzled. It was amazing that he'd stayed quiet for this long.

"**Anywhere and everywhere, all that's every happened and ever will, every star that's ever shone and back before anyone noticed I'm gone?" I quoted her questionably, "Again?"**

"There kidding right?" Hades said unsurely, "That's got to be a joke right?"

"**Of course" she said, "Do you know why I like it when people come with me, or the Doctor?" I shook my head. " I don't see it, we don't see it. When all of time and space is your backyard, it's just stuff, we know how it started we know how it ends and were probably there both times" she sighed, looking slightly miserable before her whole facial expression lit up. "But you, you see it and when you see it, so do I"**

"The Doctor? Who the hell is that? And all of time and space… Hera your daughter's starting to scare me?" Apollo said shivering lightly.

"Do you think she'll become a hunter?" Artemis asked. Everybody groaned.

"**Alright, stop trying to guilt me into it, but only on one condition. You drop me back off at the museum two minutes after I got in the cab to get here" I said, knowing that she was capable of it.**

"Forget Apollo, she's starting to scare me now" I said, I'm not entirely sure that I want my son hanging around her.

"**Deal" she said shaking my hand, but instead of letting go she jumps up and pulls me outside heading to a blue police public call box, unlocking it we step inside. It's bigger on the inside, but I wasn't surprised I'd travelled in the TARDIS before. There was a wheezing sound and the box disappeared to anywhere in time and space. **

"What… The… Fuck?" Zeus said sitting in his throne, mouth slightly agape. A situation shared by almost all of us.

_**An indefinable amount of time later….**_

"Indefinable?" Aphrodite groaned, "You know what I don't even want to know"

"**All right as far as anyone is concerned you've been here till the end of term and they aren't inviting you back next year, enjoy your trip" Lyra said squeezing me into a hug. She couldn't even use her magic to keep me in school. I must be talented. **

"Neh, it's the ADHD, the kid shouldn't worry about" Ares "It usually ends in a good fight"

"**Alright, you enjoy yourself and take care of the Doctor" I said hugging her back; she turned around and walked through the gates disappearing. **

"Okay, somebody else's turn" Athena said throwing the book towards Demeter, who'd been astoundingly silent.

"You know there vaguely happy, maybe the eat cereal?" She said picking up the book and ignoring the groans at the mention of cereal. "**Chapter two**…" She read

First chapter done, review all. Please? 


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable, no matter how much I wish I did. Frown-y face.**

Zeus P.O.V

I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to read more about this kid, he knew my wife's daughter, my wife actually cheated on me. I never say it out loud but it really hurt. What did this kid do to endear the Fates to him so much?

**True to her words, nobody even realised I was gone, I suppose after running around all of space and time with her, twice I should have had more faith in her. I reckon with my luck some doubt is to be expected.**

"On a scale of one to ten, how bad do you reckon this kid luck is?" Poseidon asks artlessly.

"Probably over ten" Athena comments. I had to agree with her.

"**Hey Percy, it's time to go" Grover yelled, I don't know what he remembered for the last few weeks, at least I think it was weeks, it was years for me. So I opted for acting normal.**

"Always good" Hermes agreed with the book. He is such a kleptomaniac, he's thousands of years old he should be over it by now I grumbled internally.

"**Coming Grover" I yelled grabbing my pre-packed things. It turned out that Grover really was taking the same greyhound bus as me. He seemed to be freaking out epically, looking around trying to spot something, and then it hit me. Grover was looking for '_monsters' _see the sarcasm. "Looking for Furies?" I asked as he looked out the windows.**

"Oh, busted" Ares called, "Wonder how he's gonna get out of that?"

"Not very well I'm guessing" Hades said, "He doesn't sound like that good of a liar"

"**What, no what's a Fury" he asked in a rush, his words all running together and then boom. The bus filled with this disgusting smoke, which would have smelt so much grosser before last week's little adventure with the slime aliens on Alpha 45. **

"Ok, rewind… where?" Apollo asked, "Slime _Aliens _where?"

"No idea" Hermes said, "I don't like not knowing places" I was really starting to hope this kid was insane, because aliens, really?

**Across the street were three old ladies knitting a pair of gigantic electric blue socks. I knew after only seconds of looking at them that the bleached cotton dresses and the withered leathery skin was only what they wanted people to see. Curious I crossed the street.**

"No" the entire room yelled. Oh Gods the kid suicidal.

"Why is the kid going to visit the fates?" Mr D. asked astonished, in fact I was astonished that he sounded like he cared. He usually hated campers, maybe he was finally reforming it was about time.

"**Percy" Grover hissed grabbing my arm, "What do you think your doing?" I ignored him and crossed the street. Walking directly towards the little old ladies. **

"Why isn't the satyr stopping him" Hades demanded, what was it about this kid that had us all so concerned? I didn't even want him to die that almost scared me. Stupid brat.

"**I can't see what you are," I said, looking at the directly. They all looked up and smiled at me serenely. **

"Oh you've got to be kidding me" Artemis whispered, then said louder, "Whose kid is this?"

"**What makes you think we don't look like this?" the middle one questioned. I knew I should of felt uneasy, maybe even frightened but I didn't. I took the empty seat that I was sure wasn't there before.**

"This kid has no self preservation" Demeter said shaking his head, "Maybe if he makes it to camp my kids will give him cereal"

"If he makes it to camp?" Poseidon asked, "He better get to camp." That was an odd comment to make.

"Why do you care brother?" I asked genuinely curious. He just threw me a look.

"Don't you?" he responded, "No matter whose kid he is, he's family." He had a fair point.

"**I just know, and when I try and see what you really are I just see shadows," I told them. They giggled.**

"Oh fuck" Apollo said, "He can really, actually, properly see them." I was going to guess that he shouldn't have been able to.

"Bit not good?" Aphrodite asked painting her nails, actually interested.

"No, that's really good. Provided he doesn't try to see us and see our divine forms and you know, die." He answered.

"Oh so a bit not good then" Ares said. Apollo just nodded and Demeter continued reading.

"**Dear child, you don't know what we are do you? Else wise you would sit with us, but amuse us seeing as how we don't know for once. How did you try to see us as shadows?" the one down the other end said cheerfully.**

"Good question" Hermes said quietly. Out of habit and knowing what happens when Hermes is that serious I checked my wallet, finding it missing I held my hand out and he tossed it back.

"**I looked, I looked where I didn't want to look, where I never want to look. Right out the corner of my eye, a friend taught me that trick. It lets you see what's there, but I only saw shadows and that mean that you don't exits" I explained, well at least as best as I can. **

"Ok, glad that cleared that up, it would have been confusing, you know if none of that made sense" Athena said sarcastically. Poseidon snorted.

"That made perfect sense your just not keeping up," He said. I rolled my eyes at there bickering; they both need to grow up.

"**But if we don't exist, how can you see us now? Hmm dearie, how can we be if we aren't real?" the said, falling back into what I assumed was an old habit of finishing each other's sentences. The middle one was fingering a thread, a pair of huge shear like scissors in her hand. I laughed.**

"No, not good" I found myself saying, "Dumb kid, just fucking run"

"**You misunderstand me. I never said you aren't real. Just that you don't exist, well you do exist. The best way I can put it you're everywhere and nowhere all at once," I thought out loud. **

"I'd never thought of it like that" Hades said, "And he's right, anyone want to bet on if he figures it out?" About half betted yes and half betted no, I went with yes, the kid was surprisingly insightful.

"**I don't think that's fair. We don't want to cut the string now" the middle one said as she laid down the scissors. "We like you"**

"But they always cut the string" Hera said shocked, "No matter what, they do there job. That's just the way it is" everybody was on the edge of there thrones.

"Sometimes there's an exception, even though there's never been before" Hades told us. I was hoping there'd be an exception today; I wonder what would happen if we ever met this kid, for some reason I wanted to.

"**And if you cut the string something bad happens" I concluded, "You stopped bus. What happens if you cut the thread?" I wondered.**

"You die" I sighed, even Ares looked upset by this prospect, but if the Fates sent us the book maybe they wanted us to change it.

"**You die," they answered as one. They were everywhere and nowhere, held power over who was meant to die and who wasn't, they weaved together and cut threads. I smiled.**

"Crazy kid" Mr D. muttered. Hades smiled.

"No, smart kid, dying isn't something to be afraid of" he said, "It's just something that happens"

"**Everybody dies, and I'm beginning to think it just might be _Fated_" I leaned forward and whispered the last part. They all grinned, almost happy to be found out.**

"Pay up" someone yelled, for five minutes the book was forgotten as people passed up money and it was divided.

"**It is fated, and so we must carry it out. That does not mean that we want to" the one on the right looked up dismayed, "Will you run now?" she asked tearfully. I shook my head, eyeing the middle one whom was still holding the sting between her fingers ready to be cut. **

"He must be so scared" Hestia said tending to the hearth, "Do you think he'll run?"

"No" this surprisingly came from Ares. "I have a feeling this kids seen war. Enough to know that there are some thing's you just can't stop"

"That sounded almost wise, Ares" Athena taunted.

"I don't think so, just a feeling" he responded ignoring the opportunity for a fight, which told me that he cared what happen to this kid to.

"**No, I'm going to help you" I said picking up the scissors and slicing the string. "Just this once it's not your fault," I told them. The bus spluttered and roared to life, I turned to walk away. "Goodbye"**

"That was kind" Poseidon said, looking exceedingly pale.

"It was" Athena agreed. The was total silence for thirty seconds before everyone turned to them and said,

"You two agreed, do you think we'll finish the book before the apocalypse"

"**Wait" they called. I turned and the three old ladies weren't there. There was and old lady a mother and a child. The child threw herself at me and hugged me. "Thank you for making it not my fault" I squeezed back. "Here" the eldest handed me a peach from the fruit stand near by. "Enjoy that on the bus, for our inconvenience"**

"D you think that it does anything?" I asked thoughtfully.

"No, it just tastes good" Apollo said, I think we were all completely numb from what happened with the Fates to care that he'd seen something again.

"**Thank you" I waved and ran back to the bus. Grover was waiting for me and he was shaking. **

"Of course he was shaking" Aphrodite said irritated, "We're shaking." With a small amount of shock I realized that I was.

"**What were you thinking? Do you have any idea who those old ladies were?" he demanded, panicking. "Did they cut the cord?" he muttered to himself and then louder, "You just disappeared into the fog. I couldn't find you even though you were right across the street"**

"It must have been scary for him" Artemis commented, "Not knowing what was happening" I agreed with that sentiment.

"**I'm sorry G-man, didn't mean to make you worry. They didn't cut the cord," I told him. He looked so relieved that I almost didn't say the last bit. "I did"**

"No, don't tell him that" Demeter said, "You'll break his heart"

**If I had any doubts about whether or not Grover knew more than he was letting on they vanished after I'd said that. He demanded that he took me home. I pretended to agree, but ditched him at first opportunity. The Fates were genuinely sad about my dying, so I don't think it was going to be a non-violent death and that meant Grover was going to be in danger. So I split, got in a taxi and went straight home. **

"Stupid kid, he gonna get himself killed, running away from the only person who can lead him to camp, not very wise" Athena sniffed. She sounded condescending, but I knew it was just her way of trying to care less. To bad Poseidon didn't.

"Athena, shut up. Nobody cares" he said, he seemed to be more on edge than anybody else.

**Before I get to that bit I want to tell you about my Mom, Sally Jackson she is without a reservation the best person in the whole wide world. She had to deal with me, and as I know I'm one of the more difficult to deal with kids. **

"What a wonderful Mother, it great that he loves her that much, it sounds like she deserves it" Hera commented, I agreed. She sounded lovely, so whom did she have a kid with?

**She always smells like candy from her job at the sweet America store, when I come home she brings home a big bag of blue candy. When my step dad Gabe, smelly Gabe actually but I'll get to that later, said there was no such thing as blue food my Mom went out of her way to eat it. She's rebellious like that.**

"Way to go, whoever's girlfriend/ex this is" Apollo cheered, "Loving the rebellion"

**Smelly Gabe was great, till Mom said I do. Then he showed his true colours as a first-class asshole. He treated my Mom like crap, hosted stupid poker parties, which he always lost, drank and smelt. Find the smelliest garbage disposal and have someone live there for a month and they would smell better. I don't know why she stayed.**

"She wouldn't, would she" Athena muttered, but I was curious.

"Wouldn't what?" I asked her.

"The smell, if he smells as bad as she says then it would keep away the monsters. Do you think that she stay to protect Percy?" she explained. The rest of the Gods were floored at this woman's dedication.

**This summer we were going to our annual beach trip. Three nights same cabin as always, Mom said she met my Dad there. She'd get a little sad, apparently he was there for six months but then he had to go somewhere important, something to do with his job. Got on a boat and disappeared. Not dead, lost at sea. I didn't believe it but I refrained from mentioning it to her.**

"It's sweet that he care enough to let her believe what she wanted about his Dad" Aphrodite said. But I wasn't focused on that, lost at sea. Poseidon, Percy was Poseidon's son. I decided not to mention it until I had proof.

"**So, how was school?" she asked excited to hear about me as always. I told her about all the normal stuff, neglecting to mention my vacation, the fury or the Fates. It had been a lot longer for me than it had been for her in terms of time spent apart, so I was quiet content to lay in the cabins double bed curled up with her. She was trying to convince me to go to some sort of summer camp. The weather was getting really bad, when all of a sudden a round of urgent knocking started up at the door. **

"You think that Grover finally caught up," Mr D said. Most people agreed I hoped it was.

"**Percy" they called from outside. My Mom opens the door and outside stood Grover. "We need to go, now" he said grabbing my arm. "It's time" he looked right at my Mom as he said this, and I began to just how much she wasn't telling me either, because she grabbed my hand and dragged me to the car.**

"So she knows, how much do you think?" I asked aiming it at Poseidon.

"Maybe she's clear-sighted," he said shrugging, to bad I knew my brother well enough to know that this was killing him on the inside. I shared a look at Hades and we mentally resolved to talk to him after the chapter.

"**Percy, what haven't you told me" she said turning on the car and speeding towards the highway. I my head was scrambled as I tried to come up with what to tell her.**

"I know I'm supposed to tell him to lie, but he really needs to tell them what he knows," Hermes said pouting.

"Hermes, you're talking to a book," Artemis reminded him. He just shrugged.

"**Probably as much as you haven't told me," I said, watching the rain pound outside. There looked like there was going to be a hurricane as far as I could tell through the frequent lightning flashes. "Where are we going?"**

"You to are fighting again?" Hades whined, "Jeez, you guys kill people when you fight do you have any idea what that does for traffic in the underworld?"

"Yeah, we get it" Poseidon and I chorused.

"**To the camp your Dad wanted to send you" she said, "You'll be safe there" she sounded so certain. But I had a bad feeling that I'd end up doing more dangerous things there than would anywhere else.**

"Is it sad that he's right, and we still send our kids there?" Ares said.

"But the monsters can't get in?" Aphrodite said.

"No, because then we send them out on quests, then we make life harder for them because we either don't acknowledge them or ask to do things that get them killed" Mr D. said. The part I hated was that he was absolutely right.

"**I don't want to go, I can think of a bunch of places that I would be safer than some random camp that someone from twelve years ago thought would be a good idea" I said, trying to use logic, but I knew I had no choice.**

"He's right, arguing would cost them precious time they need to get out of the way" Athena said, we mostly ignored her.

"**Percy, you have no idea how powerful the people chasing you are, this camp is neutral ground" Grover said sounding urgent. "Please, please just… just go. Without a fuss"**

"I wonder if he'll let it go that easy?' Hestia asked grinning, "Probably not if he takes after whomever his Dad is"

"**Fine, but just let the record show that I was against this," I said. BANG! Something crashed into the car; it rolled and landed on the roof. Disorientated I looked around; Mom and Grover were both moderately ok.**

"Moderately, I suppose that alright then" I said trying to keep the attention of Poseidon, whom was having trouble breathing right.

"**You need to get out," My Mom said looking out the window in terror. Out the window there was a huge half-bull half-man thing. Oh hell, half-bull, half-man that's a… but I was distracted.**

"What could possible distract him at a time like this?" Hera demanded.

"**Grover, why are you taking you pants off?" I questioned, more than a little freaked out, but Grover wasn't naked under his pants he was… "Oh Goddess, you half goat"**

"Oh" she said, "Fair enough" Everybody was trying not to laugh. "Wait, oh Goddess, I'm really starting to like this kid"

"**Percy now is really not the time," he said, kicking out the back window. Taking my Moms hand I drag her out the car, trying desperately to remember what Mr Brunner taught us about this… thing.**

"Smart kid, not even thinking the name" somebody commented. I didn't really think he knew that.

"**We need to move" my Mom said, just past this tree is the property line. "It can't see very well and it can't change direction once it's charging. Use that to your advantage" I hope we could outrun it but was to close. It grabbed my Mom, "Run boys, it can cross the…." It squeezed her and she disappeared into golden dust, Grover was thrown against the pine tree. And then I did something dangerous, and then I got mad. **

"This kid is twelve, statistically, how bad can it be?" Hades asked rhetorically.

**I walked almost calmly to stand in front of the tree as the bull charged. I intended duck to the side at the last moment but it didn't work like that. I jumped up and flipped on to its back. Crack! It hit the tree with enough force to wrench my shoulder out of its socket. But it did the job, it's horn snapped off in the tree I jumped down as it stumbled around. Water rose up from the ground and poured into its nose and mouth with force.**

"I'm guessing very bad Hades, Poseidon, you kids got skills," I said, examining my fingernails.

"Am I the only one who didn't break the oath?" Hades asked in shock, "Damn"

"Um, aren't you going to fight?" Ares asked tentatively, anticipating a good family brawl.

"Later" I decreed, "Now I want to know if the boy lives, before we make a fuss about him." Poseidon sent me a thankful look.

**Horn, get the horn I told my self, I walked over to the tree yanked out the horn and rammed it through its side. It burst into soggy dust. Walking over to Grover I tried to drag him up over the hill but my vision was going in and out.**

"So he calmly tricks the bull into getting its horn broke off, repeatedly drowns it as a distraction and stabs it with it's own horn all without training that we're aware of?" somebody comments.

"Yep pretty much" Poseidon said shakily, "But when you put it like that it's just kind of…"

"Awesome" Artemis said, "Shame his not a girl"

"**Were gonna be fine Grover" I said, "They can't have you to" just over the line my legs gave out.**

"Poor child" Hera said sympathetically.

"**Do you think he's the one?" was the last thing I herd before blacking out.**

"Alright, I don't know about everyone else but I think we should break for lunch or something cause I don't know how much more I can take" Hades said. Everybody agreed whole-heartedly. I motioned for Hades and Poseidon to follow me. What I was planning to say I don't know.

**And there you go people another chapter out 3583 words. Review for me I need comment, thanks for reading. **


	3. Chapter 3

I got my first reviews today so a big thanks to Anime Princess for the encouragement and to ewen lee, who was honest despite hating it. All reviews and flames are welcome.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from any recognisable parts of this story. Percy Jackson isn't mine!

Hade's P.O.V

I didn't want to admit it but this kid scared me a little, he killed my best Fury and made friends with the fates. Maybe I was more than a little scared, but right now Poseidon came first. I followed him and Zeus into Zeus's room. Poseidon sat down on the bed and looked utterly lost.

"Are you okay?" I asked sitting down next to him, he laid his head down on my lap and shook his head.

"I don't like hearing these things. I don't like hearing about what me not being there has done to my son," he whispered. Zeus sat on the other side of him and started carding his hands through his hair.

"I know Darling" Zeus said uttering a pet name that he hadn't used in centuries, not since shortly after we arrived in England. "We'll make sure it's ok, we'll take care of you, Shh." He just lay there unseeingly and I hated it.

Poseidon was always like the sea, he is wildly untameable and a force of his own. He felt so much more than most feeling every emotion to the extreme, weather it was happiness and joy, or sadness and pain. It was sort of like a divine bi-polar, and sometime it tore him apart and not matter how much we fight or how much people think or say we hate each other he'll always come to us and the thing that almost killed me is watching the effort he put in to make sure nobody noticed.

"Don't worry brother, we'll take care of you," I crooned, kissing his temple. He forced a smile and it tore at my heart.

"I know you will, both of you. You always do," he said in a harsh whisper. We stayed like that until it was time to read again. Dionysus picked up the book and started to read.

**I woke up an hour later and from the way they jumped I gathered that they weren't expecting it. The blonde princess type girl looked particularly annoyed. Which irritated me, Grover looked relieved that I was ok. **

"He should have been out for a few days at least" Poseidon said surprised. I wasn't sure but I figured he'd know, shared waterpowers and all. I eyed him carefully, he looked fine but he's quite capable of hiding his emotions.

"**I told you so" I told him, he just looked down like he expected me to steal blondies knife, if he realised that she had one. "I'm not planning on slicing and dicing you"**

"How did he even know that she had a knife?" Athena questioned she annoyed me. She had an arrogant streak a mile wide. As if she's the only smart person around.

"**Why not, I said it would be safe here" he said, "And your Moms dead" he stared at the poor guy. **

"Poor guy?" Zeus muttered irritated, "His Mom just died and he feels sorry for the fucking goat." As mean as that was he had a point.

"**Where exactly did you gain the absolute power to change a fixed point?" I rattled off almost unaware of what I was saying. They looked confused, inwardly I cringed, wrong people to start talking temporal manipulation, exceedingly basic and vague claim or not. **

"Whoa, whoa, whoa…. Temporal manipulation… fixed points? What the fuck?" Ares said confused and then he froze and shivered.

"What?" I asked looking at him. He just shook his head.

"You really don't want to know, I have a…. hunch, I just hope I'm wrong" he responded. Nobody bothered to try and get it out of him they knew he wouldn't tell us.

"**What's a fixed point?" Grover asked confused. I thought fast to bring up a plausible excuse. **

"I have no idea" Athena said practically tortured, I stifled a laugh, Poseidon, however did no such thing. "Shut up dickhead." Zeus nearly belted her; I think I was the only one who noticed though.

"**Nothing, an old friend of mine is a sci-fi lover, she explained if to me. It's complicated, anyway you can't have possibly known it was going to happen," I said. He still looked like someone's kicked puppy so I changed the subject. "So are you going to explain about this place?"**

"Somehow I don't think that that's right" Aphrodite said, "Nice avoidance technique though." I ignored her curious of what they'd tell him.

"**This is camp-half blood," the blonde said, as if that explained everything. Oh joy condescending people. Hmm, what's the best way to go here? Polite or smart-ass should I pull a Mycroft or Sherlock? I need a back up plan or an out unless things get ugly. I decide to go in Sherlock fashion. **

"Who the hell, Poseidon your son is so confusing" Apollo said, "Why would he need an out?"

"Because a scary monster killed his Mom, he woke up in a place his never been before and is surrounded by people he doesn't know" Artemis said sarcastically, "Why do you think idiot?"

"**Thank you for that, it explains everything" I said sarcastically examining her as I did so. Beaded necklace, seven beads and collage ring in a string round her neck, nervous twitch in her right hand. So right handed and nervous, toast crumbs in jacket lining so ate toast for breakfast, spread under index finger, strawberry jam. **

"Oh that is so cool" Hermes said practically bouncing in his seat, "Do you have any idea how many people he could steal from with skills like this?"

"I don't want my son becoming a thief, Hermes" Poseidon said. I laughed.

"I don't think he meant it like that, brother" I said trying to stop him from drowning Hermes, Gods help us if he gets idea from his son.

**Calculating look like she's trying to figure out how to take me down in a fight, possible enemy? High chance, lack of make up suggests practical and uncaring of what people think but not likely. No probably been here long enough nobody expect her to change. One weapon indicates either she can't use others or more likely is proficient enough that she doesn't need another. Boring.**

"Wait, he knows all that and declares it boring" Athena demands shrilly, "Does he have an idea how good an advantage with strategizing that could give him?" I mentally face-palmed.

"I think he meant the girl Athena" Hera sighs impenitently.

"**Why don't you go back to you strawberry jam toast?" I question. "Seeing as your obviously so helpful. She took of in a surprised huff. Grover just sighed.**

"Well that would have shocked her" Aphrodite commented.

"Nah, she passed it off as a good guess" Apollo said easily.

"**Next time you see the friend that taught you to pick people apart like that tell him thanks a lot. He created a monster" Grover said, funnily enough he knew the signs I'd done it enough around him.**

"It sounds like they're really good friends even though he pissed off on him" Ares said.

"Ares" Hera yelled, "Language." Oh joy mother time I thought to myself, at least it's not Demeter.

"**No I'm not the monster, disconnect the filter between mouth and brain and have everything I thought said out loud and take away all concept of the word shouldn't and you have my friend Sherlock. He's a sociopath," I told him.**

"You're son makes friends with the weirdest people Poseidon" Zeus said mildly surprised.

"**Please, please tell me your joking" Grover said. I shook my head and he groaned, "I'm never meeting him, anyway I need to take you to the big house now that you're awake" I nodded and followed him. Now we were getting somewhere. **

"I want to know what his reaction to finding out he's part God is," Aphrodite said happily. I wish that some people understood that you needed to shut up if were ever going to finish the story.

**The big house is a beautiful ranch styled house, behind the mismatch of cabins, there were twelve and they were obviously decorated to the occupant's personal preference. **

"Mine's better" nearly everybody yelled. I huffed moodily.

"Oh, grow up" I demanded still sore that I didn't have one.

"**Ah, Percy you awoke earlier than expected" Mr Brunner said surprised, "That's good"**

**He looked somewhat uneasy, but I suppose that if I were him I would be uneasy to, a normal person would have been out until tomorrow earliest. **

"My son's just that good" Poseidon says smugly, he started to tap a rhythm on his left knee, Morse code, help. Zeus and I glanced at each other panicked.

"**I get the feeling that your name isn't Mr Brunner," I said looking behind him to study the man behind him. Outwardly he looked like a middle-aged man who'd lived in a trailer park all his life. Recovering alcoholic, highly likely. I had a distinct feeling that it wasn't what he really looked like. Turning so he was to the side of me I discretely looked out of the corner of my eye. It wasn't difficult to see past the warm golden light, he was really a hazel-eyed brunette with a light tan like he'd been working outside a lot. He actually looked about nineteen years old. Oh well wasn't any of my business. **

"But… But he should be dust" Apollo said loudly, jumping us all out of our shocked reverie. Ares flinched again; I didn't want to know what made the War God flinch like that.

"**No, my name is Chiron, I'm sorry for lying to you" he responded with a half smile. I just shrugged nonchalantly, everybody lies, Goddess help us in a world were everybody tells the truth all the time. **

"That wrong" Demeter said crossing her arms, "Children should tell the truth" I groaned, I don't recommend having a mother-in-law/sister it's a bad, bad idea. At least when Zeus married our sister Hera he didn't get in-laws. Lucky bastard!

"**Chiron, who cares?" the man said, "Lets play pinochle, we have four now." He made his way inside, slightly apprehensively I followed, because the ability to change his appearance may or may not be a party trick.**

"Good, he has common sense, maybe he'll be better than the rest of the brats" Mr D. muttered before continuing reading.

"**What is pinochle?" I questioned him; he looked at me like I'd just called his Mom a slut. **

"WHAT?" shrieked Hera, the only thing I can say was at least I wasn't the only one to fall off my throne laughing.

"**It is along with gladiator fighting and packman on of the greatest things humanity has ever created," he decreed.**

"Really?" Ares questioned, "I'm with you on the first one but… packman?" Mr D. just glared.

"**I'll give you a game of bullshit" I responded, "I could probably beat you at that" The man looked at me and laughed, he obviously thought I was joking smiling I follow him as he deals out the cards.**

"As if a mortal could beat a God at anything" Athena said snottily. I cringed as I saw Poseidon's fingernails scrape against his throne.

"**Do you have any idea who I am child?" he said causing a glass of wine to appear. **

"Dionysus!" Zeus thundered.

"Yeah, Yeah sorry, sorry." He responded disinterestedly.

"**Mr D. your restrictions" Chiron said, as the sky thunders and _Mr D._ yells an insincere apology.**

Zeus muttered angrily. I know his son thinks his trying to punish him, but in reality he's just trying to help to get his son sober. Sentencing him to camp is sort of like rehab.

"**Do I have an idea who you are?" I repeated questioningly, "Not a fucking clue, but I'll go with unfortunate bastard. What exactly are your restrictions?" Everybody looks at me shocked, and I suppose I can understand why. I've never sworn in front of them before.**

"I blame you daughter Hera" Poseidon sighed. Hera started to scream indignantly.

"Hera, do you even know your daughter?" I asked, watching Zeus getting more pissed, she shook her head. "Then do us a favour, shut the fuck up"

"**I can't conjure, buy or pour myself any alcoholic drink," he said huffing. I shudder that's really not right, really, really not right. Especially for an alcoholic, poor sober bastard.**

"I like this kid" Mr D. declared utter silence fell, nobody moved a muscle, "What he understands my pain"

"**Wait a moment and no peeking at my cards" I say hopping up. Riffling through the adjoining kitchen I pull out a few random things and throw them in the blender pouring about a quarter of a small bottle of Trinski's and press go. Walking back in carrying classes I set them down.**

"I don't even want to know where he learnt to mix drinks," I said.

"I don't care where he learnt, I just care that he did. This kid can have anything I own except my packman machine, so long as he pours me drinks," Mr D. said. He actually liked one of the campers, it was sort of wrong. I was used to him hating them.

"**I don't understand," he said after a minute, taking a glass and greedily drinking. "Why would you help me out, I'm generally…" he stopped like he was either trying to find a child friendly word, or more likely didn't want to admit it.**

I raised an eyebrow. Mr D. just took a deep breath. "It's the second" he said, I nodded happy with fulfilling my uncle-y duty. I could once again ignore it for the next seven centuries.

"**An asshole?" I questioned, he glared at me but nodded. "You're a functioning alcoholic without the alcohol, bit not good. Other people's attempts at keeping you sober are only hurting you. Some people don't get better when they stop drinking" I informed him, grabbing my own glass "So this one's on me" **

"Is that right?" Zeus asked. I wondered if I was the only one who heard the slight shake in his voice.

"Dad, I'm the God of wine, I exist to drink, yes that's right" even though it was said in a soft voice I knew it would have been better if he had shouted.

"**Thank you, Percy Jackson" he said quietly, I think they were supposed to be telling me **

**something important or something but they didn't. We just play on in silence. Eventually Mr D. spoke again, "What do you know about you father's side of the family?"**

"Oh goody, here we go" Apollo said, I was about to tell him to shut up but Hermes beat me to it.

"Apollo did you get that message?" he asked him. Apollo shook his head, "Shut up!"

"**Not a lot, but I have a feeling I'm not going to like it," I said tiredly, as I sat there I fought the impulse to run away and live a normal, or as close to normal as I could get life. Except I didn't move, I waited for what ever bombshell they were going to drop on me.**

"I really don't think he'd be capable of a normal life, demi-god or not" Aphrodite said. I was inclined to agree with her.

"**This Percy is a camp. A camp for demi-gods, your father is one of the Olympian gods," Chiron said. The filter between my mouth and brain momentarily disconnected.**

"Yay" Artemis said happily, "A male that actually has a filter." If Artemis says she likes him than that's really it, the world can't take any more apocalypse scenarios.

"**You have got to be fucking kidding me, tell me you're fucking with me," I said taking out my phone to text Lyra. '_Your so dead, lets have dinner. I'm not hungry, let's have dinner. You forgot to mention were both part GOD, let's have dinner'_ and then I thought for a moment. "Wait a go Mom, you know you forgot to mention exactly what this has to do with me" **

"Right that made no sense, but at least his happy for his Mom. Even though sleeping with Poseidon isn't something to be proud of," Athena said arrogantly. I nearly hit her but Zeus just grinned at me, thinking the exact same thing I was. 'No but it's fun, especially when you share'

"You just find out your Dads a god, you don't ask which one or refuse to believe in gods, you just want to know what it's got to do with you?" Mr D. questioned. I just raised my eyebrow in a way that meant obviously. He sighed, "You're here because it isn't safe for you out there, there will be more attacks like at the museum." My first thought was fuck this nooseage I am so outta here.

"Fuck this nooseage? Where does you kid even hear this shit?" Ares said laughing.

**Then my text went off. _'We're part god, let's have dinner. I'm not hungry, lets have dinner. Sunset Tavern? Let's have dinner'_ I guess I'm going to go have dinner.**

"Oh that's sweet they have a thing" Demeter gushed. Why does a twelve year old and a Gods know how old girl have a thing? I think it's creepy and I'm the Lord of the dead.

"**_Monster's?_" I questioned irritated, "You know you get treated like one for long enough that's what you become. I don't want to stay here." They looked shocked, Chiron started protesting vehemently. I wasn't aware I'd made that much of an impression on him.**

"That's… actually incredibly insightful" Artemis said, "And if you think about it really sad"

"Why?" Aphrodite asked curiously.

"Because it means that we created the monsters" she replied. Obviously I thought, Gods tend to do that. "Not we as in the Gods, but we as in everybody. We made monsters out of the outcasts"

"**I wont let you leave, not with your sanity intact anyway" Mr D. said. Oh, I thought wine and madness. Dionysus. I smirked.**

"Don't even think about, if you so much as lay I finger on my son, mental or physical…" Poseidon didn't even finish his threat. He didn't have to.

"**Try Me," I said, a second later there was the unmistakeable feeling of someone slipping into my mind, looking around and freezing for a few moments before bringing up disturbing mental images of grapes pushing through insane sailors eyes as they screamed. I brought up memories of the children of the never-were, the reaver's to the rest of the universe. They were people that cannibalised themselves and had a tendency to eat people alive, among other less mentionable things. **

"Fuck" Ares yelled standing up and booting his throne, hands shaking as he tried to calm himself down.

"What" Poseidon demanded, "Ares, what?" Ares just shook his head and took a deep breath.

"You're kid'll have days, days that used to at some point, in that vacation of his only came every million days when the wind was just right and you were real lucky. Days that were so, so blessed because of something we take for granted" Ares said shakily, "Because on these days… nobody died at all. On these days everybody lived"

"I don't understand" I whispered, sacred almost that Ares would stop, that Ares would become the loud violent man we knew and expected.

"Kid's been places, places you don't come back from not broken. Places that no matter how much or far you run, no matter how long you spend thinking you escaped… you don't ever come back from" Ares sat down and crosses his legs. This was clearly all he was going to say on the matter.

He recoiled immediately, "You know you could be done for first degree mind rape for that?" I commented lightly as he shook his head, like he was trying to shake the images out of his head. "And showing someone that you can make them insane don't mean nothing to a crazy person"

Nobody was up to speaking after what Ares said, but I couldn't help wonder if he is insane and if he was… did it even matter?

"**Was that a defence or actual memories?" Mr. D asked in a harsh whisper, but he'd lost all sympathy from me the moment he looked into my head. There were people dead for less.**

"You know I can't even tell if he's joking or not" Zeus said.

"Do you really want to?" Hermes asked, most of us shook our heads.

"**You were the one messing about in there" I responded taping my temple, "You tell me?" I could almost see the internal struggle on Chiron's face as he debated what to do.**

"Poor Chiron, he has no idea what's going on," Hera said sympathetically. I agreed with her but I knew that Chiron would be fine, he's dealt with weird before.

"**You'll be staying in the Hermes cabin, until you are claimed. I'll have a camper show you around" he said.**

"I wonder if any of my kid manage to steal from him" Hermes said. I smirk.

"Really?" I asked, "I wonder what the kid'll do to him if he catches him." Hermes shivered, mission complete.

"**Just send Blondie," I said pointing over to where the girl from this morning was standing invisible. They looked confused so I clarified, "There's a shadow of a person and no person, height and outline match the blonde I met this morning"**

"How does he even notice things like that?" Aphrodite says in wonder. I don't know, he probably learnt it from Sherlock I concluded.

"**Annabeth" Chiron said the girl swept a baseball cap of her head becoming visible. "Show Percy around" he ordered. She turned and motioned for me to follow her, wordlessly I did. **

"And that's it" Mr D. said throwing the book in Ares direction, he picked up the book and started to read.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from any recognisable parts of this story. Percy Jackson isn't mine! A big thank you to all my reviewers. Warning: incest, swearing ECT. Ect.

Poseidon's P.O.V

I was freaking out, badly between what I was reading and what Ares said. I was having trouble remembering how to breathe right, but I couldn't let it show. Not here, I just wanted to curl up in between my brother's. Where everything would be all right, but I couldn't have that at the moment so I sat quietly and steeled myself for the next chapter.

**Having Blondie, sorry Annabeth show me around wasn't my idea of a perfect afternoon, but it beat… well actually it beat nothing I was trying to look on the bright side, and there actually was one. I don't see Lyra worshiping _anybody _Gods or not, but she did have some really strange traditions and I suppose I learnt them from her. Gold coins for the dead to pay the ferryman, putting a portion of her food into a fire _'For the watchers of the world, everything they've done to help us and everything they've fucked up'_, thanking the Gods, always plural, always mixing in ancient Greek every other word of phrase until in was an even blend of that and what ever other language we were speaking at the time and other things like that.**

"I don't understand how she can know all that and teach it to him, actually come to think of it he can't have gone travelling with my daughter. She's only six" Hera said shakily. I swallowed down panic.

"But she sounded older, it said she was older" Zeus said, and then he realized what his wife said and asked depressed, "Six year's old, it was only six years ago when you cheated on me?" I wanted to hold him but I forced myself stay seated. Hades looked like he wanted to hurt her to.

**She must have learnt them all from here, which made me less dependent on people like Annabeth. I still listened carefully to her as she pointed everything out, the dinning pavilion, the stables, arena and other things like that. When in doubt, know your way out.**

"Rule 37, rule 1 cardio. You kid knows how to survive a zombie apocalypse Poseidon" Apollo said cheerily. I was going to douse him but Artemis had already shot him with an arrow.

"Enough Apollo" she sighed.

**I was actually managing to enjoy myself as Annabeth explain about how the Gods follow the western civilisation, it explained a lot. "You don't even seem to care that your Dad's out there" Annabeth said, "You act like it doesn't even matter" I sighed and thought about how to explain it to someone like her.**

"What is that supposed to mean" Athena shrieked, I was more concerned with the fact that my son may not care about me and I wanted him to. I wanted to be a good Father.

"It could mean anything Athena, shut up and listen if you want an answer," Hades drawled in a bored tone. I shot him a thankful look.

"**That's because it doesn't matter, not to me. It's kind of like he never cared before so why does it matter now? I'd say I hate him but that would mean bringing myself to care that he exists. I more concerned with getting back my Mom," I said quietly. She looked almost like somebody had slapped her in the face.**

I felt like some had slapped me in the face, with a shovel, everyone was looking at me with pity and it really didn't help. My stomach swirled vengefully and my head killed. You're a bad Father, no wonder he doesn't care a tiny voice in the back of my head screamed, you'd probably disgust him, nobody loves you. I faked a sigh of irritation and pulled my knees up to my chest to hide the way I was digging my fingernails into my stomach.

"**Your Moms dead, you can't just go get her back and your Dad's a God, you shouldn't talk about the Gods like that," she said. Oh how quaint, people have told her things like that her whole life. The dead always stay dead, you can't turn back time, there is nobody as powerful as the Gods and she believed them. In that moment I decided that I would look after her, Lyra would kill me if I didn't, according to her family is the most important thing there is. The world would tear Annabeth apart if she ever got out there, I wouldn't let that happen to my little cousin. **

"Damn it Poseidon, your stupid spawn is making it so hard to fucking hate him. He's supposed to be useless just like you" Athena screeched. I just let all the hate and disgust I felt toward myself fill my eyes the glared at her as if I were looking at myself. She flinched so bad she fell off her throne.

"**There was no body, she disappeared into gold sparks. I'm leaning towards kidnapping, not dead and the… thing sent to collect her belongs to the underworld. It looks like I'm going to go have a chat with Hades in the near future" I said quietly. Annabeth opened and closed her mouth a few times like she couldn't seem to find anything to say to that, so we walked along in silence.**

"Oh fuck" Hades muttered, "This isn't going to go well, for me especially I'm thinking." The other Gods and Goddesses laughed because from what we'd read he was probably right.

"**Oi, Prissy" a girl yelled making her way over to us. She had brown hair and a mean look on her face like she be happy to commit some serious anarchy. My first impression was of a 'Rude Girl' from Saint Trinian's, I smiled and squashed the impulse to give her explosives. **

"Oh come on kid do it" Ares cheered interrupting himself, "Clarisse would love it"

"Clarisse?" Aphrodite asked with curiosity.

"Sounds like a description of my daughter Clarisse" he responded, and the rest of the paragraph settled in. "Wait, Saint Trinian's?" Everyone shuddered and my panic levels rose to near unbearable levels. My fingers tightened on my stomach leaving small crescent shaped punctures but I didn't noticed.

"Go away Clarisse" Annabeth grumbled, "Go polish your spear or something"

"Not the most intelligent come back" somebody scoffed, but I was barely paying attention.

"**Sure I will Prissy, so I can run you through with it on Friday night" the girl said before turning to me. "What are you smiling at? We've got an initiation ceremony for newbies." She leapt at me less than a second after she finished talking, thinking fast I dropped to my knees, she sailed over me as I swerved to face her and stood.**

"Nice skills, shame his not a boy" Artemis said. We all groaned, her and her hunters. Lesbians.

"**Not bad" I said looking at how far her leap had thrown her, "If that'd hit me like you'd planed I would have hit the ground with enough force to be dazed long enough for you and your friend's to cause some serious pain. What was the actual intention there?" I asked.**

"Nice" Hermes chucked, "Tell her exactly what she did and ask her what the point was, that's going to piss her off." I frowned in anxiety; even though I knew he wasn't in serious trouble I was still worried.

"**I was gonna drag you in the bathroom and dunk your head in the head in the toilet punk" she spat at me, watching for another opening. I laughed.**

"Oh, she should have done that, his reaction would have been amusing" Zeus laughed. I raised my eyebrow questioningly before internally conceding to the point.

"**Your real lucky you didn't," I said relaxing, "Really lucky you didn't." She looked mildly baffled, deciding to help her out I pulled water from the ground and had it wrap around her ankle, and she looked down in surprise.**

"And now she knows he's my son" I muttered, I didn't think that she was going to tell.

"**Ok, no toilets for you" she murmured, I don't even think that she realized that she'd spoken aloud. I let the water drop before anyone else noticed and turned to walk away, the second that I'd turned she cracked me in the back of the head with enough force to make me hit the floor. Instinctively I swung my foot round to hit her neck, aiming wide at the last second and connecting with her shoulder. There was a sickening crack as my foot connected, her shoulder dislocated and I knew from experience that there would be several breaks and nine fractures. If that had hit her neck… I had to do better than that. **

"Your son nearly killed my daughter Poseidon" Ares yelled, "And I can't even be mad cause I know why a kill shot is his reflex" I shivered a the broken tone of voice Ares used.

"At least he was sorry for it" Demeter said. I didn't answer, I had to keep it together, I wonder if there is a way to stop Ares from speaking.

"**Are you ok?" I asked kneeling next to her, "Sorry it's a knee jerk reaction." She just glared at me whilst Annabeth ran of to get a medic or something. Clarisse breathed in heavily through her nose, which was when I realized she hadn't made a sound. My respect levels for her just went up tremendously; I'd been on the receiving end of that hit and by the Goddess it hurts like a bitch. **

"There it is again, by the Goddess, I like this kid he respects the female species," Artemis said. The rest of the Goddesses nodded in agreement, I was smart enough to keep my mouth shut.

"**You know where going to have a proper fight, the kind where I get to leave you bloody broken body in the arena punk," she said though gritted teeth. I laughed at the prospect.**

"He's insane" Hermes breathed.

"Brilliant" Dionysus declared, "Provided that I don't mess with his head this time round I'll have someone to talk to." I knocked him off his throne with a wave of water.

"Not brilliant" I growled angrily.

"**Sure I'd love to see what anybody who can take that kind of pain could throw down in a fight," I said holding out my hand, "I'm Percy Jackson." She shook my hand with her injured hand, which I'd done on purpose, just to see what she would do. **

"Nice" Apollo said appreciatively.

"Apollo, don't even think about going anywhere near my daughter" Ares threatened. Apollo pouted and I tried to remember why I acknowledged that I was related to these people.

"**Clarisse, daughter of Ares" she said clearly holding my gaze, telling me non-verbally that she knew exactly what I was doing. I mentally put her on my list of people not to be fucked with, not that I particularly cared who her Dad was. I was more impressed with the fact that she could move her arm at all, let alone speak clearly whilst doing it. **

"This kid has a knack for making you like him whilst he insults you and everything you stand for" Zeus said tiredly. Everyone agreed with that statement. My head was starting to pound, he was insane and probably was not going to want anything to do with me but he was my son and I loved him.

**The medic person how they sent to check her out was a kid about my age from the shiny golden cabin. I didn't doubt that he knew what he was doing though, I'd seen stranger thing after all. "Dislocated, broken in several places and fractured in nine" I said, at his puzzled look I added "I've been on the receiving end of that hit more than once"**

"And she was still capable of shaking his hand?" Hades said quietly shaking his head, "She's good." Ares was looking incredibly proud, something that I didn't blame him for one bit.

"**Hey punk" Clarisse said before I left, "What war was it?" I raised my eyebrow in fake confusion. "That kick was aimed at my neck initially and was a knee jerk reaction. War's the only place that a kill shot becomes a knee jerk reaction" **

"Hey she's smart too" Apollo commented.

"So she wouldn't be interested in you" Artemis responded, everyone laughed and Ares mouthed 'Thank you'

"**There more than one kind of war and you can find it anywhere if you know where to look. You're a daughter of Ares, you should know that," I told her, being as cryptic as I could possible manage. She nodded in acceptance and I knew she understood. She was part war after all. **

"Part war, I don't think I've ever heard someone word it like that," Hera said. I didn't want war anywhere near my son, but I knew it was to late and I didn't know of any war bad enough to send the God of War almost comatose. I was sure that I almost didn't want to find out.

"**Do I even want to know?" Annabeth asked sighing in confusion. I thought about it and shook my head that was a part of the world that I didn't want to know about. I knew that I would do my damn hardest to keep it from her, so she could go on believing in, well… just about anything she likes.**

"Crap" Athena swore, "I swear your son is almost trying to make it impossible for me to hate him, I mean he just has to be gay and then he's perfect"

"Why does he have to be gay to be perfect?" Aphrodite questioned.

"Because then he can't fall in love with my daughter" she said as if this was obvious. I didn't mind if my son was gay or not, I was having an affair with _both _my brothers. It was never going to be something that would particularly bother me but I didn't like the appreciating looks all the males in the room were showing in the idea.

"Athena, he could fall in love with one of your sons instead" I remind her she just shrugged.

"**Welcome to cabin eleven, the Hermes cabin" she said stopping in front on a well-worn cabin. Not the kind of nobody bothered to fix it, broken kind of well worn but the kind of well worn that says this cabin is lived in and loved. The kind of place that says everybody is welcome, you need a place to stay the night- sure, find some space.**

"I love the way he describes my cabin" Hermes said happily.

"What like a broken down place filled with to many people?" Hera questioned.

'Nope, like a place that my family is welcome to stay in until the have somewhere else to go" he said, bringing up family was a sure fire way to shut her up.

**Then I walked inside, and nearly had a heart attack.**

"What" I groaned, "No, that's enough. Can we take an hour to go have dinner or something cause I'm getting a migraine"

"Sure" Zeus said relieved, "Everyone be back in an hour, we can read a few chapters before bed"

**And done, sorry it took so long to finish; I couldn't seem to get it right. I'm still not sure if I did, reviews help, hint, hint. I'll give you a cookie.**


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from any recognisable parts of this story. Percy Jackson isn't mine! A big thank you to all my reviewers. Warning: incest, swearing ECT. Ect.

Zeus's P.O.V

Everybody cleared out of the throne room except my brother's. Hades and I both stood and move towards Poseidon.

"Are you alright?" I said biting back the urge to call him darling. He wouldn't tolerate it outside of closed doors. He shook his head and the arms around waist tightened. Oh.

"Come here" Hades said gently prying Poseidon's hands from his stomach, he fought against him.

"Not here, please, just not" he whispered, "I, want to go swimming with me?" he asked slightly louder. I pulled him up took his hand, walking in the direction to the pool. Hades followed behind us chuckling. The pool was indoors in Poseidon's rooms. Stripping off completely I jump into the pool.

"Your so immature" Hades said smiling. I rolled my eyes as they jumped in after me. There were crescent shaped marks on Poseidon's stomach. ***(From here to the other star involves brotherly kissing, of the un-brotherly kind and implied sex, skip if offensive) **Crap, I swam over to him as the water cleared them up, but Hades beat me to it and pulled Poseidon into a bruising kiss.

"Damn it brother… you are important… beautiful… and loved" he said in between long kisses. I move forward and took him out of Hades grip and kiss him myself.

"We do love you darling," I said biting his bottom lip. An hour later, at the end of our allotted time Poseidon was a lot happier, even if Hades and I were exhausted. If fact he was practically bouncing around the room as Hades and I lay on the bed demolishing a bowel of grapes.

"Time to go" he said tipping himself across our laps and pouting. I grin, "We shouldn't all arrive at the same time, it'll look suss." Unfortunately he was right. "I'll go first" he said giving us both a huge kiss before practically skipping out. Hades and I looked at each other before collapsing on the bed.

"How is he still moving, I'm exhausted" I groaned, rolling over and laying my head in his chest.

"It's the salt water" he said pressing a kiss briefly to my lips, "It's got to be" weakly chuckling we made our way down to the throne room.***** Athena picked up the book once everybody was seated and began to read.

Standing in the middle of the overcrowded cabin was a guy about a few years older than me, about fifteen or sixteen and he was the male clone of Chelsea Parker, my kleptomaniac exceedingly gorgeous claiming-to-be cousin.

"That would be my daughter" Hermes said proudly. I however was smiling; it was just the resemblance that had give him a heart attack. Nothing to freak out Poseidon.

**Except he was better looking and I had the strangest feeling it was because he _wasn't _a girl. I filed that away to freak out about later. I had bigger problems at the moment, like the fact that just under half the cabin had the same mischievous look as Chelsea… right before she'd steal my wallet. Fuck.**

"Look like they take after there father" Apollo taunted.

"Your not still sore over me stealing your cows are you that was centuries ago" Hermes responded grinning. Everybody groaned waiting for them to finish bickering, this argument wasn't ever going to stop.

"**Regular or undetermined?" the Chelsea-look-alike asked. **

"I wonder which of your children that is," Aphrodite questioned impishly.

"Don't even think about it," her husband said.

"**Undetermined" Annabeth said, much to the disappointment of the rest of the cabin. Looking around that horrible feeling I had just got worse. Undetermined… I guess not everybody gets _claimed _by his or her Godly parent. Claimed such a ridiculous way to phrase it. Makes us sound like lost luggage, you'd think that they'd be better than that. Gods make crap parents, I guess.**

I know that I wasn't the only one feeling badly about that, but I didn't know if there was anything to be done. Nobody even bothered to deny the claim.

"**Now, now that's what were here for. I'm Luke, welcome to cabin eleven" Chelsea's twin said. Luke, I was happy to have a name to go with the face, one down about fifty to go. **

"Good luck with that" Dionysus snorted, I shook my head remembering that he could never remember any of the campers names.

"**Percy Jackson, you don't have a sister at Saint Trinian's by the name of Chelsea Parker do you?" I asked. He frowned, I wonder if I'd have so many sibling that I'd have to stop and actually think about a question like that.**

"No" Poseidon said automatically, I rolled my eye that was only because it was forbidden.

"**No, I don't thinks so. Why?" he said frowning. I pulled out my phone and showed him a picture of Chelsea, Lyra and I at the British Comedy Gala. "Damn, she looks just like me, pass you phone around so everyone else can see." I nearly laughed.**

"If he hand that around it will truly prove once and for all that men are stupid," Artemis said.

"Agreed" all the other Goddesses chorused, I mentally face-palmed.

"**That there is a picture of the Comedy Gala, on the way home she tricked Lyra and I into breaking into the arcade and stealing a Packman machine. On the off chance that kleptomania is something that you've inherited… I don't think so," I explained, and in that one second you could see who was actually a child of Hermes and who was undetermined. They all groaned in disappointment. Good, bastards weren't getting my iphone 1003; I'd have to go all the way to the 55th century just to get another one.**

"Wait, did he just say 55th century?" I asked startled, how the fuck?

"Yes," Athena said "An iphone 1003, form the 55th century"

""Fuck" Ares cursed, "Sometimes I hate being right"

"**You just might survive here, Percy Jackson" Luke said, and just like that life at Camp-Half Blood started. Between all the normal camp actives: Archery (Which I was terrible at, give me a gun any day), sword fighting classes, canoeing, climbing the lava wall, meal times and the Gods forsaken sing along's. During which I'd taken to finding a bottle and splitting it with Mr D.**

"Hey, what's wrong with the sing along's" Apollo complained.

"Everything, we need to get this kid to camp now, and his liquor" Dionysus said desperately, I laughed along with the others at that.

**Vodka double wine be our friend, I also quit smoking. Luke became a good friend of mine after showing me his piece of twenty-first century heaven. I'm talking plasma screen TV, Xbox, playstation, surround sound speakers connected to the ipod dock. I even ended up crashing in his bed, when another five demi-gods got shoved into cabin eleven and there wasn't enough room for everyone. I, in that time came to accept that I was at least partially gay, which was why, when I had the option of moving when four of them were claimed I was quite happy to stay where I was. That and there were no nightmares there.**

Athena's voice got more and more high pitched as she read the partially gay part. I winced as it assaulted my eardrums.

"Yay, now his perfect, and can't fall in love with my daughter" she sang.

"You know you sound like Aphrodite" Hades comments lightly, that shut her right up.

**If I ever met the Gods, I would definitely have to have a word with them about the way they treat their kids. They need to treat them better or extend the Hermes cabin, and speaking of Hermes that was another thing I made sure to do. Scrape a potion of my food into the fire as a thank you for the hospitality. I generally did what Lyra did, said thanks to everyone for everything they'd done and everything they'd fucked up, but I thought I should say thank you. **

"Your right, he does have a habit of insulting you and everything you stand for and still making you like him," Hermes said laughing.

"You only say that because he gave offerings to you" Hera snorted.

"Yes well I did give him, and all you children a place to stay while you consider if you want them or not" he replied, I wasn't the only one to bow my head in shame at that.

**I never mentioned this to Luke though, because if I, who didn't really give a flying fuck who my father is, was considered to have Daddy issues then Luke was in a class of his own. Though to the casual observer it wouldn't seem like it, I don't know what happened to his Mom, I only herd him mention her once, but what ever it was it wasn't good and he blamed his Dad.**

Hermes looked like a kicked puppy; wordlessly Apollo jumped down from his throne and wrapped him in a hug. Hades at least had the decency to look ashamed.

**I made sure to keep up with Annabeth, who was desperate to get out of here. She wanted to go on a quest, and see the world before being stuck here forever. Poor Wise-girl. **

"No, no, no, no" Athena groaned loudly, "Stay in camp where you're safe." Nobody bothered to tell her she was talking to a book, because we all empathised.

**Clarisse was another one of my favourite campers. Neither a friend nor an enemy, more of a frienemy, we fought two or three times a day, too much to be friends. Except I think she picked those fights to give me practice at not turning around and killing whatever or whoever attacks me as quickly as possible. It's why she wasn't an enemy either.**

I looked at Ares in confusion, he'd probably be able to explain it best, and he just smiled back.

"Sounds like the kid has PTSD, and Clarisse is trying to help him," Ares said shrugging. Poseidon smiled at the fact that she was trying to help.

**Today though was something I'd been looking forward to, capture the flag. It's complicated to explain, because we weren't separated into two teams. We had to make alliances with other cabins, where things were traded. The best shower times, coke-a-cola and junk food that was smuggled in and all sorts of stuff. **

"Brat's, there not supposed to have any of that stuff," Dionysus grumbled.

"Nobody care's" Aphrodite said flipping her hair over her shoulder.

"**Don't move from here," Annabeth said, "I doubt anyone will come by here but just in case we need you to guard this entrance. Liar, I don't know why she even try's anymore.**

"Because most normal new kids don't want to hear that there bait?" Ares said questioningly.

"How do you know that's the plan?" Athena sneered.

"God. Of. War." He spelt out, I stifled a chuckle, it really was kind of obvious. Even Ares could work it out.

"**Nope, you need me to stand here so they think I'm guarding our flag and will attack me while you lot sneak round and steal there flag" I told her matter of factly, but not maliciously like I would have when I first met her. "Don't cha Wise-girl"**

"Oh, she's not gonna like that" Demeter said wincing. Somehow I didn't think so, if they were close she wouldn't mind.

"**Yeah, but I knew you could handle your self, and Athena always has a plan" she said smiling happily. I wasn't about to burst her bubble and tell her that her strategizing skill were all her. If she could find something good about this whole absentee parent, but you can't complain because they're Gods, very important people, doing very important things thing, then yay for Annabeth.**

"Well that's just depressing" Poseidon said quietly, I agreed. This kid certainly knew how to cheer you up, not.

**So it was getting dark, cold and there was a certainty of being attacked and possibly maimed, I needed to be careful. It was to similar, but as long as there wasn't ash raining from the sky, flashing lights or people that yelled exterminate in cold robotic voices I shouldn't have a flashback.**

"Definitely PTSD" Hera muttered

"Why would someone going EXTERMINATE! Scare anyone" Apollo said. Ares had violently flinched.

"Imagine an evil genius fucking up his master creations, making an army of emotionless, xenophobic aliens in robotic shells that will kill everything that isn't them because they honestly think it's the right thing to do" he told him emotionlessly, "You only need one to take out a whole planet and the last thing that all those people hear before they die is exterminate"

"Fuck, I'm sorry" Apollo said, I valiantly tried to ignore the Goosebumps on my arms as Athena continued reading.

**I pushed that out of my mind as I saw five reds making there way over, Clarisse and her brothers. They hadn't spotted me yet, I internally warred with myself, follow the plan and let them see me or hide, get close to them and take them out as quick as possible. I decided to stick with the plan.**

"Stick to the plan" I muttered to myself, slightly nervous about hearing the kid in action,

"**Going somewhere?" I questioned them as the headed towards me, their eyes snapped toward me. Hands tightening on swords, I uncapped my pen that despite having fought with for what felt like centuries but couldn't possibly be I still didn't know it's name, it turned back into a sword. A silent invitation. One full rotation spin renders it sharp enough to cut souls form their bodies, but this was a friendly fight. So I wouldn't need it.**

"Riptide" Poseidon whispered breathlessly, "Doesn't do that, Hera what did you're daughter do." Hera just shook her head, unknowingly.

**And then the boys did something incredibly stupid that I probably should have expected; they all attacked me at once and I couldn't handle it. My body went on autopilot. Duck, swing, move, watch the sword. Free expanse of neck, swing… No! my hand shook as my sword wrenched up clang, hit the helmet. Unconscious, not good, aim to kill can't let them up again; no unconscious is good, children can't... wont kill children. **

"Oh fuck," I said out loud drawing everybody's attention to me, "What? You were all thinking it." Ares sat there pale as a ghost, it Percy Jackson lost it; his children would pay the price.

**My leg swung up behind me. Crack! Broken ribs, my blade came down automatically, no… the hilt collided with his temple, stop, it's just a game. An arm grabs mine, the other blade arcs in my direction. Clang, it hit my blade. Sun glints off metal, the other one is attacking, move! I sidestepped. The sword embedded itself in the others arm, blood, my hands shake. Have to stop now, no lethal force. Just disengage the threats.**

There were multiple sighs of relief at that statement.

"Poor kid" Aphrodite said, I was busy trying to think of what kind of carnage would make it this hard to fight without trying to kill people and how had this kid learnt that lesson.

**My head slammed forward into the firsts head; and I threw my elbow back into the other's throat. Done, one more target, weapon: spear, electric. She threw it down and stepped aside. Not a target- surrendered… there was cheering as a flit of colour run past the edge of my vision, the flag. **

"Aren't you embarrassed that your daughter surrendered?" Artemis asked. I shook my head at her attempt to bring back a sense of normalcy, because Ares just looked at her and said,

"Look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn't have." She looked away and didn't answer.

**Growling filled my ears as red eyes appeared behind the girl; no I glanced at the spear near my foot. Not girl, victim. I reach forward grabbed her arm and using momentum pushed her in the direction of the spear. The beasts paw swung and left deep claw marks in my arm I pushed in closer, dropped to my to my knees flipped my sword to it's altered state and swung upwards, there was no resistance. Skin, muscle and bone parted like butter. **

"I thought he was kidding" Hades breathed, people just looked at him. "When he said that it was sharp enough to cut souls from the body's I thought he was kidding"

"Apparently not" Apollo said lightly.

**Whoosh, the beast's (Some sort of massive dog's) head disconnected from its body and both head and body hit the floor with a sickening thump, blood spraying in a fine mist through the air. The scratches on my arm started to burn and the skin decoloured, poison. I needed running water; I walked over to the creek and placed my hand in.**

"That was a hell hound, wasn't it?" Aphrodite questioned. Hades nodded, sending a guilty apologetic look at Poseidon.

"He got to water, it'll be fine" he reassured, I wasn't the only God to let out a breathe at that. I guess he had grown on us.

**The water started crawling up my arm, cleaning out the dirt and poison, stopping the **

**bleeding, reducing them to scratches, then scars, then nothing at all. The fog that had clouded my head during the fight lifted. As I looked around reality set in. **

"Oh dear" Athena said, obviously been reading ahead, "That's not good" I frowned.

"Why wouldn't that be good?" I questioned, she just smiled and continued to read. At first I thought she was ignoring me, the I realized she was actually answering the question.

**People were milling about in shock and horror, there were four unconscious and maimed camper's that I'd attacked, a dead monster that hadn't disappeared, we'd won capture the flag, there was a glowing blue holograph of a trident over my head and everyone was kneeling in front of me. Ah, fuck.**

"I think 'Ah, fuck' pretty much cover's it" Hermes said.

"That was pretty much my reaction to finding out I was related to Poseidon" Athena said, I was about to smack her in the back of the head but Poseidon just looked at her and said,

"Really, I was so horrified at being related to you that I try to drown myself, it took me half an hour for the fact that I could breathe underwater to break through the horror." I had to restrain myself form laughing, nobody else did though.

"**All hail Percy Jackson, son of Poseidon, God of the sea, Stormbringer, Earthshaker, all hail" Chiron called. And I'd only been at camp a week. Oh yes, ah fuck indeed.**

There were some giggles at that, before Athena the book to Hades. He took a deep breath and begin to read.

I've never written action, so how'd I do? Thanks for reading.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from any recognisable parts of this story. Percy Jackson isn't mine! A big thank you to all my reviewers. Warning: incest, swearing ECT. Ect.

Hades P.O.V

This kid had some serous issues and I didn't particularly want to read, because if it was bad then I would omit it for Poseidon's well being. I sighed and began to read.

**The monster was cleared away and some sort of celebration started for the winners of capture the flag, I guess that would be us. I didn't care though, I slipped away at the earliest opportunity, there was just to many people. So here I was sitting not in my brand new cabin, which I thought was quiet frankly amazing, but in Luke and mine's little piece of the 21st century.**

"Aww" Aphrodite cooed, "That's so sweet"

"Really, I thought it was logical" Athena said, "You know going somewhere where he could get help but not be followed by everybody." I mentally face-palmed, she was just trying to hard.

"**You left" Luke said standing at the entrance of the tent, "Did what happened during capture the flag scare you?" I pondered on how to answer, it didn't scare me but… I hated that I nearly killed people I wasn't supposed to.**

"As opposed to people that he is supposed to kill" Hera questioned, getting motherly, "Can we keep him?" she questioned. Everybody froze.

"What?" Poseidon asked, slightly hopeful.

"He needs help and his family" She said, "Families take care of each other, I got a visit from the older version of my daughter. She reminded me that family is everyone, weather we get along or like each other or are perfect or not" she shot an apologetic look at Hesperus.

"Maybe" Zeus said, "We will reconvene on the issue after the books." I found myself hoping that he would stay here, because Hera was right and I mentally saluted whoever had slapped sense into her.

"**No" I responded, "There were just to many people and they were all yelling and screaming, it reminded me of somewhere… somewhere that was, a bit not good." It wasn't the best explanation, but it was the only one.**

"A bit not good?" Ares asked questioningly. I nodded, "I wonder what he classified as long drown out, never ending hell the" he muttered. I shivered at his tone of voice.

"**You know you have your own cabin now, no need to come crash in my tent to get away from everybody and be alone," he said laughing, clearly joking but I just wasn't in the mood.**

"No, PTSD, flashbacks and a hellhound attack, I don't suppose that he would be" Poseidon said quietly.

"At least he tried" Hermes consoled, and I suppose he was right.

"I came here because I wouldn't be alone… I knew you'd follow me. That cabin of mine is

**great, it's got it's own bathroom and kitchen, but it's empty and I'd be in there alone" I said. Luke smiled, grabbed a blanket, shrugged of his shoes a lay down next to me, spreading the blanket over us and wriggling around to get comfortable. **

"Athena, please stop bouncing in you're seat, its distracting" I said shooting her a look. She blushed and murmured sorry. I noticed that she wasn't the only Goddess excited about that though. Gods help the kid if they all try to get involved in his love life.

"**It's nice to be needed," he said cuddling in just as close as we would in the Hermes cabin to keep from falling out of the single bed. I liked the fact that he still did it regardless of how much room we had. "I wish you were older," he murmured. I wished so to, I was supposed to be.**

There were multiple feminine squeals at this; I cringed at the high pitches sound.

**The next morning I was dragged up to the big house the second that Luke and I deigned to come back to camp. We spent all morning listening to ACDC and playing Call of Duty, the last of which was ironic because I was about to get a quest. 'Call of duty' to the 'Highway to hell' indeed.**

Hermes and Apollo started laughing, and then I realised.

"Ah fuck, it looks like I should be expecting visitors" I groaned.

"And this is a bad thing?" Demeter questioned. I just shook my head.

"I appear to have kidnapped his Mom, I do not see this confrontation going well" I said, they all thought about it for a moment and winced.

"**Percy, how are you settling in to camp?" Chiron asked me as I mixed drinks for us and Mr D. I idly browsed through the liquor collection the big house had, midday margaritas I decided.**

"Why does the big house have a liquor collection?" Zeus questioned Dionysus. He raised his eyebrows.

"There is a kid at camp that can and will make me drinks and you expect that I wont make sure that there's variety?" he asked rhetorically.

"**Neh" I said shrugging as I poured drinks, "Fine, I suppose." I handed the drinks out, Chiron and I had an agreement, he didn't say anything about me drinking at age twelve and I continued to help Mr D. be a nicer person through a large selection of alcohol.**

"You can't have him" Dionysus said childishly.

"Why not?" Hera asked dangerously.

"Because, who's going to be my bar tender?" he whined, genuinely afraid. I huff moodily, were never going to finish this book I mused.

"**Good" Mr D. said sculling his drink and pouring another one, "That's great, now you've got to leave on a quest to go get Zeus's master lightning bolt back, of which he is convinced that you stole, bring it to the empire state building's 600th floor, Mount Olympus and return it to Zeus in nine days" **

"You've got to be fucking kidding me" Zeus swore, "WHERE IS MY BOLT!" Oww, my ears.

"Right their Father" Athena said pointing next to his chair, he scooped it up and hugged it to his chest.

"Mine" he murmured. At least I wasn't the only one trying not to piss my self laughing.

"**Fuck my life" I mumbled, "Alright, Whatever and yes Annabeth, you can come." I whipped off her invisibility hat as I passed. She jumped up and down shrieking in excitement, I sighed in mock frustration as I made my way up to see the oracle of Delphi. I don't think I was supposed to spend about two hours chatting but she was lovely.**

"That thing is so creepy" somebody murmured, I just shifted guiltily in my seat.

**Also with lines like _'You will be betrayed by one you call friend' _and _'You shall fail to save what matters most in the end' _I felt I deserved a couple of hours talking to the poor woman, being a mummy I don't imagine that anyone would have gone and talked to her if they didn't want a prophesy or something from her. People can be so judgmental about stuff like that.**

"Yay, someone who appreciates my oracle" Apollo sang, before saying in completely serious voice, "You know he's right people really are way judgemental about that"

"My brother said something intelligent, that is the world is screwed" Artemis said, Apollo just pouted.

**Luke really didn't want me to go, but I suppose I wouldn't want him to run off to do something dangerous for people whom don't acknowledge you unless they want something either. In the end I convinced him to let me go, and it was important to convince him. Mostly because he keep stealing my stuff and putting it back into my draws whenever I wasn't looking. **

"He's right, the only time we see them is when we want something," I said, "And I hope your son convinces him not to go" the last part was mumbled to Hermes.

"Scared brother" Zeus taunted. I just chuckled.

"Oh brother, I assume your next" he stopped then, frowning worriedly..

"**You know I'm only going to get my Mom back right?" I asked, halfway through the somewhat futile effort of packing. "I don't actually give a flying fuck about the lighting bolt" **

Zeus whimpered and clutched it ever tighter.

"We would actually steal that thing you know" Poseidon told him smiling. I was happy that he felt better, exceptional sex does that to everyone.

"**I suppose that I really can't argue with that" he sighed, flopping onto the bed I'd claimed. I finished packing and settled next to him using him as some kind of giant pillow. "You got everything you need?" he murmured quietly.**

"That so sweet, he cares" Aphrodite said quietly. I suppose it was, but nobody else heard her, maybe she only acted stupid, probably not.

"**Yep" I said, "Clothes, weapons, phone, money, explosives, ipad, poison, nectar, ambrosia, ipod" I ticked them off on my fingers as I said them. Luke smiled as I ticked off some of the more deadly ones. **

"Where?" Poseidon asked before stopping, "You know what, I don't even want to know." A sentiment that I agreed with completely, because I get the feeling that the answer is not good.

"**Good, now get out of here before I kidnap you" he huffed, despite telling me to leave wrapping his arms around mine tighter and squeezing my wrists. Panic burned through me, I was up and on the other side of the bed in less time it took to blink. Sitting wide-eyed taking in everything before pausing.**

"Flashbacks" Ares said staring at his fingernails, avoiding meeting anybody's eye. Since when did we turn to him to explain things instead of Athena? I suppose I like him better because he gets to the point.

"**Crap, I did it again" I muttered, "Sorry… I just…" How did I explain this, damn flashbacks. I shook my head to try to clear physically the last of them from my brain.**

"Poor bastard" Dionysus mutters to himself. It must be bad, if the God of Madness sympathised. Then again the kid get to sick to make drink and he get sober again.

"**Had a panic attack?" Luke said slowly moving forward to take my hand, "Percy, what happened to you? Where did you go?" I reached into my pocket and pulled out a silver pocket watch with circular engravings etched on to it. **

"No, no way" Ares said freezing, "Chameleon arch, that means he's a…."

"What?" Athena asked, but he wouldn't look at her, or any of us. Circular engravings, I could put my finger on why, but for some reason it made me shiver.

"**You aren't the only one who wants to know where the punks been" Clarisse said standing at the door. "I think that you've lost you're mind sometimes" **

"Only sometimes, I guess that's okay then" Hermes said trying to lighten the mood. I don't think it worked very well.

"**Can't have lost my mind if I remember exactly where I put it," I said holding up the watch. "All the missing bits are in here." They both looked baffled so I sprung up and moved over to Clarisse. "So what do we owe the pleasure of your company?"**

"That's true what is she doing in there?" Poseidon asked.

"If you'd let me read I'd be able to tell you" I sighed in frustration.

"**Chiron says it's time for you guys to go" she said taken aback at my sudden change in mood. Mission accomplished, now I just had to get out of there before they started asking questions that I couldn't answer yet.**

"Nice avoidance technique" someone said. I glared in the general direction that the sound came from.

"**Alright then, I'll see you when I get back" I said grabbing my stuff and giving Luke a hug. Clarisse just rolled her eyes.**

"Yay, he's definitely gay" Hestia said. Oh Gods, they corrupted our little sister, no.

"**You're so gay Jackson" she told me. I think she was trying to insult me, I just laughed.**

So did everyone else, I couldn't help but wonder how he would respond to that it would probably be amusing.

"**You know what, I think you're absolutely right but don't tell. Kay honey?" I said the last part as flamboyantly as possible, gave her a big kiss on the cheek and ran for my life. "Bye I shouted, as Clarisse chased me. I ushered Annabeth and Grover into the car as fast as I can and we were out of there. **

"Damn, the kids got balls" Apollo said smiling. Athena was ridiculously happy about this, I was a little disturbed about her enthusiasm actually. On the plus side- nobody cared that he was gay, considering this entire family is divided into virgin and bi-sexual I don't think we'd have room to judge.

"**What did you do to Clarisse?" Grover asked. I just smile and put my finger to my lips, he didn't ask again knowing that he probably really didn't want to know. About 20 minutes later we were sitting on a bus headed toward LA and then Annabeth saw them.**

"Ah fuck, what now" Artemis swore.

"Are you concerned about a boy?" Zeus asked his daughter shocked.

"He's gay, it doesn't really matter. It's like he's one of the girls now because he's never going to break a girls heart. Which is why I disrespect girl-liking boys as a whole" she explained. I ignored it because my head was starting to hurt.

"**Percy, Grover we got problems" she said indicating to the front of the bus were three old ladies got on the bus. Two old ladies and what looked like their granddaughter that weren't actually old ladies at all, they were furies and then I recognised one. What the fuck was Stephy doing here.**

"No" I said awed, "No way, he cannot be friends with one of my top torturers, it just can happen"

"Really" Poseidon said baffled, I just nodded and continued reading.

"**Do you trust me?" I asked, the nodded hesitantly, "Then play along. Oi, Stephy what cha doing here" I yelled. The youngest Fury stood up and barrelled down to our end of the bus.**

"Please let this be a good thing" Hera sighed, knowing that if Poseidon freaked, so would Zeus and I, which led to a giant cluster fuck of epic proportions.

"**Percy, I have seen you since you ran away from you're last school. Where ya been?" she said giving me a mega hug and sliding into the empty seat next to me.**

"Mega hug?" I say scared, "She rips people insides out and force feeds them to them, seriously… Mega hug? This is really not right, your son makes the weirdest friends"

"Rips people insides out" Aphrodite says. I shiver and nod.

"**Yeah, I split after one of you're charming relatives tried to slice and dice me at school. Went to Montauk with my Mom, anyway this are my friends, Annabeth and Grover," I said introducing them. "Guy's this is Stephy an old friend of mine, she's a Fury"**

"That's going to freak them out," Athena said shaking her head. I agreed, those poor kids don't know what there in for. Hell we don't know what there in for.

"**Perc, mortals should know about us not," she hissed. I just shook my head as she said that.**

"If he tells her that there demi-gods she'll probably attack them," Hermes said quietly. I knew he was right, but I didn't want them to hurt him, which was ironic considering it was most likely me who sent them.

"**Gods you sound like Reggie, don't worry we hail from demi-world" I said, knowing that she was looking for us. **

"Back the hell up, 'we hail from demi-world'?" Apollo said giggling, which of course set the rest of us off.

"**Crap, you're the son of Poseidon aren't you" she asked tiredly, I nodded. "Dude, I don't know what the fuck you stole from Lord Hades, but give it back otherwise I have to kill you." Stolen from Hades? What the fuck?**

"Someone stole my helm?" I demanded. "Not good, I'm going to be pissed and he's going to… well I don't know but I don't think it's going to be good"

"Let me check" Apollo said, scanning the future. Then his jaw dropped, "Your screwed, and your screwed, and your screwed" he said pointing to each of us individually, "Actually for the time being lets just assume that everybody's fucked." Oh shit I thought.

"**I haven't stolen anything, vow by the Lore," I told her. "Now I need you help, as much as you can give without dying or getting into trouble. She didn't look like she believed me until I vowed by the Lore, it's pretty much the same as swearing by the Styx. **

"Well that clears that up" Hera said, "It would have been really annoying if it hadn't explained properly." Wow, I didn't realise that she was actually capable of sarcasm.

"**Alright, how exactly do we do that?" she said. I motioned for them to come forward and hurriedly whispered the plan in her ear. While Stephy grinned before yelling about where is it, Annabeth turned invisible and grabbed the wheel and slammed the bus into the tunnel wall. **

"Ouch, I pity the passengers" Demeter said. I agreed it was pretty much a wrong time, wrong place scenario.

"**What" the driver said confused, hit the brakes at the other end of the tunnel. My phone text alert chimed and I quickly checked. '_Leave the Nitro 9 and run dearling, love Nix the Ever Knowing' _I hastily complied and made sure everyone was off the bus.**

"Nitro 9?" the room questioned apprehensively. That sounded like explosives, if Ares grin was anything to go by.

"**We need to run," I yelled, making sure the Furies could hear me as well as everybody else. We were five metres away when lightning struck the bus. BOOM! There was only a crater in the road left.**

"Where can I get me some of that?" Hermes asked grinningly. I was not the only person that shuddered at the idea of Hermes owning explosives like that. No, just no.

"**What the fuck was that?" Stephy asked checking on the unconscious furies. I shook my head to clear the ringing.**

"If my daughter is harmed the ringing in you ears will be the least of you problems" Athena growled. I shook my head and continued.

"**Nitro 9, Nitro-glycerine explosion in a can that registers 9 on the Richter scale" I explained matter of factly, "Thank you Ace McShane" I said naming one of the Doctors old companion's who was currently take up residence at Saint Trinians. **

"Ah fuck" Ares said shrinking in his seat.

"Know her?" Aphrodite asked raising her eyebrow.

"Yep, and I owe her money" he said. Damn I thought it was something good, or at least useful.

"**Oh here" Stephy said handing me an envelope, "I don't owe you anything anymore." Well we were about 10 grand better of than we were before. "Have you got a plan?" **

"Yeah go down to the underworld and steal back his Mom" Zeus said. I groaned at the reminder.

"**Nope, no plan, no weapons no back up and something else I don't have…. Anything to lose, scared?" I asked. She shivered.**

"That is so wrong" I murmured and it was, it really, really was.

"**Terrified, I hear Paris is nice this time of year" she said seriously, "Now get out of here." We eyed the waking Furies, turned and with a smile, ran…**

"That's it" I said throwing the book to Apollo.

**Oh my Gods, I'm finally done, sorry about the wait. Year 12 and TAFE is a bit of a bitch, I'll try and update sooner. **


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I own nothing, anything you can pick for something else; well done for spotting it- I don't own it.

Poseidon's P.O.V

My son is friend's with a fury, that is scary, the fact that he scared her… that was beyond scary. She's skipping out of the country because she thins he's going to do Gods knows what. I pity my brothers, and hope he doesn't kill them. If he can kill them, it sad that I assume that he can.

We walked along for as far as I could possibly push Annabeth and Grover, but eventually stopping became imperative. We stopped outside of a shop that sold statues and smelled like burgers, there was a neon sign that Grover translated.

"Dyslexia isn't an excuse," Athena said childishly. I groaned.

"Athena you don't have it so how would you know" I asked, I think there's a quota for logic that she try's to fill everyday with the bar set at enough to drive me insane.

"She's actually right" Apollo says, I raise my eyebrows at him. "One of my sons is Richard Castle" he said naming one of the best-selling novelists in New York. I just shrugged.

"**Aunty Em's Garden emporium" he said, "Guy's I don't have a good feeling about this." I frowned, he was probably right, but Annabeth at the very least need food and there wasn't anywhere else we could go to.**

"That sucks, but if Annabeth needs food why doesn't he?" Hermes said, I didn't want to know because the answer probably isn't good.

"Can we just read" Demeter asked.

"**Come on, it's fine. I can smell burger's" Annabeth insisted. The woman inside was of vaguely Middle Eastern origins. She reminded me of the grandmother in little red riding hood. That meant that I was fairly sure she was going to try and kill us. Particularly Annabeth who she glared at like she wanted to rip her throat out when she thought nobody was looking.**

"If anything bad happens to either of them it is entirely your fault Athena" I spat at her. She just nodded, as we were stared at. Neither one of us explained.

"**Will you delightful children stay for a photo for me please" She asked sweetly, "It's been so long since I've been able to create children statues." We agreed to go after we'd eaten, I moved over to whisper to them.**

"Run for you're lives, run for you're lives, run for you're lives" Athena chanted crossing her fingers whilst giggles broke out. As if any of us would be that lucky, I don't think so.

"**Guys, I think were in trouble, she's way to nice and I don't think she likes you Annabeth" I stopped as she came back. The food didn't smell or taste poisonous, so that wasn't what she was planning. I couldn't work out who she was, I ran through all the Greek monsters I knew, which regrettably wasn't much. Aunty Em, Aunty Em…. Oh! Aunty M! Medusa.**

"What" everybody yelled, we at least they knew why we were freaking out. After muttering and many fear and concerns for their life were uttered logic came. It came in the form of Ares, which to be honest was beyond fucked up.

"The fury left the county and Apollo says _we _are all fuck and you think that Medusa's going to off them?" he said fiddling with a knife. He was right, I guess that it just proved how attached we'd gotten.

"**I can see through this cursed veil very well, I might take it off," she said. Oh dear, she was going to turn us into statues. Damn, now I had to kill her.**

"He really doesn't doubt that he can't does he?" Zeus inquired, "It's just damn, now I have to kill her"

"Neh, good for him" Hestia said, "Medusa's a bitch." It seems so very wrong when she swears I thought to myself.

"**Here, I'll help" I said before turning to Grover and Annabeth, "Medusa, close you're eyes, get ready to run," I hissed. Turning around I moved over to her until I was standing right in front of her. "Hello Medusa" I said smirking I looked at a spot right above her head, making it look like I was looking at her before removing her veil.**

"Clever, if she thinks she can't turn him to stone he'll have the advantage" Artemis said leaning forward in her chair eager to hear Medusa's downfall. She had killed may of her hunters.

"**Hello son of Poseidon" she hissed in my ear, my eyes flitter open and shut, as she try's to catch my gaze. "Can you see me child"**

"Say yes" the entire room yelled in worry and anticipation.

"**Yes" lied, "What do you want?" I asked. She giggled and placed her hand on my cheek. I could here the sound of a car, looking up I saw a truck coming toward us. The only reason she didn't lose her hand.**

"Who the hell's driving the truck?" Hermes said.

"Where'd they even get a truck?" Apollo asked rhetorically, "Anyway on with the story"

"**I was going to make you a statue, but I can't. I will destroy the grey-eyed one, her Mother did this to me because she was jealous, I will kill the grey-eyed one, will you make me kill you to" she ranted. I shook my head a spun out of the way as she was hit by a truck. **

"You know what I think Poseidon and I finally have something that we will admit to agreeing on" Athena said.

"Blessing's all round for the driver of the truck?" I asked smiling.

"Blessing's all round for the driver of the truck" she confirmed and many of our relatives fell of there chairs in amazement.

"**That was great, great demi-god driving Annabeth" Grover said as they stumbled out of **

**the car shakily. I laughed, they were learning.**

"I'd say blessing's for Annabeth, but she's got Percy on her side. Does she really need them?" Hera asked. We all shook our head, she was probably better off then we were.

"**Did I kill her?" Annabeth asked. There was an angry roar, "No, I think I just made her mad." Medusa swung around and went for Annabeth; I drew my sword and flipped it from dangerous to lethal.**

"Okay, I can't take it anymore. How is that thing made?" Hesperus said. The possibility of him kidnapping his sister so she can teach him how she did it, very high.

"**Hey Medusa" I yelled she turned and I swung my sword, "Heads up." Flump, her decapitated body hit the floor. It didn't disappear again.**

"What is with that?" Zeus asked, "That's never happened before." Nobody had the answer.

**We searched through the shop. Finding a shipping address for the Underworld a DOA recording studios LA. Giving us an address, we also cleaned out the cash register, $250 bucks and about 20 drachmas', also a Hermes express mailing envelope system. Which gave me an idea, after I'd asked Annabeth some things. **

"You buy statues from Medusa?" Demeter screeched.

"You daughter wanted them for her garden, would you prefer I didn't give what she wants" he responded. She threw a carrot at him and we all tried not to giggle.

"**Why did Medusa want to kill you so bad, but not me?" I asked her quietly. Sighing she turned to me and thought about how to explain.**

People glare at Athena for creating the menace. She looked down and mumbled an apology.

"**Medusa was you're Dads ex-girlfriend, he brought her to my Mom's temple to make-out. Which was incredibly disrespectful, and Mom turn her into that" she explained, "It's one of the many reasons why our parents hate each other." Hate was not what that story translated to me at all.**

"Oh, yay. There might be somebody who agrees with me," Aphrodite sung.

"You think that Athena and I secretly love each other. I doubt it, and if he does and I can work out how to, he is so grounded" I said shivering.

"**Really because what that said to me is that my Dad likes you're Mom, brought Medusa to her temple to try to make her jealous. She got jealous but instead whatever stupid male idea he had she turned her into a monster" I explained.**

"No" Athena and I yelled while everybody else cackled.

"Now you have to ground him, good luck" Hades said, "I'll see you soon." I groaned, no I do not like Athena.

"**No, she doesn't, and that doesn't make any sense" she protested. I shook my head at her denial. **

"Yes, listen to my daughter" Athena begged through the laughter. I'd given up, it was stupid talking to a book.

"**If she didn't care she would have just killed her, not turned her into a monster with a grudge and a hankering for revenge on her kids" I said, "So it our parent hate each other is that why you hate me?" I asked.**

"Oh dear, I sense a cluster fuck" Ares said sighing, "If you want you're kids to hate each other I doubt it going to happen. That was okay with me the less people that hated my son the better.

"**I don't hate you" she spluttered in denial, "I just… well." She floundered around trying to explain.**

"There's no reason for you not to hate him either" Athena said. She was heavily glared at and cringed in he chair.

"**No you don't hate me yet, but you're trying to" I sighed. "We are our own people, I am not my Dad and you are not you Mom. You're being raciest, and making judgements on people for the way that they are born." This left he baffled and me pissed at my family, there how many centuries old now and behave like children.**

"He's twelve, who is he to call us children" Hera said frustrated, "Even if he has a good point about the racism, we encourage it when he puts it like that."

"I don't think he's twelve, I think he just appears to be" Ares said, once again shivering. Thinking of some of the things he's said I shivered to.

**Which lead me to where I was now, stuffing the separate parts of Medusa's body into a box and attaching it to a shipping statement. **

To the Gods Empire State Building, 600th floor Best wishes, Percy Jackson.

Everybody that wasn't frozen in shock was falling of their thrones laughing.

"Ah, I don't think were going to react well to that" Zeus said, "I'm going to be furious." It would be amusing none the less.

"There going to think you're impertinent" Annabeth said as it disappeared. Grover laughed and shook his head.

"This kid is so far beyond impertinent" Demeter sighed.

"He's growing on us anyway" Artemis sighed. She was right.

"Percy, impertinent? Annabeth wherever did you get that idea? Percy is so far past that its not funny" he teased. We got into the truck, both of them very hesitant about my driving abilities and off we went.

"Where did he learn to drive?" Apollo said. I just sighed, life was never going to be the same.

"Alright, one more chapter and then we should go to bed" I said taking the book and starting to read.

**Another chapter done, I got another flame from my last chapter. Pout-y face. 2 out of 21 isn't bad though? I mean 19 of you liked me? I appreciate the honesty anyway. All comments are welcome.**


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I own nothing that you can pick from any book, TV show or movie; and there are many. Bonus points and spoilers for those that can pick them out, there are four that I remember so far.

Zeus's P.O.V

My twelve-year-old nephew just killed Medusa and mailed us her body. That is just fucked. Not two ways about it, if I told you that I wasn't apprehensive about hearing when I met him I'd be lying. There were so many things about him that I didn't understand. Many of the things that Ares knew about him or where he'd been weren't explained and I got the feeling that we truly didn't want to know.

As much as I liked driving we ditched the truck as soon as we were able to because I refuse to drive around in something that is an almost exact replica of Bella's truck from Twilight. Which brings me to something completely off topic but equally important, don't fuck off immortal witches, they chain you to chairs and make you watch Twilight. Repeatedly. Damn New Orleans Animal house of Witches.

"What the hell" Hades said, "When did he go to New Orleans"

"I'm more concerned with the part were he'd pissed of immortal witches" Poseidon groaned, "What is Twilight?"

"A really bad book about a mortal girl that falls in love with a sparkly vampire" Athena said. Many people shuddered.

**Anyway we were waiting for our train when Annabeth decided that we were going to see the arch. She doubted that she'd ever get the chance to again and looked ready to pitch a fit if she couldn't go.**

"She should be more mature, also they need to get my bolt back… now!" I grumbled.

"Let the girl live a little, when was she going to get to see the arch again" Hermes said, "Anyone want to bet there going to be attacked?" Nobody was stupid enough to take him up on that bet.

"**Look at the structure" she said pointing out random the random things about supports and such. "I'd make the floors see through though and…" on she went. For three hours.**

"Wow, she knows a lot" Apollo said, "I like what she does with Olympus"

"Why does she need to do anything with Olympus" Hera asked. He just shook his head and put his fingers to his mouth.

"Spoilers" he said. I hate when he does that, there couldn't be another person that is that annoying ever.

"**You want to be an architect don't you?" I asked, trying to picture her sitting and drawing all day. On the other side of things she defiantly had the knowledge. I only understood what she was saying was because I was who got sent to tear stuff down, in the I wonder what those metal fragments in that crater are? kind of way.**

"He takes after his Dad then" Athena said spitefully. Damn, now they were going to fight worse than usual to prove that they really don't like each other. Why can't they just pretend to get along.

"**So" she said defensively, "My Mom expects her children to create things, not just tear them down like a certain God of earthquakes." I shrugged my shoulders.**

"He's not going to get mad at that" Artemis asked pensively.

"But she's right" Poseidon said, "So why would he be mad."

"Because boys are stupid," She replied. The Gods would argue with her but the Goddesses would back her up and I don't want her to like boys. The only boy she'd ever been in love with was her twin brother. That turned into a cluster fuck when a couple of magical mortals got jealous, bottom line if she couldn't have him she'd have no man at all. He slept around a lot but no one matched up. But were getting of topic now.

"**Neh, you've got a point on that one, if you ever need someone to help with making it as hard to destroy as possible I'll help out" I offered, trying to be nice. **

"That's sweet, family bonding is always good" Hera said. Demeter and Hades looked at each other and grimaced.

"No, no it's not" they said together.

"**What makes you think that know enough to be any help?" she asked, not scornfully but in genuine curiosity. I then proceeded to tell her every way I could think of to decimate the national monument. She shivered.**

"I wonder how many different ways he came up with," Ares said with a smile.

"They'll never be enough destruction in the world for you will there?" Aphrodite asked. He stopped smiling and shook his head.

"Oh there is, but a little anarchy never hurt anybody" he argued quietly. Ares was so different as we read these books. I wondered if her played up to what we'd thought of him or if he was just really shaken up. I think it's the latter.

"**Okay, let get out of here before you break something" she said, when the guide called for the end of the day. Everybody but a Mom and a six-year-old girl, an old lady, her tiny dog and me were left. Grover said he'd stay but I realised that it would stuff people around more so I told them to go on. The lady stood there running her forked tongue across her lips. Damn. **

"Well I'm disappointed nobody took that bet" Hermes said pouting, much like Poseidon was.

"He's going to go somewhere on this quest and not get attacked right, and you two stop sending monsters" he said sighing the last part directed at Hades and I. I doubted it.

"**If I asked nicely" I said, "Could you not try to kill me?" She laughed, and smirked.**

"No" the entire room chorused. Maybe we should keep him, if we even could. I don't think that we could I wondered if he would stay if we tried.

"**No, I'm still going to kill you, Lord Zeus sent me to, and of course to take back his lightning bolt" she said petting her dog which seemed to be growing. **

"Zeus" Poseidon whined. I sighed.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry I take it back" I said, I wasn't doused in seawater because he knew that I meant it.

"**They are innocents," I said indicating to ranger, the little girl and her Mom. Her dog exploded into full size with a growl. It had the head of a lion and the body of a dog and my head came up to its chin, it was massive.**

"I'm half excited and half scared to see what he's going to do to them," Hestia said. We looked at her funny. "What I can be as violent as everyone else here," she protested at our looks of disbelief.

"**I am Echidna, Mother of monsters I care not for innocents," she said changing also. I decided I like her better as a forked tongued fat lady. **

The entire throne room rang with laughter, if he said that out loud I would have paid to see her face.

"**Isn't that an anteater?" I asked her. She started to rant; I pity the next Australian that comes across her. I indicated to the people to run as she started yelling. When they were gone I pulled a can of Nitro 9 from my pocket and walked toward the balcony.**

"Oh shit, it's the epic explosives again, there fucked" Apollo said.

"Think he's going to kill the dog or the woman" someone asked Ares. Once again we were all turning to Ares for information. It was really, really wrong.

"Dog, then he'll scare the woman, she'll run off and tell people, they'll panic and attack them less' he explained matter of factly.

"**Where do you think you're going?" she said threateningly. I ignored her, her dog ran at me and roared. Bingo, I thought throwing the explosives in his mouth and boom. There was blood, gore and bone fragments flying through the air. Echidna screamed in grief.**

"Told ya" Ares said bored. I just shook my head she wasn't going to be happy about this.

"Nobody argued with you" Artemis said.

"**I didn't steal the lightning bolt and I am tired of people trying to kill me and my friend's for something I haven't done," I said murderously, my voice deathly cold. "This is a warning for everybody, I'm not playing nice anymore. I am done fucking around"**

"Yet another example of the wacky world these book have thrown us into. A world where once again Ares is right" Athena declared. Many people shuddered in acknowledgement, it was kind of wrong.

"Yeah I more worried about the bit where he might not be bluffing about not fucking around anymore, considering were all about to receive a visit from him" Hera informed us.

"Yeah Hera, sister dear, please stop freaking me out" Hades said sighing.

"**You're dead," she said enraged and slightly scared, "You wont leave here." I laughed hollowly, how many people had said that to me? to many.**

"Then how is he still alive?" Hermes said, "How is he sane?"

"Alive yes, but I don't think he's sane" Dionysus answered, "At least that's what he told me remember?" He did so, _'Showing someone you can make them insane doesn't mean nothing to a crazy person' _he might have been bluffing but I don't know for sure.

"**Watch me," I said jumping off the ledge and into the river. I hit the water painlessly and sunk to the bottom of the floor. It was disgusting; somebody needs to clean this up. There were McDonalds wrappers and crap everywhere. **

"Did he just jump of the arch?" Hermes asked baffled.

"Yep" I said examining my fingernails, "After blowing up her massive dog and threatening her within an inch of her life." We are so fucked.

"**Percy" I heard a female voice call, I would have uncapped my sword but she sounded like my Mom. A naiad moved into my vision. "You need to go to the closet beach in LA, you're father asks that you do" she said.**

"She's not going to like this conversation" Poseidon said unhappily, "I hope he doesn't yell at her"

"Were you listening, it said she sounded like his Mom" Aphrodite pointed out. That was affair point, I don't think she survive if he went postal.

"**Why can't he come see me now?" I asked, partly because I wanted to know what she'd say and partly because I knew I was supposed to. I was supposed to be a kid. "If it was so important wouldn't he be here now?"**

"He's good, playing up to peoples expectations" Apollo said, "It makes sure that you have the element of surprise when you need it"

"Brother, you've got to cut this crap out. If you keep saying intelligent thing the worlds going to end" Artemis told him seriously.

"**He wants to be here, but he's not allowed" she said looking like she was going to cry. I wonder how she got stuck with this job. I felt irritated, I thought that if I had children there'd be no way in hell I'd let anybody tell me that I couldn't see them or raise them, like hell. Then again I wasn't a parent so I can't say anything.**

"I hate that he's right but at least he know that he can't say anything," Hera said. Many of us raised our eyebrows at her. "We should treat her children better, we should raise them and take care of them" shame flushed through me.

"Did you daughter kick you're head in when she came and talked to you?" Hades asked. Hera blushed.

"**Look it's fine, I have to go. Time limit and all" I said, she looked upset. "It'll be fine," I said grabbing her hand and squeezing in reassurances before turning and making my way out of the polluted water and onto a floating McDonalds.**

"Wait, pause right there we need to get that dealt with" Poseidon said grabbing his phone and ringing to get someone to clean up the river.

"**Look Mommy he came out of the water, but he isn't wet" a little kid chirped. The Mother didn't even turn just patronized the kid. I hate when that happens, children see so much more than adults do.**

"Does anyone know why that is?" Demeter asked. Everybody shrugged. "Maybe it's because they eat more cereal than adults." Cue the groaning.

"**Percy, you jumped of the arc" Annabeth said half worried, half annoyed, "What the hell?" I smiled, something that when presented with an irate woman, even a mini one is not a good idea. She hit me. Actually I let her hit me, because well girls are sulky and strange when they don't get their own way. Goddess knows why?**

"Hey" all the girls in the room shout. The rest of the guys try not to laugh to escape, oh you know… complete annihilation and certain death.

"**I thought you'd gone to Hades the hard way," Grover said. Actually I thought, that's an idea… or not I realised. My death may be a fixed point in time, which pretty much guarantee's I'll get out of it. Nice to know the Time War was good for something, but Annabeth and Grover's are not.**

"Well that's discouraging, does that mean he knows exactly how he's going to die?" Hestia asked. Ares flinched.

"You need to explain what you know," I told Ares. He shivered.

"If it isn't explained by tomorrow night I'll explain but you really don't want to know" He responded in a dead voice.

"I could just look" Apollo said.

"No" Ares yelled, "Don't, you really don't want to do that." He looked almost terrified for his brother.

"It'll be fine" Apollo said waving away his concern cheerfully. Searching the future, and then he froze, paled, clapped he hands over his ears and screamed, and screamed, and screamed. "No, no, no, no, no. Please make it stop."

"What are you seeing?" somebody whispered. I'd never seen him lose it like that, not that bad.

"Blood, so much blood and hate and genocide. Arcadia, Acintia never enough time but always too much. Help" the last part came out a choked desperate sob. "Please get it out of my head. Please, please make it stop." A woman appeared out of thin air took one look at Apollo swooped gracefully onto the arm of his throne and wrapped her arms around her.

"Shh," she crooned in his ear pulling him close and he didn't even try to take advantage of it, his face buried in her shoulder and his arms wrapped loosely around her waist. Which was when I began to take in her appearance. She had long ebony tresses piled in a bun on top of her head, her skin was whiter than marble and had concentric circular symbols inked lightly on various parts of her body that seemed to move on there own. Her eyes scared me; they were emerald green and filled with all the light and shadows of the universe.

"Who are you?" I asked her as she ran her lightly glowing hand through my sons golden hair. She smiled.

"Family" She said rocking them both back and forth. I raised my eyebrow. "I'm Lyra Jasmine Holmes-Black, daughter of Hera," she stated, many jaws dropped at the fact that we were related to this… being. She had a presence of the Mother of the universe, or the Goddess of Time and Space that we all swear by. "Anything you don't want me to erase just imagine a door and close it," she told Apollo. He nodded and clung tighter.

"Will he be okay?" Artemis asked. She nodded and began to talk nonsensical phrases of reassurance in English, Ancient Greek and a musical sounding language as she reassured him until he lay limply in her arms. She glanced at her wrist in surprise and then fixed her gaze on the floor, looking at a silver charm bracelet on the floor. When she moved to get it Apollo's arms tightened.

"Stay" he whispered burrowing closer. She sighed and pressed a kiss in his hair in a sisterly fashion.

"I promise," she vowed. I got up and picked up the bracelet and fastened it around her wrist. It made her change. Her hair wasn't as dark, nor were there any of the symbols on her skin she looked like and ordinary mortal of about 19 to 23 hugging the God of the sun except for the scar that ran across her throat. "Thank you" she told me as I made my way back to my throne. "Perhaps we should continue reading," she suggested.

"**Nah, super-duper water powers" I said, "It's seemed easier than having it out with the Mother of monsters." Also she'll run her mouth and make people, as Reggie puts it _'A jot lerry' _about attacking us. Which is the point.**

Many of us laughed, but it was mostly hollow nobody had gotten over what happened to Apollo, but he looked happy curled up with his half sister.

"**Crap" Annabeth swore, "We need to get out of here now." I nodded and we made our way to the train station. On the train I'd managed to hack onto the radio and play songs from my ipod. I may have turned the five-hour train ride into a party accidentally.**

"Nice going Kiddo" Lyra said laughing, "He has a knack for that"

"What's that?" Poseidon asked apprehensively. I leaned forward in anticipation of her answer.

"Having fun, and making other people have fun at the most inappropriate moments" she responded with a smile.

**The fifth time I'd played 'Highway to Hell' which is both a cool song and ironic at the moment Annabeth slapped me again. Which lead me to the conclusion that I need to teach her the merits of punching because her backhand sucked. **

"Is anybody else not surprised?" Hermes asked rhetorically. There was a great big synchronized nope that rang through the throne room.

**We found our way to a diner, in which we noticed a problem that I'd been ignoring. The entire country was looking for me. Gabe was on TV telling people that I was a drug-addicted alcoholic that kidnapped my Mom and had become a terrorist. I was going to kill him. **

"Please, please kill him" Poseidon fumed. Lyra snickered.

"Oh, he doesn't have to. Aunt Sally is more than capable of taking care of herself" she explained at our questioning looks.

**But that wasn't the strange bit; the strange bit was the God buying us cheeseburgers. Yeah… and this is my life.**

Poseidon marked the page and set the book down. The throne room cleared out until it was just Lyra, Apollo and I remaining. Moving forward to stand in front of them I ran my fingers through my sons hair. He didn't respond at all…

"I'll take care of him, I promise" she vowed, "Tomorrow morning he'll be as good as new"

"Why would you do that?" I asked, "You're my wife's demi-god child, I don't see myself being kind to you"

"If there is one thing that my Mother and I are alike in it is family" she explain softly, "He is my brother, Half brother, step brother doesn't matter. I take care of my family and I'll tell you a secret. My parents, the original ones were Lady Joanne and Lord Sirius Black, they were married and love each other dearly, and they were witch and wizard. There was a war and Joanne was hit with a curse that rendered her incapable of having children, Mother felt for them and decided that they would raise her child. The only damage done was to her ovaries so she could be a surrogate mother"

"Hera never cheated on me" I whispered in realisation, "What happen to you parents?"

"They died when I was a year old" she answered, "I believe that my Uncles are waiting for you." I knew instantly that she knew, about my… relationship with my brothers and wasn't judging me a single bit. "Go, I'll watch over him tonight." Reluctantly I made my way to my bed where my brothers were waiting for me.

**All done, what do you reckon? Review and tell me what you think. Apollo had a melt down for being nosy and I brought in Lyra. I'll try and update soon. **


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I didn't own anything for the last nine chapters, if I told you again would you care? Time War explanation, mostly enjoy.

Hades P.O.V

I… I had no words to even begin to explain how I felt about everything that just happened. The only thing I wanted to know was where did Percy go? Apollo is my eternally cheerful nephew who can whistle show tune while strolling though the underworld. What could make him like that? and who the hell, no what the hell was Lyra Black. Hera's daughter who looked more like a goddess than any of my family. Perhaps the Goddess, the original one of which came all of time and space.

She sent Zeus over to us. We spent the night with him; Poseidon and I and I felt bad. He and Hera's marriage was falling apart and we weren't helping. I was too selfish to care because we needed him. I slipped out of bed watching my two brothers reach out to the gap where I once was before settling closer together and made my way to the kitchen. _She _was there.

"Don't just stand there, come in. I'm making breakfast before I leave," Lyra said. I noticed, the table was set with people's favourites. I didn't know what to say.

"How is Apollo?" I asked the first question I could think of. She smiled like I was a child who had answered a question correctly. For the first time I realized that she was _old_, not that she looked old she felt it.

"Fine, he wont remember anything about what he saw, other than what he wants to" she says as if this delighted her. "The things he saw… I witnessed them personally, there is no shame in his reaction… not one single bit." I was taken aback as she directed this at me, silently telling me to spread it around.

"I don't doubt it" I responded. She smiled, placed a plate full of bacon and eggs in front of me and kissed me on the check.

"I'd expect you don't. I have to leave but you'll see me soon" she said, "Goodbye Uncle H" I even received a hug before she disappeared. I couldn't help but notice that she said _you'll _be seeing me soon, not _I'll. _Breakfast passed in a blur everyone eating and Apollo, despite being his normal cheery self had a brief moment of disappointment and panic when I told him Lyra had left. After an argument between Ares and Athena, which Ares won we all sat down to listen to him read.

Annabeth, Grover and I were sitting in a diner watching the TV with little disguised contempt, there was a reporter talking to smelly Gabe again. I really had to remember to kill him as he sat there and told people that my Mom was a crack whore.

"He is so dead" Poseidon spat outraged, I dislike the man for calling her that but I couldn't help but feel jealous that Poseidon feels so strongly for her. Zeus caught my eye and gave me a sad smile of understanding.

"I completely agree Uncle" Artemis said venomously, "How dare he treat a maiden like that." It appeared that there was more than Poseidon angry with this. Good.

**Yeah, so not happy, nobody was going to find his body, and if they did it wouldn't be recognisable as human. I mused over different ways of killing him when I heard a Motorbike pull up. A big one, glancing over to the window I looked it over. It looked like the bike that the movie ghost rider wanted but so much better, the bike leather looked like human skin and the gas tank had flames that looked like they were actually moving. I wanted it, and that was before I even saw the Nitro attached.**

"I wonder what I'm doing there?" Ares mused. I wondered as well, on the plus side I might not be the first God we read about getting our ass handed to us.

"I don't know" Athena said, cutting off my train of thought, "Why don't you hurry up and read so we can find out?" Sometimes I wished she'd stayed in Zeus's head… all the time actually.

**The man that was driving the bike had enough muscled enough to make pro-wrestlers beg for mercy and enough weapon's that even I was impressed. Most of them covered up by a leather duster and he was heading this way. I knew who he was the moment I saw his face, he looked like Clarisse.**

"Think he'll call you Clarisse's dad? Rather than the God of War?" Hermes questioned.

"There are worse introductions," Ares said smiling. I was happy he was proud of his children, if not I would have to terrify him within an inch of his immortal life. Considering the girl sounded both sensible and intelligent.

"**Hello Ares" I said as he sat down next to me, instead of letting him squish me against the wall I leaned against the window and swung my legs up to rest on his lap.**

"Damn" Aphrodite said raising her eyebrows, "You got balls kid." She looked impressed; actually a lot of the God's looked impressed at Percy Jackson's daring. Expect Poseidon, who face-palmed… in public. I think I was the only one who noticed.

"**You know who I am little cousin?" He asked, eying me amusedly, I nodded. "You got balls kid." **

"Hey Aphrodite thinks like Ares" Apollo said cheerfully. Many people glared at him… many people.

"**Not really, you look like Clarisse," I said, "What do you want?" he frowned, obviously not used to someone talking back to him so much.**

"Of course not, most people don't want to be incinerated" Hera said inspecting her fingernails lazily.

"Yes" I said, "But this rather seems a bit on the lower scale of his worries." She said nothing, but acknowledged my words with a nod of her head.

"**What makes you think that I want anything?" he asked being overly obnoxious. Oh Goddess, not another one.**

"Not another what?" Zeus asked. I was baffled, maybe Ares reminded him of someone, or something.

"**Don't," I said sighing. He frowned even more. I hoped he wasn't going to pretend he didn't know what was going on.**

"Um, I don't know what's going on" Ares said.

"That's not new," someone muttered. I chuckled.

"**Don't what? Punk" he responded. I looked him in the eye, something wasn't right but I couldn't put my finger on it though. Something wasn't right with Ares.**

"Nothing is ever right with Ares, so what's the kid talking about?" Athena said spitefully. Nobody bothered to say anything; we all knew she was trying for a fight because she didn't get to read.

"**Don't play stupid. I know that you're not, you wouldn't be here if you didn't want anything" I informed him, hoping that Annabeth and Grover didn't catch on. There was a look of sheer surprise on his face for less then a split second before it disappeared. He was a liar, a really, really good liar. **

"That is a really good point. We never talk to demi-gods unless we want something, but I don't see how this makes him a liar," Hermes said. I suppose he'd know, being the God of thieves.

"I don't know why we keep stopping" Apollo practically sang.

"**I suppose you're right little cousin, I want you to go get my shield" he explained, "I left it in a water park a half an hour away from here and I need you to get it for me." My first thought was what could make the War God ask for help from a demi-god, and then I noticed that he was lying again. This was what I was supposed to think. **

"But if this is what he's supposed to think, what is being covered up?" Aphrodite asked. I wasn't the only person who gaped at her. "What are you hiding?" Ares shrugged.

"**What's in it for me" I asked, wondering what his response would be to that, "I'm on the clock already, what makes this worth my time?" He looked at me like he couldn't figure out what made me so defiant, or rather that he could but didn't want to believe it.**

"The second" Ares said, "I don't want to believe it because I don't want it to be real"

"For what to be real?" I ask. I don't understand what he means and it frustrates me.

"You can see war, it's in peoples eyes… and a war as big as the Time War, well it's almost physically there, you saw what it did to Apollo" Ares said.

"Hey, I may not remember what I saw, but" Apollo started angry at being called weak.

"But your lucky to still be sane and functioning, I know what you saw. There is no shame in your reaction" Ares cut him off. There it was again, no shame in his reaction. Lyra said that to, what did it mean…

"**You get to live" he said matter of factly, "You're really not afraid of me are you, you might want to go back where you left you're self preservation and find it again." I rub the shimmering mark on my wrist, remembering where I left my self-preservation. Ares looked at it and paled.**

Ares shut the book and threw it at Athena, to many of the Gods surprise.

"You want to read, take it," he said, "Because if this conversation is going where I think it is then I can't," he said. Nobody said anything; I think we all just finally wanted to know what was going on.

"**Oh" he said, "Arcadia, no wonder you have no fear. Information on you're Mother and a ride as far as Vegas, that's what's in it for you." Oh good he wasn't playing anymore, I was still missing something though and it bothered me. The information about my Mom is what cinched it though I was going.**

"It's sweet, he loves her so much" Hera said, "I wish we had the option of being that close to our children"

"You and me both" I said bitterly. Still I was happy for my nephew while we gods may be crap parents, he had a good Mom. Most demi-gods don't even have that.

"**Alright I'll go, one condition though, give me a lift" I bargained, there were two reasons for this. One, I wanted to see how much he knew about Arcadia and the Time War, two a more selfish reason, I wanted on the bike.**

"The bike is really good" Aphrodite said. I did a double take, I couldn't picture girly-girl Aphrodite on the back of a bike, or even more fucked, driving one. "What I can ride a bike if I want to" she pouted.

"Anyway, moving on" Athena said beginning to read.

"**So wait, you're going alone?" Annabeth said shocked, I thought fast to keep them here, it was safer and I needed that private conversation. **

"I never thought I'd say this but I'm glad for Poseidon's spawn. He is keeping my daughter safe" Athena sighed.

"You're welcome" Poseidon said quietly, Athena just glared at him.

"**Yeah, cause if you guys stay here, get cleaned up and eat we can leave as soon as we get back" I said. The waitress choose this moment to bring our orders over, I grab my small fries and jumping across Ares lap I stand and make my way to the parking lot. I turn in surprise to see Ares pay the waitress. With gold coins, I mentally face-palm.**

"Ares you no better then to pay mortals with gold" Zeus said.

"Yeah but you got to admit that mortals are strange, pay then with money and there happy, give them gold coins and the aren't" He said. He is so stupid.

"**Stop threatening the poor girl and lets go," I said. Grumbling he followed.**

"Treat women with respect" Artemis said shooting an arrow through his shoulder. He didn't even flinch; his head was a place that you couldn't pay me to be right now.

"**Oh come on, don't tell me you don't carry weapons" he whined, "This is the best county since Sparta for it." We were outside by now and he dropped the whinging completely when we were out of earshot. **

"What?" rang out through the throne room, Ares can be mature?

"You can be mature on demand?" Hermes said in an awed voice.

"If this chapter doesn't explain Arcadia I will, it's not a subject to fuck around on" Ares responded.

"**We need to talk cousin," he said seriously handing me a helmet equipped with speakers so we could talk to each other during the trip. I get on the bike behind him.**

"I really don't want my at least partially gay son on a bike with Ares" Poseidon huffed, before laughter broke out destroying the tension. Well done brother, mission accomplished.

"**I completely agree, cousin. If I said Arcadia what would be the first thing that came to mind?" I asked slightly apprehensive to have this conversation with anyone. Let alone a family member I had just met.**

"Badness" Apollo said, "Much, much badness of the non-epic and scarring for life variety."

"**The planet that had three people walk across it and murder everything they came across leaving a single Time Lord as the sole survivor out of six billion" he responded in a half frightened, half dead tone of voice, "Part of the Time War"**

"Oh fuck," I said. There was whispering that evolved into yelling until nobody could be heard.

"Silence" roared Zeus, "That is enough, we need to hear rest of the story before we start this discussion"

"But they said Time Lord" Athena protested, "That could only be…"

"It's not" Ares said, all eyes turned to him, "If it doesn't explain, I will. Just believe me it's not Kronos." Athena reluctantly began to read.

"**Seven billion, eight hundred and seventy-six million, three hundred and ninety-six thousand and one hundred and fourteen" I said darkly. I knew exactly how many had died, I wont ever allow myself to forget, hence the semi transparent tattoo around my wrist that you could only seen in certain light, like oil on water. It commemorated all the lives that were lost and why they had to be in the language of the Time Lords.**

"That many people? That many people died… for what" Hestia said, "TELL ME WHY!" the last part was screamed.

"I don't know" Ares said helplessly.

"That's what I saw" Apollo said deathly quiet, "But the question is how he knew?" I didn't know, nor did I want to, but I got the feeling I was going to find out anyway.

"**You sound so sure of that" he said softly. I chuckled humorously in a haunted manner.**

"Please let him not of seen it?" Poseidon muttered under his breath, fuck. He was getting really bad, but if we comforted him in public he'd never forgive Zeus or I.

"**Of course I'm sure, I walked away" I responded listening to the sound of the bike roaring to keep from getting lost in memories. "The two most feared beings in all of time and space and I walked away." I felt him shiver.**

"No" Poseidon yelled, "My son shouldn't be in situations like that he should be some place safe" the last part came out desperately. Fuck it, I decided taking his hand in mine.

"It'll be fine brother" I said, Zeus took his other hand. His grip was painful but nether of us let go.

"**Why?" he asked, "Why… tell me there was a reason," he practically begged.**

"He may know why" Are said relived. I looked at him like he'd grown a second head.

"Why would you want to know?" Hermes asked.

"Closure" he said, "I saw it, and I want to know why it happened"

"They said that there was only one survivor" Athena said quietly, "That only one Time Lord walked away from it all, how can you have witnessed it?"

"Because you could see the planet being burnt from the ship while it was in orbit around the planet" he said, "Yes, time travel and spaceships are real. You couldn't go down though because somebody had activated quarantine. You could see it though; starting in the city it spread out I three directions. When we got down there everybody was dead, the entire planet had been burnt. I helped check for survivors and all that… the entire planet fell in three days"

"Ah fuck" Zeus said. I agreed, how could three people do so much damage in three days. My hand started bleeding as Poseidon's grip tightened.

"**People from all over time and space stop on Arcadia, it had some of the best hospitality in seven galaxies" I explained, "So they infected the entire capital city and it spread. The people would have passed on the infection till most of the universe was filled with people who turn into Reavers when they die. An undead army that would rip apart the worlds worse than the Time War was."**

"Oh Goddess" Hestia said, "How do you make a choice like that?"

"A choice worthy of Janus" Hera said, "You know reading this I can't tell what's right and what wrong anymore"

"Lyra said it was better like that" Apollo said quietly. I bet that she did, if she was involved in this I would to. I'm the Lord of the dead and I can barely wrap my mind around it. "People hat know for certain tend to be like Kronos"

"**Why couldn't you have just blown up the planet," he said. I laughed because that was exactly what I had said. I'd wanted to blow up the planet to, except…**

"Except what" Zeus said, "It would save all the unnecessary violence." Nobody could bring themselves to begin to formulate a response to that.

"**She didn't want to" I said, "And she made a good point, why should it be that easy? If we could do it there we could do it anywhere and it wouldn't matter. They way that we did it wasn't nice but we'll never forget. It will never be _easy_" I spat the last word out. "It also meant something rather than just countering it by blowing it up, it made people scared to try it again"**

"It is decided, were keeping him," Zeus said. That was rather sudden; my mind was still reeling from Percy Jackson's little impassioned speech.

"Really, just like that?" Hera said hopefully, hell I was hopeful that he meant it.

"Is anyone really going to argue against it" he responded, everybody shook their head.

"How do you propose that we do that?" I asked, "Do you really think that we could keep him here?"

"No" Dionysus sighed, "But you can make it clear that he is welcome here. Does anybody think that it's sad that were all starting to feel for a child that we haven't met yet?"

"I suppose you're right" Poseidon said, "He's changed things already, we aren't the same as we were before reading about my son." His voice was calm even though his grip wasn't. He was taking this harder than most, but I suppose that if this was my son we were reading about so would I.

"**Fair enough" he said, "If I mention the Time War would you know what it is?" We'd stopped by now the water park was a few feet ahead of us. I took off my helmet and turned to look at him.**

"Is this going to be as pleasant as Arcadia's description" Aphrodite asked hesitantly.

"Arcadia is a footnote in the history of the Time War" Ares explained. I shuddered violently, not good.

"**There was a war, a Time War," I said trying to find the words, "The last great Time War, with the Time Lords fighting against the Darlek's with the whole of creation at stake and they'll lose, everyone will lose." My voice sounded dead. **

"That's terrible" Demeter said quietly.

"That's what you meant" Athena said, "It wasn't Kronos because there is more than one Time Lord"

"There was an entire planet full of them" Ares said. Was? I thought questioningly.

"What happen to them all?" Hermes asked tiredly. I felt tired to and it wasn't even 11 o'clock.

"Like the kid said, everybody lost" he explained, "Mass genocide" he added at our confused looks. My throat constricted, Percy said _will _lose, not lost.

"**Don't you mean everyone lost" Ares asked freezing. I smothered the impulse to laugh, I hoped that he'd dropped all pretences of stupidity because if he hadn't I pitied how unobservant my family is.**

"Is there a particular reason you play stupid, or rather he thinks you play stupid?" Apollo asked.

"Because it's easy," Ares said. I just sighed, not what I wanted to know I was more concerned with the first bit.

"**Oh no, I mean lose, I haven't got that far yet" I corrected, lifting my neck and tapping the scar that ran across my neck.**

"Does anyone know what that means?" I asked.

"I don't know" the response came from Athena, if it were any other time somebody would have made a crack about her not knowing something for once, not today though.

"What ever it is I don't think it's good" Hestia said softly, I couldn't help but agree.

"**You have the mark of the damned," he said bowing his head respectfully for a moment. "Only a Time Lord can have that mark." I pulled out my pocket watch and showed it to him, he backed away faster than if I was a Darlek. **

"Are you scared of him Ares" Athena teased.

"Athena what's a third of Seven billion, eight hundred and seventy-six million, three hundred and ninety-six thousand and one hundred and fourteen?" he asked her.

"Two billion, six hundred and twenty-five million, four hundred and sixty-five thousand, three hundred and seventy-one" she answered automatically.

"That's a third of Arcadia, you bet you're fucking ass I'm scared. Tell me you aren't?" Ares said. Athena paled dramatically.

"**Swear you wont tell?" I asked. He just stare mutely at the pocket I had put the watch into, gold flickering in his eyes. There it was again, what was I missing?**

"What's in the watch?" Poseidon asked, Ares pointedly looked anywhere that wasn't him.

"**I swear by the Styx that I wont say anything about this conversation unless were both in agreement that we should" he said, unmoving from his position backed against the bike.**

"You're caving?" Somebody scoffed in disbelief.

"Two billion, six hundred and twenty-five million, four hundred and sixty-five thousand, three hundred and seventy-one" I said in a bored tone. That shut them up. Wait I thought thinking about that number again, "Oh dear, I'm really, really fucked aren't I?"

"Yep" Artemis answered fiddling with her bow.

"**Thank you," I say sincerely, "This place is brilliant isn't it, because some days are special, some days are so blessed, every day in a million days… nobody dies at all. Here those days happen all in a row, I'd forgotten," I mumbled, not entirely sure if I was talking to him or myself. **

"Ah, ain't insanity grand" Dionysus said smiling, "I'll have somebody to talk to"

"That doesn't exactly cheer me up" Poseidon said sighing.

"**It is nice," he murmured back as I made my way into the water park. Some of the lights had been smashed out of the sign the shield was in the tunnel of love ride; there were mirrors everywhere, cupids circling the pool and a trip wire. I debated the pros and cons of stepping on it, before deciding that I couldn't be fucked avoiding traps and I could use the practice. I stepped on it.**

Aphrodite glared at her husband, who just shifted guiltily in his seat, **(Help, I know who Aphrodite's husband is… I just can't spell it.) **"Sorry, I didn't mean if for him"

"It's fine" Poseidon said, "I'm more annoyed with Ares for sending him there." Water doused him instantly.

"**Camera's rolling live to Olympus in 30 seconds" the cupids said firing their arrows over the top of the pool with spider web thin metal string over the top of the pool. Mechanical spiders filling the pool while those stupid statues continued to count down. "10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2,"**

"On the plus side this should be entertaining" Hermes said happily. He was subsequently doused with water as well. Idiot.

"**Oh fuck this," I growled un-holstering my gun and firing off shots at the control keeping the water out of the pool, it crackled with electricity as I jumped into the boat. Whoosh, the pool filled with water and smashed the spiders against the concrete. I had to admit that if you were sneaking around during a date and wanted to be able to see things coming this was the place to be. The mirror showed every possible angle.**

"That is incredibly good strategy" Athena said surprised. I didn't blame her I was surprised to; the one thing that I had learnt from this book was to take nothing for granted. It was ripping my whole world apart but I suppose that it gave me my brothers back. We hadn't been the way we were now for over several centuries.

**But my problems weren't of the 'Oh shit something's chasing me' more of the, 'Ah I'm going to crash and die'. Not fun, I mentally judged when I'd have to jump to get the right amount of force to get over the big black metal gates at the end. Picking up Ares shield and the scarf that was in the bottom of the boat I braced myself to jump when I noticed something. Ares shield had turned from a metal shield, into a compact sonic device with shielding capabilities from the 51st century.**

"Do you think I could go to Venus again if I asked him very nicely?" Aphrodite asked wistfully. I knew she missed the planet she'd been Queen of and her very first demi-god child.

"Maybe" somebody said, "If you're lucky"

"**Nice" I commented, it was one of the good one to, from the factory in the groves of Vilangard, till it blew up and became a banana plantation. The boat approached the gates and I tensed to jump, 3, 2, 1… bang. The boat crashed into the gates and exploded violently (Cough Nitro 9 cough) I vaulted over the top of them. Flicking the force field on I managed to not get hit with any stay projectiles and land on my feet. I looked over at the cameras still rolling in this direction. I was about to say something when my phone went off.**

"Does anybody else have the sneaking suspicion that this is going to be good" Hermes asked.

"If you shut up we might find out," Artemis said grumpily.

"**Ah ha ha, ah ha ha that's all for now folks" the Looney tunes blared for my phone. I laugh and walked away checking the text. _'You're welcome, Love Nix' _what am I going to do with her? Ares was waiting out of range of the cameras about five minutes away. I threw him the shield.**

Everybody started to laugh. I was just happy that the tension was gone. It took five minutes forever one to finally calm down. Which was ridiculous, because it wasn't that funny, but I think we were just holing on to the easy moments.

"**You're welcome, now lets get out of here" I said bored. I had other things that needed doing. He started up the bike and we made our way back. **

"Next" Athena said passing the book to Hermes, who was still giggling.

**I'm about to say something that I swore I'd never say…. OMG, again OMG it' lame but nothing else really nails it. Over 4000 words, an explanation about the Time War, an infusion of Doctor who and Arcadia. I **_**need **_**reviews, did I screw it up, or should I keep writing. Thank-you for the time you spent reading. **


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own, if I did Percy would be gayer, in a good way. I've decided that somewhere in the middle of this chapter we'll take a break from angst, so have a Lotus flower and relax.

Poseidon's P.O.V

Time war, the words swirled vengefully in my head, I didn't know a lot about it but somehow my son was involved. Shivers racked through my body, it sounded worse than hell and I wanted my son to be safe. I wasn't sure, but did I even have a right to care about him this much, I haven't even seen him since he was a baby.

"Does anyone else know" Ares asked quietly on the way back, "About where you've been?" I pondered if I should tell him, sighing I decided I should.

"I'd say good, but he vowed not to tell us. So we wont benefit from the information," Athena said coldly. Sometimes I wish she could just not speak.

"Athena, shut up" Hades said, noticing my irritation.

"**Two other demi-gods, Lyra Black, any version of her over fifteen. Warning about her, she doesn't do things in linear time, the one that belongs in this time is six but her older self likes to visit," I warned, "And Richard Castle"**

"No, no, no, no" Apollo muttered, "Please, please not Rick." I felt for him, Hera and I were probably the only ones to know exactly how he feels.

"**The writer" He said surprised. I nodded; we spent most of the rest of the ride in silence. I think that I might have scared him; well I scared me to most of the time. I still couldn't figure out what was wrong with Ares, and I knew I should have known. Stupid chameleon arch, it scrambled my brain and more importantly my memories.**

"What's a chameleon arch?" Hephaestus asked in wonder.

"Does it really matter right now?" I asked, desperate to get to the part of the story where we didn't hear about any of… _this._

"**Thanks for the help kid" Ares said when we got back to the diner, "There is you're lift." He pointed to a moving van that had _'Humane Kindness International Zoo Transport: WARNING LIVE ANIMALS' _written on it. "Here" he said passing me a backpack I opened it. There was food, money (Mortal and non-mortal) and a bag of double-stuffed Oreos.**

"You gave them double stuffed Oreos?" Hermes asked chuckling.

"Oreos are good" Ares said shrugging, anyway.

"**Thank you Lord Ares" Annabeth said. He smirked; I guess he was just happy to be around somebody with a reasonable fear of incineration. **

"Yes, because Gods forbid anybody become afraid of incineration and certain death" Hera said laughing.

"Did she just crack a joke?" Apollo whispered. I shook my head, idiot.

"**What about my Mom" I asked moving forwards, with Chelsea-like intention. He sighed.**

"Yes" Hermes yelled, "Chelsea-like intentions." We all looked at him in confusion, "Chelsea in my kleptomaniac daughter." A resounding oh made it's way through the throne room.

"**She's not dead," he said. I cursed under my breath obviously she wasn't dead. I was hoping for something a little more helpful and with that he got back on the bike and sped away.**

"Well sorry I wasn't expecting you to know" Ares muttered under his breath. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"**There something wrong with Ares" I said the moment he left.**

"Really, what was you're first clue?" Hephaestus said sarcastically. Nobody bothered to say anything; I personally felt he was entitled to say what he wants about Ares. The man did steal his wife.

"**How do you know?" Grover asked, "Anyway he's gone now it's not like we'll see him again." I laughed; this was going to be amusing.**

"Wonder what he stole?" Hermes asked.

"What makes you think…" Zeus started.

"God of thieves, trust me" he responded, I wasn't the only one who started laughing at that.

"**Sure we will," I said reaching into my pocket. "Cause guesses what I got" **

"If the kid stole one of my weapons I'm a us it to beat the crap out of him" Ares said, nearly everyone in the room glared at him. "Or not" he said hastily, "Or not."

"**What" they asked apprehensively, almost like they didn't want to know. Yay they were getting smarter.**

"Well" Hermes started.

"Shut up" Hestia said, startling us all. "No seriously shut up, cause if Percy is the same Percy I think it is… just read." Well that wasn't cryptic at all.

"**Pockets" I said pulling out the foot long machete that formally belonged to Ares.**

"No way" Ares said, "Not the machete"

"How did that even fit?" I asked startled, it couldn't possibly.

"No, no way" Hestia muttered under her breathe, "Can't be him." I wanted to know where she'd met my son before, and how well she knew him.

"**How did that fit in there," Annabeth said astonished, looking at the small looking pockets in my jeans.**

"Good question niece" Artemis asked dazed.

"**There bigger on the inside" I said smiling and turning around. They had that look; the one Tia was so fond of. The one that said, _'Here we go again' _and made me thankful for the fact I had invested in fireproof clothes. **

"I'm going to fucking kill the bastard" Hestia swore, "You so have some explaining to do Percy"

"I take it that it was the Percy that you knew" Hades asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, remember when I disappeared for three years before we went Roman?" She asked we nodded. "Well that's when I met him," she said, before muttering under her breath, "Time traveller, I can get you back for five minutes ago… bull."

"What's he like?" I asked, wondering desperately what she could tell me about my son.

"He's the most insane, stupid, best, best friend that you could ever have and gay. Really, really gay" she said after a moment, "And when I drag his ass here after the chapter you happen to tell him about the best friend bit I'll kill you"

**Stupid best friend with goddess-like firepowers. Her name was bigger than she was, Hestia… wait a minute, firepower's, claiming to be a goddess, met in Ancient Greece. Fuck, Tia was my Aunt, anyway. **

"Gee thanks" Hestia muttered.

"He is right" Zeus said, "You name is bigger than you are." Idiot, she lobbed a fire ball at him.

"**Why did you steal Ares knife," Grover asked sighing like my main goal in life was to make him suffer. Which secretly, sometimes it was because; one it was funny and two, if he could put up with me for long periods of time he could deal with anything.**

"Nice friend" Aphrodite commented lightly. Nobody said anything.

"**Because, there's something not right with Ares. I don't know what it is but I should…" I said explaining fast, "It's on the tip of my tongue, anyway I steal his machete, he comes back and I figure out what' wrong. Because I have a bad feeling that what ever it is it's not good news for us" **

"I hate it when he gets like that, he connect the most random things and leave you standing there going 'huh' feeling incredibly stupid" Hestia said.

"Really" I asked, soaking up as much information as possible.

"Yep" she sighed.

"**Right I have no idea what you're babbling on about, but we need to leave. Now" Annabeth said pointing to the truck that was about to leave. We climbed in the back of the truck and Grover nearly had an aneurysm. The was a zebra and a lion in the back, both have being giving the wrong food and clearly abused. We agree to free them in Vegas. I know the zebra was happy about that because hey my life wasn't fucked up enough as it was and I could understand him. **

"Stupid humans, don't treat animals like that" Artemis said crossly.

"Yes because hunting them down for fun is so much better," Apollo said sarcastically, she glared at him. "Hunter" he murmured, "It's code for lesbian."

"Yep" Artemis said happily, "Last night my hunters and I had a great big lesbian orgy." We all turned and looked at her startled, "Oh come on, I'm messing with you" she said sighing. Pity.

"**Stupid humans" Grover muttered, I distracted him by asking about hid searchers licence. He told me about Pan, the God of the Wild and how he wanted to find him. He said that nobody had return from a search in two hundred years. I respected his dedication, but I didn't want anything to happen to him. Absently I rubbed the scar on my neck, I didn't say anything to him about suicide missions though, that would have been hypocrisy.**

"I'm going to kill him," Hestia muttered again. My son was talking about suicide missions like they were almost normal, I was going to have a heart attack, fuck immortality.

"**Guys hide" Annabeth said whipping on her cap as the truckers opened the back. Grover crept up behind the second door. Zap. Stun gun, I'm glad he uses it; I gave it to him for his birthday this year.**

"Nice" Dionysus said, "Satyr with backbone, I think we found an endangered species"

"Hey, what's going…" the other guy started, zap. The second one was down. We quickly free the animals and Grover performs some sort of blessing on them so that they could find food and water until they reach there new home.

"Cool, do you think that would work on them" Apollo asked.

"Dear Gods Apollo, how stupid are you?" Athena demanded, "What kind of question is that?"

"Would that work on us?" Annabeth asked hopefully. Grover chuckled.

There was dead silence for a moment before the room rang with laughter.

"No, it' only works on wild animals" He said, "So just Percy." I punched him in the arm.

To bad everyone had calmed down, because we all started to laugh again, it was nice that we were getting to the fun bits of the story.

"Hey play nice G-man," I said, and then we walked past _IT_. The Lotus Casino, Annabeth and Grover wanted to go in. I had a bad feeling about it.

"Why does that place sound familiar?" I asked. Hades wouldn't look at me, I groaned internally; it was going good, we were laughing and everything.

"Well have a Lotus flower if you won't stay then" the man said handing us each a flower made out of sugar. Annabeth and Grover took a bite out there's and I thought what the hell and ate it. It was goodification in a pink sugar flower Annabeth started giggling.

"Hades, where are they?" asked quietly. He fidgeted.

"They might, _might_, almost could possibly be in the lair of the lotus eaters" he said the last bit very fast. I tightened my grip on my brother's hands.

"Hey guys I just remembered why were here," she said, that was good because I didn't.

"Ah, crap it's starting" Hades muttered. People have been doing that a lot this chapter, I don't really understand why. Say what your going to say or don't say anything at all.

"Why are we here?" Grover asked letting out a goat-like noise as we made our way into the casino.

"They probably shouldn't go in there, huh?" Aphrodite asked. I shook my head.

"No" Zeus said amused, bastard.

"To have fun," she said twirling around. She looked so _happy_, we needed to do… something… something important. I just couldn't remember, but they were so happy, really, really happy. I stuck the rest of the flower on my mouth and let it dissolve on my tongue. Oh fuck, cocaine. These people must be rich… they handing out crack flowers to children.

"WHAT!" Hades roared, "Why are they giving cocaine to children?"

"Why does it matter to you?" Demeter asked. I know she hates him for marrying her daughter but doesn't she realise that Persephone had to grow u eventually.

"You're room is 4002, top floor and here are you gaming cards" he said leading us toward the elevator. Annabeth was dancing her way there. "Would you like another Lotus flower?" he said extending the tray. Grover and Annabeth both picked one up.

"No," Athena yelled. Once again I agreed with her, I don't want them to get high.

"No, don't eat those" I said slapping them out of there hands. Why? I found myself thinking, Lotus flowers are good. I want a Lotus flower. No, no bad pink crack flowers, we'll OD if we keep eating them.

"We really shouldn't be laughing" Hera said through giggles. We were once again laughing to the point of tears.

"But why?" Annabeth whined. Honest to God's whined, like a three year old. Everything started to float. Why couldn't they have them… sugar, easy explanation, but what was it? Come on think, think, think, think… oh yes.

"Looks like your daughter has a low tolerance to drugs" Hermes commented through the stifled laughter.

"Diabetic coma Annabeth" I said hoping she was to out of it to complain. They looked at each other grabbed one and stuffed it in their mouth. "Are you high" I demanded, I want crack flower. Then I started giggling, pretty soon we were all giggling.

"Oh dear" I sighed, this was bad, really, really bad… but it was just so funny.

"Yes, yes she is, and so are you" Dionysus said with relish.

"Why are we laughing?" Grover asked. Annabeth started singing. Oh, I knew this one.

"Hermes, please don't sing" somebody asked. He laughed and did it anyway.

"_My friends are in the bathroom getting higher than the empire state,_" we sung together getting in the lift, "_My lover she is waiting for me just across the bar. My seat's been taken by some sunglasses asking about a scar" _

"At least it's a relevant song" Athena said irritated.

"Good song too" Aphrodite commented, Neh, I suppose she was right.

"Enjoy you stay" the man said cryptically. I caught a glance of him out the corner of my eye. Ah fuck, we were in a casino that gave pink crack flowers to children. Ah fuck, said casino was run by big ass praying mantises in disguise. Ah fuck, Grover was singing Hannah Montana. Ah fuck, WHY WAS ANNABETH TAKING OFF HER CLOTHES?

The laughter that had been steadily building up reached a crescendo when Athena screeched "Annabeth, what… Annabeth"

"No, no, no, Annabeth, that's bad" I said re-doing the buttons on her top. She pouted, and tried to take them of again. "No, in the hotel room you can take those off"

"You're sure he's gay?" Athena said turning to Hestia.

"This is a bit difficult o explain" she said, "Percy grew up, when I met him he looked like he was in his twenties and then I guess they de-aged him, because none of this had happened yet"

"What does that have to do with weather he's gay or not?" Aphrodite asked.

"It doesn't it just makes sure you don't get grossed out when I tell you that I've walked in on him multiple times being fucked seven ways to Sunday by various exceedingly gorgeous men" she explained matter of factly.

"Oh, so definitely Gay then" Athena said.

"We talked about it once, he said that he prefers to be the fuckee rather than the fucker" she said, "Doesn't get gayer than that." a testament to how fucked up our family is, this information didn't mentally scar me at all.

"But there smelly" she said dragging out the last word, "And I'm dirty and I wanna bath." Note to self; Annabeth + Cocaine = funny stubborn crack-head and a bit not good. She'd drown herself in the bathtub and that was… bad. It was bad right? Bad means not good, right?

"He's doing rather well for someone who's unknowingly taken cocaine" Dionysus said through laughter. Athena had her head in her hands and was groaning.

"Have a shower," I said as she completely stripped of a soon as the door was shut. She'd turned the taps in the bath and tripped over her own underwear when I followed her in.

"I wonder what would happen if we drugged Athena?" Hades wondered.

"No" Zeus said firmly.

"But" I started he just looked at me. Damn, that could have been so much fun.

"Ouch" she hissed taking her hand out from under the water, "It's hot, and it's not staying in there." She pointed to where the water was going down the drain. I sighed put the plug in, fixed the water temperature and filled it with bubbles so I couldn't see her naked anymore.

"Thank you" Athena said fervently. Everybody trying to stifle there laughter because it must be horrible to be her. At least Percy is semi-aware of what he's doing.

"Can you wash your hair?" I asked. She picked up the conditioner, I sighed again and picked up the shampoo. Annabeth started humming as I rinsed out her hair and stuck in the conditioner, finding a comb and running it through her hand. I peeked out to check on Grover. He was watching the discovery channel.

"That was nice" Aphrodite said smiling, "Why can't all guys be like that?"

"Because then the entire world would be filled with gay men" Ares said.

"That's fine, I'll just join Artemis's band of lesbians" she retorted. Cue laughter.

"_You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals so lets do it like they do on the discovery channel. Do it again now, you and me baby ain't nothing but mammals so lets do it like they do on the discovery channel,"_ Annabeth sung standing up and dancing around naked. If I wasn't sure I was gay before I knew I was now.

"How old is she again?" Hermes asked thoughtfully. A book collided with his head.

"Twelve, paedophile" Athena said.

"Come here" I said wrapping a towel around her. 20 minutes later Annabeth was sitting on the couch dried, dressed, with braided hair and watching discovery channel randomly breaking out into song with Grover while I showered.

"That's nice that he's taking care of them" Hera said, "That's exactly how family should act"

"Percy we saved you one" I heard yelled out from the bathroom. I came out and saw a giant tray with a single lotus flower sitting there.

"Your daughter has an addictive personality," Dionysus said to Athena.

"She does not," Athena screeched. I winced at the sound; I would have anyway though because it hard to hear that you're child's not perfect, especially for a perfectionist like Athena.

"Annabeth how many did you eat?" I asked apprehensively. She giggled.

"She still conscious, it can't be that bad" Zeus reassured her. She just sighed in response.

"I can say with certainty that it was a multiple of three higher than or equal to twelve… Grover didn't want anyone… anymore" she said dancing. Oh fuck. I picked up my mobile to ring a friend of mine, and former cocaine addict.

"Oh dear, she's not OD-ing?" Athena asked desperately.

"No, he probably just wants some help to bring her down" I said dismissively, "The point is to trap them, not kill them"

"Hello, Sherlock, if a twelve year old ate about sixteen crack flowers how do I de-crack-a-fy them?" I asked. "_Just wait it out, do tell me where they give out 'crack flowers' to children" _he asked suspiciously. "Vegas" I responded. "_Ah, Lotus casino? I'm not allowed back in there" _he responded. We spent a few more minutes talking; he's a Consulting Detective. Only one in the world, he invented the job, according to him when the police are out of there depth, which is always, they consult him. He a genius, he's working on a murder double suicide.

"Well that explains who Sherlock is," Ares said quietly, I was surprised he remembered that far back.

"I want to know how my son met a Consulting Detective?" I asked. No, really… I want to know where he meets these people.

"Sherlock is one of Lyra's adopted fathers" Apollo explained, "Or will be, it's all very confusing"

"Percy, can we go play," Annabeth begged. I laughed; she looked so adorable if I reminded her about this later she's going to gut me with her knife. We need to leave… we need to go do… I sighed in frustration. I nodded; she smiled happily, hugged me and ran downstairs with Grover. It could wait I decided they could have fun… and be happy.

"I wish he'd stop being drugged and remember that he needs to go get my bolt" Zeus complained.

"He's more concerned with the happiness of his family members" Hera said scathingly.

Things began to blur together. I kept an eye on Annabeth and Grover, spent a bunch of time with a kid by the name of Nico Di Angelo…

"Hades" Zeus complained, most people would expect anger but now… we were so sick of fighting.

"I couldn't just let you kill them, what would you have done?" Hades said. Nobody argued, because we would have done the same thing.

Who need swimming lessons and playing shooting games and laser tag. There was this one guy who was almost unbeatable his name was Alex.

"At least he's having fun" I sighed, people started looking at me funnily.

"I took you knife," I told him; I didn't know whom he was but I'd stolen his knife, no machete. I went to check on Grover and Annabeth, Grover was playing the reverse hunting games where the animals shoot the hunters and Annabeth was playing some sort of version of the Sims, architect edition.

"I like it better when she's playing games" Athena said smiling.

"Yeah, Percy does to" Hestia said. Athena glared at her, before cringing at the one that Hestia returned.

"You're running out of time" Alex said, while we played laser tag. Did he mean that he thought he was going to win or that I was running out of time to do… what ever it is we were doing.

"Saving my lightning bolt" Zeus yelled.

"I know you're desperate Zeus, but you're yelling at a book. He can't hear you" Demeter said. He threw her a filthy look.

"I know" I decided that he'd been talking about what I was supposed to be doing because he had no cover to hide behind. The lights on his vest went out as I shot him. "But there so happy… they deserve happiness" I said.

"If I thought that it would help I'd bless him right here, right now" Hera said.

"Why?" Somebody asked.

"Because the most important thing to him, despite him not being in his right mind is the happiness of his family" she said.

"Do you even remember what you looking for?" he asked. The song changed ACDC thunderstruck. Oh, my eyes widened… lightning bolt. Alex was Ares.

"Cha-ching, give the boy a prize" Apollo said. Idiot, I sighed.

"Yeah, I got to go," I said pulling his knife out and tossing it to him, "Thanks Ares." With that I made my way over to Annabeth who'd been engrossed in her architect game. "Annabeth we've got to leave, now" I said frantically pulling her away from the game. The casino staff had started looking at us, we didn't have much time.

"They'll be fine" Hestia said, "Trust me, it's time to run, and Percy learnt running from the man who knows best"

"And who would that be?" I asked her.

"The Doctor" she said simply, refusing to say anymore.

"Percy, I'd just got the towers aligned, what do you think you're doing?" she said struggling to get back to her game. Yeah they definitely knew something was up.

"That's not good, how are they going to get out if her can't snap them out of it" Athena said. Hermes started laughing, obviously having read ahead.

"Spiders Annabeth" I said, shamelessly exploiting her fear, "Big large hair spiders." She snapped right out of it then.

"It wasn't the nicest way to snap her out of it, but I bet that it worked" Aphrodite said chuckling. I bet that it did.

"Oh Gods" She said dazed, but herself, "How long have we been here?" I tried to remember but it just seemed like a few ours, couldn't have been more than a few hours.

"I doubt it, if time seemed like it was moving forward then people would wonder why they weren't aging" Artemis said.

"No time we need to get Grover," I said as we ran from the casino worker that were turning into monsters. "Car" I said pulling them in the direction of the black Ferrari sitting on display, piling into the car I drove us out the glass doors of the casino after a few frantic moments looking for the keys.

"Come on, come one, come on" Athena and I chanted.

"Can he even drive that?" Apollo asked absently, sometime I think that he's permanently absent sometimes.

"Five days" Annabeth choked out, looking at the date on the sign, "We were in there for five days"

"How long were they on there quest for" somebody asked.

"I don't know, I don't think it said" Demeter said.

"It felt like hours" Grover whispered, "We've only got one day left" I smiled.

"Oh dear, I hope they complete the quest, can you imagine the tantrum you'd throw if they don't" I said.

"Hey" he demanded. I just looked at him. "Fine, so it would be bad" He said huffily, I'd have to make it up to him later. I had to stifle a grin at how I'd do it though.

"I can get us there in four hours" I said putting my foot down, "Maybe three, how do you feel about police chases?"

"And that's it" Hermes said, passing over the book to Hera.

"Wait a minute, sister dear. I still need to drag Percy's sorry ass here and kick it to the sun, around and back" Hestia said.

"I thought you said that none of this had happen to him yet?" I asked confused. The vicious smirk on her face made me sure I'd never cross her if I valued my life.

"He'll just assume it's for something he hasn't done yet," she said evilly.

4408 words for you, sorry it took so long. Anyway I hope this chapter was more fun. Remember to review; I'll give you a Lotus flower… or a cookie if drugs are not you thing. Thanks for reading.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer; I own nothing, except my triple cheeseburger and you can't have that. The Gods finally meet Percy, dun-dun-da.

Zeus's P.O.V

That was one of the funnier chapters and for that I was grateful, it was better than the chapter before. I was a little more nervous about what was going to happen next. We were going to meet Percy Jackson… and I don't know if this was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Percy Jackson you will get you ass here right now" Hestia said threateningly into her phone. There was a pause while the person on the other end spoke before she said, "Time War… get here now." There was a flash of light and a man about twenty years old stood in front of Hestia.

"Hello Tia" he said, he was middle height, black hair, green eyes and looked like Poseidon. Which is to say gorgeous. Percy Jackson, Hestia sprung up and hugged him, threw a fireball at him that didn't seem to do anything to him and hugged him again.

"You stupid idiot, why didn't you ever tell me about the Time War?" she whispered, "You're my best friend, you had to know I'd have your back." He tightened his grip on her.

"Oh Tia, the things I've seen… I wouldn't drag anyone into that" he whispered, "Not of my own free will. Now I think you family are staring at us, so you better introduce me to them and Tia, how did you find out about the Time War?"

"The book" Hestia said giving it to him, "It's the future… its you're future." He placed it on the table frowning.

"Spoiler's Tia" he told her, "I don't want to know… think about it would you want to know exactly what was coming for you?" He sounded so serious before his face spilt into a grin, "Nah, bit like watching the movie before reading book" he said cheerfully.

"If my life were as much of a cluster fuck as yours probably not" Hestia said matter of factly, "You still need to explain about it though."

"Explain my life to random strangers darling?" he looked at us and then sighed, "Their not random strangers are they, sometime I hate time travel." His tone of voice could only be described as darkly amused.

"Nope, so spill" she demanded. He sighed but gave in, I would have to Hestia is really stubborn when she wants to be.

"I indulged in time travel, got separated from my designated driver, wound up on another planet, accidentally ended up fighting in the biggest war… ever" he recited dutifully with a grin. "Now, not that it's lovely to see you but I left my daughter on her own and if I don't get back she'll break into my lab"

"You… you have a daughter?" Poseidon question with a smile. Percy turned to face him rummaging around in his pockets for a something. His am disappeared into the tiny looking pockets up to above the elbow.

"Bigger on the inside" he said smiling, Athena's eyes narrowed.

"How?" she demanded impatiently.

"Oh, easy just take the parameters of your basic volume space, fold the spatial matrices in on itself and use a standard sonic pulse to loop the signal back into the neuron flow and reverse the polarity" he explained, "Simple. Ah, here it is." He threw a photo of a five to seven-year-old girl at Poseidon as Athena stared at him blankly, having not understood a word he'd said.

"Cute" he said looking at the photo of his granddaughter, who admittedly was adorable, actually she look a little like… I shook myself, it didn't matter.

"She's six, her name is full name is Rhealandovolrani Sally-Ann Grace Jackson. Everyone just calls her Rani though," he said with pride, "She's a genius, and my lab only has a billion combination lock. Plus if her Mother gets home and I'm not there" he shuddered, "Not good, at all"

"I thought you were gay" Aphrodite questioned, actually she had a great point. He turned a bit green.

"I slept with her once" he said looking significantly traumatised, "The fate of the whole of Time and Space rested on it and if it did again I wouldn't make the same decision. I think girls are wonderful, I really do. They can be funny, beautiful and amazing but having sex with a woman is just.. Ew. They all soft and squishy in random places and expect you to do all the work and put you're… and it all slimy… and wrong… really, really fucking wrong and yuck"

The stifled laughter that had been threatening to emerge as he spoke erupted around the throne room as he got further and further along in his speech. I had tears rolling down my face I was laughing so hard.

"Stop laughing at my pain would you" he demanded looking disturbed. "Right, so bad, bad, bad, bad experience, equalled a daughter of which I love and the equivalent of a platonic wife of which I also love in a non-sexual way. Now I'm going home, finding a babysitter and then having lots and lots of gay sex with my sometimes mostly straight but can't make up his mind boyfriend Rick to deal with the horrible trauma I just re-visited."

"Rick Castle?" Apollo questioned curiously.

"Yep, nice meeting you all" he said, and with that he disappeared. All I could think is how the hell could someone that happy-go-lucky have killed anyone.

"Right," I said once we'd calmed down half an hour later, "We should start reading again"

The car ride was the most fun I'd had in ages, what with the police chase and all. I suppose the only downer was the conversation I bad with Annabeth about her attachment with the Lotus flowers. I'd seen Sherlock get cocaine out of his system enough to know that she'd had an addictive personality and what it could do to her.

"You know hearing his stance on women makes me happier about him seeing my daughter naked" Athena said smirking. Causing everyone else to giggle.

"Yeah, doesn't help my son any" Apollo said, "Lucky bastard, because Percy is gorgeous." There were many agreements to that, hell I'd defiantly have a go with that.

"That my son" Poseidon groaned.

"And if this were a different family that might have meant something brother," Hades said, "Tell me you wouldn't go there"

"I hate it when you're right" he muttered childishly.

"**You want more Lotus flowers, don't you?" I asked quietly while Grover caught up on sleep. She frowned and bit her lip apprehensively. **

"My daughter has a cocaine problem at twelve" Athena muttered. Nobody said anything as we all like breathing.

"**Yes" she said finally, "I don't know why though, there just…" she trailed off. I sighed I didn't exactly know what to say. **

"I'd hope my son wouldn't know what to say to cocaine addicts, but then there was that Sherlock person" Poseidon said tiredly.

"I know what to say to cocaine addicts" Dionysus said quietly. We all looked at him expectantly, "Have a Lotus flower" he said with a grin drawing chuckles and sighs. It seems the infectious good mood Percy left us in was determined to stay.

"**They… they were filled with cocaine" I admitted unwillingly, "It seems like you have an addictive personality." She froze then shivered.**

"Like all eleven year olds who realise that they have a drug problem because their local casino laces the signature dish with crack" Artemis said, "That is a horrible way to treat a girl"

"**I don't…" she started, "This is so wrong, you just told me there filled with cocaine, so why do I want one still." She looked so small when she said that, she really couldn't understand why she still wanted it.**

"Obviously" Ares said in a bored tone that I hadn't quiet heard him use before.

"Ares, shut up" Hermes said smiling.

"**There's just something in your biological make-up that makes you more susceptible to stuff like that" I said, I wasn't exactly lying, in wasn't the entire truth. That was the end of the conversation as the police had caught up with us. **

"Saved by the police chase" Apollo said cheerfully.

"I've done that before" Hestia chimed. Before we found out about Percy being her friend I would have wondered where the fuck that would have happened.

**Dawn had hit by the time we hit the Santa Monica beach. We dumped the smashed up car a few blocks away. Such a shame, I made a note to buy a Ferrari one day and have the Saint T's girls do some work on it. Anyway we were here to see what Dad wanted, if he didn't send someone else to see me… again.**

"You can't send someone to go see him" I sighed. Poseidon just smirked.

"Yes I can, you made sure there was a loop hole when you wrote that law" he said amused. Damn, so I did… but I suppose that it wasn't like I wanted him to die.

"**You really drew the short straw out of the lot" I commented to the naiad that met me, she was the same one that I'd me in the Mississippi river. "What did you do that was so bad that you were sent to meet me? Twice" **

"I don't think she considers it a bad thing" Demeter comments dubiously. No, I thought chuckling I don't think that she did.

"**It's considered an honour" the women said, this woman had to be the most non-sluttish nymph I'd ever met. Not that that was saying much, but still she looked positively virtuous. It was fucking creepy, I suppose I was only used to the ones that blended in with the prostitutes in the French Quarter. What with their gauzy skirts, the walking around topless with body paint and the predilection for starting orgies… yeah bit sluttish.**

"Don't even think about it" Hera said to me. I frowned.

"I wasn't," I whined, this marriage was just getting to hard. I tried to remember why we kept trying to make it work.

"Neither am I" Aphrodite said with an impish grin, "When's our next break?"

"**Well you got ripped off," I said shrugging, "You wanted me here?" I questioned her because as nice as she was I don't think I was here for conversation.**

"No I probably got her to go and give you something useful" Poseidon said, trying to figure out his future self's motive.

"**To give you these" she said holding out three pearls, "What ever comes from the sea must eventually return to it, step on them and it will take you out of the underworld." I took them, it was a plus that I didn't have to worry about exposing my handy portable portals and dear Goddess I have to come up with s better name for them. **

"Yes," Apollo said while Hades groaned, "Yes you do"

"I'm fucked" Hades muttered, "This is not good"

"Nope, I shall be so, so sorry at your death brother dear" Demeter gasped with fake tears and an unhidden lavish smirk.

"**Thank you," I said in a last ditch effort at politeness, it was mostly habit.**

"Defiantly on of his better habits" Hestia said.

"What's on of his worse?" I asked out of curiosity, she looked a Hades and smiled like the little angel we all believed her to be.

"Killing and/or annihilating those that hurt or _kidnap _the people he cares about" she said sweetly. I stifled a laugh as Hade cursed his kidnapping tendencies.

"**You also need to remember don't trust the gifts" she said before disappearing. Well, I thought to myself that wasn't cryptic at all. I hope she didn't just give me gifts, warn me against them so I would assume that she was talking about something else and then I'll use them and land in the world of ouch. I hate it when that happens.**

"Yeah, um… did that make sense to anybody else?" Apollo asked. Artemis just face-palmed.

"Idiot" she muttered.

"**So what did your Dad want?" Grover asked out of sheer curiosity. I ponder what to tell him because I actually wasn't sure what he wanted. **

"To do something that will keep you alive and hopefully make you like me" Poseidon sighed.

"Look at it like this, he hasn't met you yet so it's not definite that he doesn't like you" I reassured him. He gave me a smile that meant great things for me… later.

"**Not sure, I got given these by the Naiad from the arch, there supposed to take us somewhere safe if we need, just put them on the floor and crush them" I explained, "She also said not to trust the gifts, but we need to move" **

"Why?" Hermes asked frowning.

"Because there running out of time idiot" Athena said irritated.

"Oh chill out, I was just wondering if it was time for the chapterly attack by monsters yet" he said looking at Athena with distain. She looked taken aback.

"**Yeah," Annabeth said agreeing, "The sun is coming up." We made our way towards DOA studios using the GPS on my phone, dear Gods I love my phone, it's got sat-nave for most of time and space, plus it correlates to where ever I am on arrival.**

"Oooh" resounded throughout the throne room before we all bushed and started laughing at how childish we all sounded.

"**Crap" I heard Annabeth swear. Ah, the people that had been following us for the last two blocks had surrounded us. I sighed in irritation, it was a gang of fifteen to seventeen year olds that reminded me of some of the kids at Yancy. Rich kids with parental issues that want to play at being bad.**

"Well at lest it isn't monsters this chapter" Apollo said brightly.

"Yeah, but the longer it takes them to get to me the happier I am" Hades said nervously.

"**Shouldn't kiddies be in bed?" one of them said pulling a rather expensive and crappy pocketknife out of the pocket. The others retrieving weapons and holding them up threateningly, now this may frighten most people. **

"Then it's a good thing that his not most people" Dionysus said. Poseidon was still in parental freak-out mode anyway. I smirked at him.

"Oh just wait, turnabout will get you eventually" he murmured. I doubted it my daughter was a tree. A fucking TREE.

**Then again most people haven't been where I've been nor have the grown up around Witches, Valkyries, Werewolves, Demons, Vampires, Goddesses and other assorted immortal groups of danger and fun.**

"Danger and fun, I like it" Ares said with a bloodthirsty smirk, "What, it's probably something that's keeping him alive, don't freak out about it." Regardless of the fact that only Hades and I could tell, Poseidon wasn't listening.

"**Idiots" I mutter checking my pockets for my gun. Raising it I let off a couple of shots before pointing it at the leader. "Run," I told warned them darkly, "Run now." They were gone before I could even get finish saying now.**

"Where did he get a gun?" Poseidon asked. Whilst Aphrodite sighed.

"Such a shame he isn't 90/10 on the Kinsey scale," she said there were baffled looks, "90% gay, 10% straight." Many of the Goddesses in the room agreed, my wife included.

"**Percy, where did you get a gun?" Annabeth asked apprehensively. I laughed and made my way out of the ally. **

"It was rhetorical, I take it back" Poseidon groaned at the giggles of everyone else. Ah, they thought he was faking.

"**Stephy gave it to me for my seventh birthday" I informed them cheerfully, stopping in front of the recording studio and laughing at the sign. _No lawyers, no loitering, no living._**

"A Fury gave him a gun… at age seven" Athena said incredulously. There was a moment of sheer silence before,

"Awesome" rang around the room. _Di immortals _we were easily amused.

"Of course, the Fury gave him a deadly birthday gift" Annabeth muttered under her breath. I repressed the urge to keep laughing as we walked in to the dead filled room. Sitting at the counter across the room was a man in an Armani suit.

"I wonder if they have to bribe him" Hermes said jokingly.

"If he lets him in that easily he is so fired" Hades said genuinely scared.

"**Hello" I said, "We'd like to go to the Underworld." The man smiled happily.**

"That must make a nice change" Hera said absently.

"That's refreshing. There all no, you must have made a mistake, I can't be dead," he said cheerfully, "How did you die?"

"Oh dear" Hestia said grinning in amusement, "Here we go again."

"**Got into a bar fight with a Fury" I lied with a grin, "but we won. Hey does that say Chiron?"**

"Busted" Hermes said, we looked at him funny, "I assumed that was why you hired him, because he's crap at the actual job. Half-bloods will always see Chiron, and tip you off that there coming." Well that was insightful.

"**No, do I look like I'm half horse mate? It says Charon, say it with me CARE-ON" he said, we dutifully repeated after him. "Good, now how exactly do you figure you won the fight as you three are dead?"**

"Oh, didn't think that far ahead, did they?" Athena sighed questioningly.

"**So is she, now can we go?" I asked. He looked at us for a moment before a look of realisation crossed his face.**

"See, told you there busted" Hermes said triumphantly.

"Nobody disagreed brother" Apollo said causing Hermes to pout.

"**Tell me lad, are you dyslexic?" he asked, I shook my head. "I think you are, your Half-bloods." Oh crap.**

"I think that just about covers it" I said smiling in antici… pation (LOL, Rocky Horror, couldn't resist)

"**Nope were dead," I said flippantly trying to by some time. He just stood there and raised his eyebrow. "Alright so were Half-bloods sneaking in, does it matter to you?"**

"Because if I find out he let you in I'll make him wish he wasn't immortal" Hades said.

"Your not usually so hard on Charon" Artemis commented.

"He's not usually so sure he's going to die" Hestia replied, "If he leaves you unharmed I'll sleep with Aphrodite"

"Really" Aphrodite said brightly, there was a moment of silent horror and contemplation. "Suckers, you're all so gullible"

"**Yep, the living are not permitted" he said before muttering darkly, "They don't pay me enough for this." **

"I pay you plenty you money hungry bastard" Hades said, I was happy someone started reading before he could rant properly.

"**No I don't think they do, if you let me through I could mention a pay rise to Hades for you" I said, he looked tempted. "Oh and I'll have to do _something _with these drachmae's there simply way to heavy to carry around"**

"And there in" I said, "Were never seeing Hades again"

"Good" Demeter sniffed, "Daughter stealer." If Poseidon hadn't grabbed my hand would have slapped the bitch… sisters.

"**I could take some of those off you hands and you could go on you merry little way" he said inviting, his eyes riveted to the gold coins.**

"No dice, it was nice that he at least tried" Apollo said, trying to stop Hades from popping a blood vessel. It's a good thing Gods can't get aneurisms otherwise I'd be a lover short. Pout-y face.

"**Or you could let us through and I could give you all of them" I counter, building gold towers on the desk. He caved in under a fifth of a second. Literally, somehow I could tell.**

"Ares" Poseidon started.

"Nope" He said, "Not going there, no way, no how"

"**Alight then, what's three more then, get in the boat" he said, "If anyone changes the station from my easy listening station again you'll be here for another thousand years." I placed another handful of coins on his desk.**

"Why'd he do that?" Athena asked baffled. Ah, my daughter not understanding things and being wrong… I love this book.

"If you'd shut up, we'd find out" Dionysus snapped.

"**I said I'd give all of them," I said with a shrug. I was lying, that wasn't all of them but it would probably help if I had to come through this way again. Plus he looked like I'd just made his millennium. **

"You probably did" Hermes said laughing.

"**Thanks" he said numbly. **

"Wait a minute, wait a minute, did he just say thank you" Hades asked baffled. I nodded, "Damn"

"**No problems, hey is that Armani?" I asked. After that I concluded that I need more male friends, I could talk fashion way to easily and _Annabeth_, the _girl _wasn't keeping up with the conversation. After that we started talking movies and music, well not movies, just Johnny Depp. Charon was gay too and was Grover or Annabeth paying attention to that conversation they'd bypass red blush and head straight to purple.**

"Oooh," Aphrodite squealed, "I really need to have a proper conversation with him"

"Yeah, Aphrodite he could probably tell you the name of every lipstick or nail polish you own and what's coming in style before it actually does, you'll probably kidnap him" Hestia said laughing.

"**Come again" he said letting us off, "No, really, come visit me again"**

"Not only does he let him in, he invites him back… if I die in the book I'm going to incinerate Charon" Hades said almost, _almost _pouting.

"**Sure" I promised, and I would. I had fun, was still having fun actually. Grover and Annabeth were clinging onto each other's hands. **

"He has issues" Athena said blandly, "Many, many issues"

"**You have issues" Annabeth said, "Not an experience I'd repeat." When we made our way through what appeared to be a wheat field in Kansas I knew Hades didn't do it. When we hit the hellish part of the underworld it was like something clicked back into place.**

"Why do you think he thinks that Hades is innocent?" I asked Hestia. I figured that she'd know best.

"Not a clue, it could be anything, any tiny insignificant thing" she said wistfully.

**There was screaming ringing through the air, it was hot, the air smelled like burning flesh, horrors that most people could scarcely imagine casually strolling around and I felt relived. Ares backpack had started to feel heavier for some odd reason. **

"I don't understand, how does that make him feel relived?" Aphrodite asked breathlessly.

"Because" Are huffed in a tone that practically screamed idiot, "Everything's back to normal for him, isn't it"

Things were back to normal, back to something I could understand because walking through here was like being at home, being back in the Time War. Except on a really, really, really good day.

"Fuck me" Hades gapped, "Did he just say really, really, really good day?"

"Yep" Hermes said blankly. I shivered, and he thought this was home?

"**You don't ever get scared, do you" Annabeth accused in a frightened voice, "How can you not be scared."**

"Cause the underworld is angel cake" Ares scoffed, "You heard about Arcadia, that's a _footnote_, what do you think some of the real stuff is like?"

"I believe we've been through that, badness, much, much badness" Apollo said seriously.

"**Of this?" I scoffed looking around; it's a good thing I didn't want to do bad things like destroy the world or become a serial killer because this would do nothing to deter me. "How is this scary? I don't understand?" **

"Now there's a frightening thought" I murmured, "Do you really think he doesn't…"

"No I don't think he doesn't understand, I know he doesn't" Hestia said, "This is probably all shits and giggles to him"

"**Of course you don't" Grover said in amusement. I really didn't though this was easy, for me this was normal. Then I stopped dead, a tiny flickering of _something _on the edge of my mind. Running I made my way straight to it.**

"Oh, Percy" Hestia groaned, "Not everyone is as good a not dying in places of certain death." Poseidon was holding my hand again… score.

"**Percy, Percy where are you going" Annabeth called as they ran after me. I didn't slow down till I stopped in front on a giant pit. There was a presence there a presence that I knew, one I pitied and _despised_. Except I didn't know why I did. **

"Gah, what's he doing there," Poseidon groaned, "No, bad Percy, stay away from your grandfather." I know that this was serious, so we totally _weren't _laughing.

"**What's down there?" I asked quietly, this was _important. _It was like it was the last piece to what I was missing, after that I'd just have to connect them.**

"Or you could, I don't know… not?" I sighed, sensing a headache coming on.

"**Percy…" she started, I gave a Look. "Kronos" she whispered, "I think that's the pit that Kronos was thrown into." Oh… I know why I felt pity. The chameleon arch made things a little fuzzy but I remembered. **

"Oh dear," Demeter sighed, "Please let this you know, not be traumatising."

"See this book is just wrong, I'm agreeing with _her_" Hades said shuddering, both he a Demeter looked equally disgusted at that.

**Kronos was the Time Lord who found out how the Time War was ending and got so afraid that he cannibalised himself and hid himself on a primitive planet weaving himself into there history. So we'd never find him. Unbidden the translation for a single word rose in my mind. Titian roughly translated to Lord God in Gallifreyan, the language of the Time Lords. Oh.**

"Fuck me" I swore, looking around the room blankly, "What, this means that were not Gods, we're fucking _aliens._" I explained this to them in absolute surprise. This was not cool.

"So we're going to ignore this little fact and continue to be Gods to the rest of the world, aren't we?" Athena said, working out a logical response to what decisions we would likely agree on.

"Yes," I said finally, after thinking it through. "We'll just ignore it for now"

**There was more to it, but I didn't try to remember, I knew the difference between difficultly remembering and an emotional block. Whatever I was forgetting I didn't want to remember.**

"Then please do" Hades said under his breath, "I don't want to die." I suppressed a grin.

"**We need to go" I said in a tone of voice that cut off any of the lingering questions either of them had, because this had just gotten so much bigger than I had anticipated. **

"I don't want to know, can we just skip this bit" Poseidon said, they laughed. Assuming he was joking, he wasn't joking.

"Sorry, no can do" Hermes chirped.

**If this is what I thought it was there would be danger, conflict, murder and megalomaniac plots. There'd be dancing with destruction and flirting with death. There'd be war, an outrageous amount of Talking and Running as we try to stop the world from lighting on fire… and I couldn't help but smile.**

"No, of course not, because that would be normal" Apollo sang. He was right; I hope he went all out, because it would be a good read. It was the future so we could always change it.

**A small part of my brain cheered. Welcome back, time to lock and load ba-by. Bigger than that, it was time to put on a show… without being noticed at all. If I was lucky, dear Goddess let me be lucky.**

The room filed with tense laughter. Not the edgy, forced kind but the honest laughter shadowed by the… almost bleakness of the situation. For some reason we all found this hysterical. I have the suspicion that if we weren't laughing…. Then we wouldn't know what to do at all.

"My turn" Aphrodite called taking the book. Oh joy, I thought still strangely amused. Next chapter.

**Di immortals, sorry it took me so long to get this out. I had a massive writers block. Anyway, what do you think? Good, bad, oh-my-fucking-Gods-what-the-fuck-was-that? thanks for reading. **


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I own zilch, now lets all read about Hades getting shot… oops, sorry spoilers. **

Hades P.O.V

I was so very fucked, that it wasn't funny. I don't exactly know how I knew this but I did. I sighed. Note to self, never ever take Percy's Mom. He'd walking into hell, figure out that Father may or may not rise and cause war, was reminded of a previous War, capital W, that he'd fought in and was happy about it. I was so fucked.

**I had been playing down exactly pissed I was about my Mom. Really I had, I have a temper and I know _exactly _how scary it is when I lose it and I had been a hairbreadth away for way to long. I knew that it would scare Annabeth though and it had scared Grover so I reined it in. Last time I lost my temper around him he sat on the floor with his back against the wall shaking for half an hour. He asked me never to do that around him again.**

"The satyr's a wuss, right?" I asked slightly desperately.

"I'm sure that you'll be fine," Poseidon said smiling. Hestia cackled, not laughed, not chuckled full on evil cackling.

"You. Are. Screwed." She said enunciating clearly.

"**Percy, what happened back there… do I really want to know?" Grover asked, biting his lip. I shook my head and he studied my face. "You can't kill the Lord of the Dead Percy, not in his own home."**

"Well at least he tried to save your pathetic ass" Demeter said condescendingly, "Shame." Stupid bitch.

"Demeter, enough" Aphrodite said, "Gods, somebody might start to think that you like him." we both blanched, no… so very, very wrong.

"**Watch Me," I muttered. He glanced at Annabeth who was taking in every detail of her surroundings. I could practically hear he internally cataloguing ways to escape, were to run if it came to that. I felt a surge of pride that I didn't feel I had any right to.**

"That's my girl" Athena said, "He should be proud to know her"

"She is pretty remarkable," Artemis said with a possessive gleam in her eye. Sometimes I wonder if she was lying about being the Goddess of a travelling band of lesbians.

"**Please Percy, for Annabeth" he whispered, we'd reached the doors of the palace. There were guards surrounding it, I could see soldiers form different wars all through history. I reluctantly agreed not to kill him and we made our way inside.**

"Yes" I said with a smile, everybody stared at me. "What, was I to enthusiastic about not dying?"

"Yes" Apollo said, before turning serious, "I don't know about the rest of you but I feel almost… almost as if we know this. Maybe it's just a seer thing, but it's almost as if we've known these people for years"

"You right brother," Artemis said softly, "No matter how strange that is; either you being right or what you said. I can't help feeling that you are right"

**Hades was inside the throne room standing with his back to us, facing the window. Then there was suddenly an influx of mental commands, really unsubtle ones. _Come inside, relax, give in… I am your master. _I internally scoffed, swatting away the mental intrusion with ease before plastering a feral smirk on my face.**

"Mother-fucker" Ares swore, "You're in trouble," he informed me. Yes I thought to myself, yes I am. I haven't met anyone who can throw off my mind powers like that. Not even Zeus or Poseidon can do it that easily.

"**You realise that was exceedingly rude," I said. He turned in surprise, obviously not used to being thrown off so easily. He frowned at me, subsequently releasing Grover and Annabeth.**

"_You realise your being exceedingly rude? _Really" Zeus said grinning, "I always knew those manners were a fake"

"I don't believe you, you're nephews going to confuse the fuck out of me and then threaten me and your amused,"

"My nephew?" Zeus responded, "He's you're nephew to"

"Not when he wants to kill me he's not," I muttered childishly.

"**Why are you here?" he asked finally. I just stayed silent, choosing to let Annabeth answer for me. I was keeping my temper… in front of them.**

"You might want to start praying to Grandmother Rhea to save you're ass" Hermes said laughing, "Because if they leave…." He didn't finish the sentence, but he didn't need to.

"**We are here for the lightning bolt, Lord Hades," she answered respectfully. Much more respectfully than I was capable of hence why I let her answer instead.**

"Damn, she still thinks you have it" Hestia said.

"What make you so sure that he doesn't?" Demeter question, "The daughter stealer loves to tear apart families"

"Because Percy said so," she answered simply, as if that answered everything. To her I suppose that it did.

"**Except that's not right anymore, because you didn't do it" I said brusquely. His eyes widened and he stared, like someone had taken his voice Annabeth looked baffled. "Come on, think about it Annabeth, use you eyes… notice everything."**

"What the hell did he see" Athena burst out frustrated, "I don't understand, all this stupid book does is make it so I don't understand things anymore and I don't like it"

"Welcome to the rest of the world" Poseidon said smiling, "We feel like this all the time"

"Well it blows" she huffed. We all started laughing at the infinite wisdom goddess, repressed to using words like blows. "What?" she demanded, "I can say blows if I want to"

"**You really think I didn't do it?" he said hopefully laughing cruelly, "You still stole my helm, so don't think not accusing me will save you." Annabeth was muttering under her breath, trying to figure out what was going on.**

"WHAT" I yell, "Somebody stole my helm?"

"Brother, breath" Zeus called over me, "It hasn't happened yet." I didn't give a flying fuck somebody stole my helm.

"**Oh come on, keep up Annabeth. Haven't you figured it out yet?" I asked, it was obvious, wasn't it? "Watch this, Charon wants a pay rise"**

Poseidon clapped his hand over my mouth to stop me from ranting.

"That is incredibly insightful" Hera said. Athena was frowning, she still didn't understand. I bit Poseidon's hand.

"Careful brother, I bite back," he said playfully. Something I was well aware of and looking forward to.

"**Oh, come on" Hades said, "This is bullshit, I pay him plenty, do you know how much Italian suits cost? I don't have the time to deal with him, I barley have time to sleep. Plus I have to open an entire new section to extend the fields and my brothers are fighting and keep upping the mortal death rate. And on top of all this somebody STOLE MY HELM"**

"Oooh" Athena said, before blushing. She was the last person to figure it out. I love this book.

"**See" I said, "War of the Gods equal more dead people, call me crazy, but I don't think that he wants more people taking up his time" I said blandly. Shifting Ares backpack on my shoulders.**

"It keeps mentioning the backpack, do you think it means anything?" Aphrodite asked. Nobody answered, because none of us were sure.

"**That, that's how the hell did you know that?" Hades said stopping his ranting, wasn't it obvious? I mean Charon wants a pay rise the place is overfull… I thought it was obvious.**

"Neh uh just you Percy" Hestia said with a grin. I laughed, it was nice to see her happy. Not that she usually wasn't, she was just less reserved.

"**I'm not talking to you" I said pointedly, before turning to Annabeth and Grover, "This means that we've got a problem, where's the lightning bolt"**

"Dude, you've been burned" Apollo said chuckling, "He's not even speaking to you"

"If that's the only thing he does then colour me ecstatic" I said grinning, maybe I'd get out of this in one piece. I doubted it, but it would be nice.

"**You can't just not talk to me" Hades said, I felt bad for him. He'd had his property stolen shortly after the lightning bolt, but he hadn't told Olympus. That meant that he didn't think that anybody would care. Bastards.**

"Do you really think that?" Hera question, as everyone turned me in silence. Wondering what I'd say.

"Before I did" I confirmed, telling the truth, "But I'm not so sure anymore"

"Does it bother anyone else that he just called us all bastards and we don't care?" Artemis questioned randomly. We broke into laughter, disabling the tension.

"**But if it wasn't…" Grover glanced over my shoulder at Hades, "Whoever has the lighting bolt, there probably the one who stole the helm"**

"There both items short and running out of time, but as a consolation there are other books," Athena said pointing to the stack of books sitting on the dais behind us. Which was comforting, in a way.

"**It can't be anyone else though, it's just" Annabeth started, I felt a surge of frustration. Everything has to fit into a neat little box and she was ignoring anything that didn't fit. She was doing so well.**

"She was" Ares sighed. I was unimpressed, why does everyone assume that I'm the bad guy, it's getting beyond a joke.

"**Stop ignoring me" Hades yelled lacing his words with compulsion, and suddenly my mother was standing behind him. She was incorporeal and looked at me in fear, rage flooded through me. How dare he scare her? "You have the bolt, and my helm. Give them to me and I will give you you're mother" **

"And any hope of not having the shit kicked out of is gone" Hestia said with a frown. Looking at me like I had disappointed her, I hated doing that.

"Well, at least you can't fuck up worse" Aphrodite said before continuing on to read.

"**Oh" I said, everything kicking into place as he tried to force us to do as he said. Ares was possessed; the same presence in the pit was all over him. His eyes were the telltale gold colour, how did I miss this. That meant… I shifted the heavy backpack on my shoulder.**

"Ah fuck" Ares said before pausing, "Yep I think ah, fuck pretty much covers it"

"Hey, at least he's not pissed at you" I said.

"No" he said, 'I'm just being possessed by Kronos, want to swap." Well that was a rock and a hard place. This time round I'm going to make friend with my nephew and you know… not kidnap his mother.

"**Good oh, or bad oh?" Grover asked, apprehensively. Oh, the backpack… he fought it, to help us out of the Lotus casino, except I was far to out of it to realise it.**

"Well at least you fought" Hermes pointed out, taking one look at the self-disgusted look on Ares face.

"Except I think that would have made it worse" he replied, "The harder you fight the more suppressed you are." There was a look akin to fear in his eyes.

"**Bad oh," I said shaking my hand, "Ares is possessed, that's what I was missing. I know where the helm of darkness is; I saw it we all did. It's sitting on the front of his bike"**

"Well at least they know where the helm is?" Apollo said, "That's got to be good, right?"

"Yes" Hera said, "Now they've just got to get to it."

"And find my bolt" Zeus muttered loudly, clutching his bolt tighter to himself. Aw, I couldn't help but think.

"**But if that where the helm is, where's the lightning bolt?" Annabeth asked quietly. I unzipped the backpack, and there was the lightning bolt. "Oh" she said.**

"Yay, they have my bolt, now they've just got to get out of there and bring it back before the solstice." I doubted they could, but Hestia didn't.

"**Give it here" Hades demanded, I ignored him, something I was getting quiet good at. **

"We really ought to fix that this time around" I said irritated.

"I'd say no we don't usually, but you should respect you elders" Demeter sniffed.

"Well get ready to show Percy some respect then" Hestia said, "Cause he's older than all of us." She didn't elaborate.

"**Use the pearl, I'll meet you there" I said throwing her the bolt. The nodded resolutely, and disappeared. My Mom disappeared, _'And you shall fail to save what matter's most in the end' _ran through my head. I lot my chance to save her, now I just had to _convince _him to give. Her. Back.**

"Oh, Percy. What are we going to do with you?" Hestia said.

"Does anyone not like the sound of the word convince?" I questioned uneasily.

"It' italicised, you screwed," Aphrodite said in a chipper tone of voice.

"**Why didn't you leave?" he asked quietly, I gently slipped the gun out of my pocket and fired it, he wasn't expecting it. The slug went through his head and he hit the floor. He was an immortal; this was the equivalent of a bitch slap, he'd be up again in minutes. I shot twenty-six more times, hitting in the stomach. It wouldn't kill him, but it would sting like a motherfucker. Golden blood flowed onto the floor. **

I let out a small noise that was definitely _not _a whimper. Poseidon took my hand and squeezed, for my sake as much as for his.

"Ah, fuck" Zeus said, "You realise that were next right?" The entire room shivered.

"**You took my Mother," I said dangerously, when he woke, "Without talking to me, or knowing anything about me, you assumed I'd taken you're helm and _kidnapped _my Mother." I spat the word kidnapped out like poison.**

"Bad choice" I said, "Bad, bad choice. I take it back"

"Sorry, no dice Hades" Hestia said without emotion. A scary thought floated through my head, she thought that we deserved it.

"**It was the logical conclusion," he said attempting to get up, I held out my hand. He apprehensively took it and I pulled him to his feet. **

"Why would he do that?" Hermes asked, "I get why he would shoot you repeatedly but this doesn't make ant sense"

"Because he's known Lyra a long time, and Lyra is all about family… whether you like them or not" Apollo responded. From what I'd seen of my niece, this made perfect sense.

"**As were you" I responded, bored turning to look out the window. "I will get you back you're helm and you will give me back my Mom"**

"Ouch, not even enough of a threat to have to keep you're eyes on" Ares said wincing. He wasn't the only one I winced to.

"**And if I don't?" he asked, if I didn't know better I'd say he was amused. I did know better, his reflection was visible in the glass. His hands were shaking.**

"Nothing good, I'm guessing," Dionysus said smirking, "That was an insane thing to say"

"Yeah, he just repeatedly shot you, what the hell were you thinking?" Zeus said.

"That the same trick wouldn't work twice" I said thinking logically.

"**I know you're used to being screwed over, and I know if something can go wrong for you it usually does. I get that, but I don't tolerate people who threaten my family" I said flatly, "If you don't give her back, well… I know where you live" I slipped a bone arrow out of one of my pockets and pressed it against his chest. **

"Oh, fuck" Aphrodite swore dropping the book.

"What?" Hera asked hesitantly, Aphrodite looked around the room paler than most ghosts.

"He's packing dieumort's," she whispered, icy fear ran through my body in a torrent. Oh fuck, he was going to kill me. No, that not it I thought.

"**That's a Dieumort, a God killer," he whispered in an _almost_ fearful tone of voice. I smirked cruelly, after all the worrying I'd done about my Mom he deserves it.**

"I like that" Hera said smiling.

"Really because I don't appreciate having a dieumort at my chest" I rambled. Saying that somebody was going to kill you suddenly became different when they had the tools to do it properly.

"I like the it wasn't about him, it was about you attacking his Mom," she explained and as the Goddess of Marriage and Family it made sense.

"**That it is," I said slipping it into my pocket, "I'd hate to have to kill you because you stubborn Uncle Hades." With that I pocket the dieumort and stepped on the pearl. I ended up back at the beach in LA, using my waterpowers to get to the beach where Annabeth and Grover were. **

"I know that that is supposed to be bad, and it is… bad I mean," Apollo said, "But does anyone else think that it's kind of awesome?" Most people nodded guiltily, I reluctantly agreed, because it was. It was really not good for me, but awesome.

"**Were not going to get to New York in time" Annabeth said, it was getting dark. Normally she'd be right, except I knew a shortcut. If I could mange so they don't see it we'd be right. There was a rumbling sound as Ares bike pulled up. It wasn't Ares anymore; they weren't even pretending to be Ares anymore. **

"I don't think this is going to end well" Ares said shakily, "These thing tend to end in ways that would make Dionysus smile." Zeus takes a shaky breath I was sympathetic. This was one of his sons.

"**Maybe" I said with a smile, moving forward until I was centimetres away from him and out of earshot. _"Get out of him" _I ordered in Gallifreyan, "_Now._"**

"That should scare him," Hestia says quietly.

"Yes but now he knows about it" Poseidon said, "He won't underestimate him anymore." He was right, unless he could somehow make him forget.

"**_You speak, how do you know the language of the Time Lords? You know what I am, you cannot make me leave," _he hissed out in kind. I just looked at him as he tried to force himself into my head, to find out how I know. **

"He threw me off, he'll be fine" I reassured hollowly. We were all worried, I didn't understand why. It was just a book, we'd only met Percy Jackson once and the meeting was only five minutes long. Why were we so attached?

"**_But I can, you are nothing. Not anymore" _I said, letting him in, I could shut him out the moment he seriously tried to get in. Ares however was much better than people give him credit for pushed him out. Pushed out of Ares mind and shut out of mine, he had nowhere to go but out.**

"Fuck I'm stupid" Ares growled, "Fuck, fuck, fuck"

"I thought pushing him out would be a good thing?" Hermes asked. Ares just shook his head and motioned for us to keep reading.

"**Percy" Annabeth and Grover called as a shadow pushed out above Ares and I. Giving off an icy cold and _wrong_. It grew until it surrounded us, seemingly everywhere.**

"It really is him" Zeus said tiredly, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"I fear that it is" I sighed. There were a few minutes silence, were we just sat there. Contemplating what this meant this for us.

"**You will die hero, this world will burn" the presence forced out of Ares mouth before going back to where ever the hell it came from. I knew that it wouldn't remember the last twenty minutes or so after being forced out like that, which was good for my secrets. **

"That is increasingly lucky" Aphrodite said conversationally, her hand were shaking. She'd obviously read ahead.

"I know it's going to be bad, but just read," Ares said. I quashed the urge to help him somehow. I got the feeling that it wouldn't be appreciated.

"**Don't get up," I told Ares as he begins to struggle up from the sand, where he was kneeling after his legs gave out. Ares was more than people give him credit for, I hoping that he was exceptionally more that what people give him credit for. Because possession like that was something I'd seen before and it only ends three ways to go after the pain hits. Either you're insane, a vegetable, or dead all three being equally as permanent. **

"Oh" Hera said shivering; it wasn't something that I was looking to hear. I couldn't imagine how she felt, or Ares.

"**Why shouldn't…" the rest of what he was asking was cut of with a scream as pain fired through his cerebral cortex. Annabeth screamed and made to move forwards before Grover grabbed her and kept her from coming any closer. **

"Good" Ares said, "This could get ugly, and I might end up lashing out and hurting her"

"You're not worried about hurting Percy?" Poseidon asked, just curious. Not angry, or anything, just slightly numb sounding. Which I knew wasn't good.

"**Shh," I said slipping his head on to my lap as he bit back screams. The fact that he could was a testament to how well he was holding up, except for the blood nose. If he were mortal he'd be dead, that would have been a sign that he was going to die. "Just hold on, you'll be just fine" I soothed, running my hands though his hair. I could feel his muscles sizing up. Fuck, his entire body was revolting.**

"I… I think we should break, at the end of this chapter" Aphrodite said faintly, there was a murmuring of agreement.

"**_Hurts, make it stop… please make it stop" _he whispered desperately in ancient Greek. Many people would think that uttering those words would be a weakness. I'd like for them to experience someone suppressing them to a point of near death, moving into there head, rewiring there brain to follow there instructions, causing it to short circuit and fry upon the foreign presences removal. **

"That's enough to drive anyone mad" Dionysus said blankly.

"Yeah, well I wasn't finished yet" Aphrodite said. I shivered violently, there was _more._

**After which you brain stimulates every nerve ending in a pain response to stop you from blacking out while it tries to rewire you brain. Leaving you insane, a vegetable or dead. No exceptions. Judging by the level of pain he was in he must have fought awful hard.**

"Told ya, fighting it weren't gonna be no good" Ares said, "Give me an army to fight any day." He was pale and shaking, but he still managed to force cheerfulness into his tone of voice to make us feel better. Percy was right, something that was quickly becoming a regular occurrence. We didn't give Ares enough credit.

"**Come on" I muttered, "Give me this one, just this once… give me this one." Fifteen minutes later he'd stopped, stopped shaking, and stopped moving, stopped making any sound at all. It was a full minute before he moved sitting up and looking at me. After swallowing a couple of times and opening and closing his mouth a few more, he spoke.**

"We damn" Apollo said shaking his head, "Got to hand it to you that is pretty damn impressive." I agreed, pretty damn impressive indeed.

"**You're not going to get to New York on time" he commented lightly, standing up. No excuses, no what happened, no useless platitudes… just on with what needed doing. It was that one action that had made sure that at this present moment I had nothing but the highest respect for Ares. Something that I was certain would change a couple times before I made up my mind.**

"Well at least something good came out of this crap" Ares muttered, "The punk actually respects me now." Definitely didn't give him enough credit, I thought.

"**You really didn't steal it" one of the three Furies that had been watching the scene. Alecto if my memory served me right, Stephy just rolled her eyes at me as if to say obviously. Moving slowly, to insure that what I was doing was obvious I picked up the helm and threw it to her. Two of them nodded respectfully before leaving, Stephy blew me a kiss.**

"That's so wrong" I moaned, "Why does you son make friends with the weirdest people"

"Hey, if I ever find out I'll let you know" Poseidon said shrugging, "At least there good friends"

"**I can get us to New York" I assured Ares. He left after that, and Annabeth, Grover and I made our way to a brick wall, "Except you have to trust me"**

"**Why" Grover asked, "What do you need us to do?" I pondered the best way to go about this; I might not be able to convince them to close their eyes if they didn't have to. Knowing where the doors are could be a problem.**

"What the fuck id he talking about?" Hermes asked, "God of Travels, as far as I know there is no magic door that can take you to New York from LA"

"Well obviously there is, because Percy said so," Hestia said. There it was again, because Percy said so. I was starting to get worried about it.

"**I know a shortcut, but I did the equivalent of swearing on the River Styx, I can't show anybody, but if you close your eyes then I can use it in emergencies, like this one" I lied. If need be I could tell them that I'd had the vow annulled.**

"I'd say he needs to stop lying, but I think everybody's head would implode if he did" Dionysus said lightly. Considering the state of us, the Gods of Olympus it was a high possibility.

"**Alright, so you want us to close our eyes now and follow you?" Annabeth said semi-sceptically. I nodded and took their hands, punching in the number and swiping the card. Sheer luck, we were less than two blocks away from the empire state building.**

"That's convenient" Artemis commented. I thought so to, but I wasn't about to begrudge him any good luck that came his way. Gods know when it'll come by again.

"**You and Grover need to go," I said turning to them, "No don't argue, someone needs to tell camp what happened and I don't want you guys in unnecessary danger"**

"Why would my daughter be in danger for us?" Athena asked rounding on Zeus. He looked down and avoided her eyes.

"Because I may, _may _end up incinerating them for saying the wrong thing" he said sheepishly.

"**Why are we going to be in danger now?" Annabeth questioned. Grover just groaned, and rubbed the bridge of his nose. No matter how the world fucked up, Grover will always be an excellent friend who knows me to well.**

"I really think we should have a break after this chapter" Zeus said suddenly.

"We already decided that five minutes ago Zeus" Hera said smiling.

"Yes well I suddenly have a bad feeling about the next chapter, especially after what happened to Hades" he responded. I couldn't help but laugh.

"**You can verbally abuse the Greek Gods, man there gonna incinerate you" he said amused. I just shot him a smirk.**

"He couldn't beat up Hades in his own home either, look how well that worked out" Poseidon scoffed, "Do you think that I'll be safe because I'm his Dad"

"I think that just screws you over more" Hera said, smiling.

"**Of course I can, if it's called for. Which is why I want you both to go back to camp," I explained. Grover tossed me the bolt, and made to leave.**

"Smart satyr, somehow I don't think that Annabeth's going to let it go that easily," Athena said with a sigh. I suppose anything that stops her daughter from being incinerated would be a good thing.

"**Why are you going to…" Annabeth started, unsure how to phrase here question. Or more likely scared that could hear her.**

"We can hear them, and I doubt we'll be impressed" Zeus sighed. No I thought, I don't think you will be. I wonder what would happen if they tried to kill him?

"**Because sometime people need to be told no" I said scooping her up in a hug. "Everything we'll be fine, I promise." She hugged back and followed Grover, who I could hear reassuring her. I turn and made my way to the empire state building.**

"We'll here goes nothing?" Poseidon groans. There were nods of agreement; I was looking forward to it. Now I was out of the line of fire.

**Standing out the front I look up, watch out Gods**

"Done" Aphrodite said throwing down the book. I was happy that we were breaking for an hour. People had split up to do there own thing; Ares claimed that there was a triple cheeseburger and tequila shot with his name on it.

Zeus and Hera had gone to talk and Poseidon had come outside with me for a smoke. Or rather to sit with me while I smoke, everyone else was eating in the kitchen. I had a bad feeling, something about all this was wrong. I just didn't know why it was.

**Nearly five thousand words in two days, how cool is that. I should have put a warning label on it though. Warning: ANGST. Reviews are welcomed and met with Lotus flower, cookies or Pizza by special request. Next chapter the Valkyries make a return. **


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, not even this sandwich… especially not this sandwich…. Jokes. I'm running out of chapters people, someone tell me they want a sequel! Anyway, verbally abused Gods await… read on.

Poseidon's P.O.V

The last chapter really gave me something to think about, enough to make me want to take my meds. I didn't like taking them though, I like to feel but today I'd made an exception. We'd underestimated people, Ares for certain. He hadn't come back sober, in fact he'd brought what was left of the bottle of tequila back just in case. I understood that, unfortunately our hour was up. If it hadn't been I would have gone to talk to Zeus after his talk with Hera, he had that look. The one that said that something had changed, but he couldn't figure out if it was good or bad yet. Hera picked up the book.

I love the New York. It's probably the only place in the world that you can walk into a building carrying a lightning bolt and smack the man behind the desk with it and not have anyone ask annoying questions. Well that was probably the mist, but it's still cool I thought to myself as I walked through Olympus.

"Remind me to give security a raise" Zeus muttered amused.

"Yeah, getting smacked around with that has got to hurt" Apollo said amused, I suppressed a snort.

**Olympus had to be one of the most beautiful places I'd seen. Well top twenty at least exotic alien planets topped it. It was weird, there was supposed to be a war of the Gods if I didn't get the bolt back in twenty minutes, why was everyone walking around happily? **

"Exotic alien planets?" Hermes asked smiling, "I'd like to see some of those"

"I have" Hestia responded, I wonder if I'd ever be in a good enough relationship with my son to ask about that. Probably not, he hates me. Or rather doesn't care one way or the other about me. At the moment I think that's worse.

**The God were in council, or rather we standing around arguing, does that count? Do you now how when demi-gods visit the Gods are all giant looking? Intimidation tactic, they just as big as ordinary people. Dramatic bastards.**

There was a pause of silence where everybody stared at Zeus as if to say I told you so.

"Okay, fine…. I may be a little dramatic," he said… well, dramatically.

"**Hello" I yelled into the din. They didn't hear me, I yelled again before restoring to a tried and true New York tactic. The cab whistle. They froze and looked at me.**

"Anybody else feeling embarrassed" Artemis asked, "Us not noticing like that, even though he was yelling at us"

"We need to cut that crap out, especially since the kids got Dieumort's" Ares said slowly in an effort not to slur.

"**You realise I've been standing here yelling at you for five minutes right?" I asked. They all froze, and some of the ones with less arrogance actually blushed. **

"There are some of us without arrogance?" Hestia asked in staged wonder.

"No" Hera said, "It definitely said _less _arrogance"

**This of course all lasted a second before somebody decided to open their mouth. Let me tell you something, when beings that haven't had anyone but himself or herself have the balls to interrupt them they have a tendency to do one thing…. Monologue. **

"Why are you all looking at me" Zeus burst out before pointing at Hades and saying childishly, "Hades does it to"

"Oh, get a grip brother" Hades said over the laughter that filled the room.

**Which was fine until Zeus decide to finish his one-man show by talking about my right to live. Right about there was when I started tuning in again. **

"Wait so he was ignoring me" Zeus said pouting.

"He tends to do that, hear one overdramatic megalomaniac speech heard them all he told me" Hestia said, "Just be glad he's leaving you alone"

"Au contraire, he _was _leaving you alone" Aphrodite said impishly.

"**As to you whether or not you should be allowed to continue living…" he stated, addressing the rest of the Gods more than me. This is when I internally said fuck this nooseage and threw caution to the wind.**

"Oh dear" Demeter said, conjuring a bowel of cereal.

"What are you doing?" Hades asked scathingly.

"Going to my happy place" she responded digging in to the disgustingly healthy cereal.

"**You really are incredibly stupid" I state blandly, they looked at me as if the marble columns had begun to talk. I open a portal to Val Hall, the manor that housed the New Orleans coven of Valkyries and threw the bolt through. Ironically enough they were having a party, they had pretty reckless playing. 'You make me wanna die' in fact, Nix I thought to myself. **

"Ah… does anybody see this ending in any other way than not good?" I asked desperately.

"No, were fucked. Well verbally, he doesn't shoot the fuck out of us like Hades" Apollo said.

"Well that's comforting" Demeter said cheerfully refilling her cereal bowel.

**Every Valkyrie present froze for a second; there heads whipping around fixed on the lighting bolt… and then they pounced, fighting viciously to get to it. When they figured out what it did… well factor in the arrogance of Gods and give them something scary enough that would make them show fear. **

"I get the feeling that were going to need him to get that back" Zeus said.

"I'd imagine that that was the plan" Hestia said looking at him, "Should have just let him walk out of there."

"We can do that this time" I said happily, and you know not fuck up so badly I thought to myself.

"**I don't appreciate you talking about my life like that, especially after I just brought you're bolt back" I said, "So new rules, you want you bolt back, you swear by that pretty little river running through the underworld that you wont kill me or order me to be killed"**

"I'm assuming that there's a reason behind that, and that he isn't bluffing" I said.

"If he's bluffing and it works I'm not gambling with him anymore" Dionysus said grumpily, "Which sucks, because nobody a camp will play anything good with me, it's almost like they were ordered not to." Zeus shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"**I could just go get myself" Zeus thundered, "Why should I get you to do it?" I looked though the portal and raised an eyebrow.**

"He isn't even a little scared of us, is he?" Athena asked.

"He wasn't afraid of me so why would he be afraid of you?" Hades answered.

"But we all their now, before it was just you. He has no fear," she said sighing. I shook my head, if it doesn't fit into her view of reality then its wrong.

"**Because they eat electricity, not to mention that my Valkyrie friends are exceedingly vicious," I said wincing as Nix joined the fray. "No to mention they're packing dieumort's."**

**There was deafening silence as they Gods looked at me in horror. **

"You know what, I think you should just make the oath" I said seriously. He nodded.

"**Your bluffing" one of them said. I was guessing by her resemblance to Annabeth that she was Athena. I smirked.**

"If he was he wasn't going to tell you honey" Aphrodite said to Athena.

"I know that now," she snapped back, "But I didn't know then, I didn't have all the variables." I wish she could just accept that she didn't have to know everything. She didn't have to be right about everything.

"**I swear by the river Styx that I'm really not" I said, there was a round of suppressed shuddering. They looked through the portal again. **

"Ah, crap" I said, not paying any attention to the round of swearing and exclamations that rang round the room. He didn't have to beat anybody up here. He had leverage, leverage that kept him safe from my family's anger. So I was glad for it.

"**What are they?" Ares asked, looking at them, "Where did they come form?"**

"That is a very good question" Artemis asked quietly.

"I wonder if any are hot?" Aphrodite asked suddenly, "Does the book have pictures?"

"What" Came Ares choked reply.

"What? You're aloud to like girls and boys, but I can't?" she demanded huffily. He didn't answer, good choice. I don't think that there was a right answer to that.

"**There Valkyrie. The official story was that when a maiden warrior screams for courage as she dies in battle, Woden and Freya heed her call. The two gods give up lightning to strike her, rescuing her to their hall, and preserving her courage forever in the form of the maidens immortal Valkyrie daughter" I explained with a shrug.**

"That's cool" Apollo said chuckling, "But I got a feeling that the official story is so much more interesting"

"Somebody asked" Hera said, "So if you shut up and let me read then I could tell you"

"**What's the unofficial story?" somebody asks. I'm a time traveller and I made a friend three thousand years ago who went into battle pregnant and nearly died. To bad I couldn't let her die, she was so brave… a voice in the back of my head scoffed miserably. _There always brave, _it said, _they're always brave._**

"They are always brave" Artemis said sadly, "So, so brave"

"Are you alright little sis?" Apollo asked. She nodded; it was a testament about how badly she was lying because she didn't yell at him for calling her that.

"Lyra" I decided after a moment, and it was true. I couldn't have done it without her. I needed a second pair of hands to stop her bleeding out. Coralline was lovely and her daughter the original Valkyrie and my goddaughter was still around.

"Of course my daughter was involved" Hera sighed, faintly amused.

"Why does he remember his goddaughter and not his daughter?" I asked. They shrugged, nobody had an answer for that one.

**Her name was Phoenix, now she's called Nix, the Ever Knowing, Premonitionally-abled Soothsayer without equal, Proto-Valkyrie.**

"Oh come on" Athena said, "If this were a normal book I'd stop reading it for such an obvious cliché. Of course the oldest and probably most powerful Valkyrie that been hinted throughout the book is his goddaughter"

"Athena, chill out. Percy can't help how fucked his life is" Hestia snapped, causing her to shut right up. Hestia doesn't snap and when she does… well run.

"**Whose Lyra?" the woman sitting next to Zeus asked, I didn't know how to answer that at the present moment. It was vaguely annoying, I trusted her with everything but she was… well a bit like the universe. Complicated and ridiculous, still love her though, she's family.**

"If that's you Hera then the irony would be unbearable" Hades said chuckling. She glared at him and read on.

"**Half the time I don't even know, so lets go with complicated," I said talking fast, "Anyway, that's not important right now. What's important right now is getting you're bolt back"**

"Yes, that's the important bit" Zeus said, "Now hurry up and agree to the terms future me, so that he can go get our bolt back…. That sounded really weird"

"Time travel, you can't keep it straight in you head. Something can be four million years in the future, last Tuesday" Hestia said ginning.

"**What so I swear to not kill you and you go get my bolt back again?" Zeus said with contempt, "What makes you think that they'll give it to you?" **

"That's a good question, why will they give it to him?" Ares asked.

"Because Percy asked them to" Hestia said.

"You're starting to say things like that frequently" Hades said, "It's… worrying"

"Not really its true" she explained, "Look you remember those three years I disappeared? Well I was travelling with Percy, only it wasn't three years, more like… ah, three hundred and sixty-nine. Trust me, it's true"

"**Because they are my friends," I said, "And don't carry on, I'm only making you swear not to kill me _this time._"**

"Why would he do that?" I started before Hera read over me to save time seeing as I was quoting.

"**Why would you do that?" my Father asked, "Why would you do that when you could make him swear to never kill you." There were so many thing that I could say to that… I didn't even know where to start.**

"He's absolutely mad" Dionysus said cheerfully before seeing my glare, "But all the best people are these days"

"**Careful, I might begin to think you care… but to answer you're question, it wouldn't be any fun" I said smiling.**

"Fun, way to go kid I like the way you think" Ares said saluting him with his tequila bottle.

"Um Ares, you're saluting a book" Athena said, looking at the increasingly drunk Ares wearily.

"Obviously, wouldn't you be after last chapter if you were me?" he asked. I had to give him points on not slurring.

"**You think allowing a God have another shot to kill you when you could avoid it is fun?" Athena asked. I just looked at her.**

"In confusion with her strange logic, just like the rest of us" I said even though I privately agreed with her.

"**Those are my friends" I said pointing the Valkyries, "What do you think?"**

"I'm going to go with yes," Hermes said laughing, "I can't wait for all this to happen, it's going to be a blast with foreknowledge."

"**Very well, I swear by the river Styx that I wont kill you _this time_ if you bring me back my bolt" Zeus said. I turned and walked through the portal. The thing about portals is that time runs faster on one side of it than the other if you want it to.**

"Where do you think he got it from?" Aphrodite asked.

"Lyra, it's completely impossible and slightly ridiculous to speculate about" Hera said, "My daughters definitely involved"

**So the girls had had the lighting bolt for hours and had passed out on the floor from energy high. A victorious Nix hugging the lightning bolt to her chest, I smiled. Kneeling down next to her I pet her hair.**

"So that's his psychic Goddaughter… is anyone surprised that she won?" Hades asked.

"Better question, do you think that she'll give back my bolt" Zeus asked.

"**I'm going to need that back," I said plucking it from her fingers. She pouted and sat up to lay her head on my shoulder. **

"Aw" the Goddesses cooed as one. I freely admit that it sounded adorable, I wish there was a way I could see him with my granddaughter.

"**Do you have to take it?" she said huffing, "I know, I know, this was you master plan to stop you're uncle from incarcerating you… which he wasn't going to anyway"**

"Well you shouldn't have told him that he was going to then" Apollo said grinning, "But then you wouldn't get the bolt to play with would you, hmm?"

"Um, Apollo she can't hear you" Artemis said.

"Oh, Artie, from one premonitionally-abled person to another, yes. Yes she can hear me" he responded dodging the arrow she sent at him for calling her Artie.

"**You said he was," I said smiling.**

"She lied, I like her" Hermes said. If every other God gave into there slightly less dignified impulses then we could have face-palmed in synchronisation.

"**I lied" she trilled, "And I know, people who lie are bad… oh, don't worry I didn't mean you."**

There was a moment of laughter as the whole room tried and failed to contain it. Busted I thought to myself.

"Shut up you," I said tickling her giving her a kiss on the cheek before standing and walking back through the portal. Casually I walked back through the portal, ignoring the fact that it closed behind me and tossed the lightning bolt a Zeus's feet.

"Don't treat my bolt like that," Zeus cried, scooping up his bolt. I was temporarily reminded of Lord of the Rings.

"If you start stroking that thing and saying precious I swear I will lose my shit," I said, causing a round of laughter and for him to pout delectably.

"You're Mother was returned" Hades said as I moved to leave. I turned and smiled at him, for some odd reason an old conversation with Lyra floated through my head.

"Smart choice" Demeter said as if in surprise.

"He basically told me that if I didn't he knew where I lived and he was going to come and kill me in my sleep if I didn't. I know you think I'm stupid, but fuck!" he exclaimed.

"Thanks Uncle Hades" I said turning and leaving, seemingly ignorant of the shocked and appalled looks behind me. There was a distinct sound of arguing behind me as I stepped into the elevator. Did you know that apparently surviving a confrontation with the God warrants bowing from the others that live on Olympus?

"No, it had nothing to do with you stopping world war three" Athena said, her voice dripping in sarcasm, "Idiot"

Or it could have been the fact that I stopped world war three, either or. As soon as I was out of the building I lit a cigarette out of the packet that I had been keeping just in case. Damn it I had been doing so well. Sighing I take a deep drag and hold it in my lungs before exhaling.

"That's not good" I huffed moodily.

"We've all got vices," Ares said taking another swallow of his drink; I was surprised Hera hadn't gone off tap yet. Perhaps it was because of what he was trying to forget.

"You shouldn't be doing that," my Dad said from behind me. I turned to face him, looking at him distinctly unimpressed.

"I'm glad we had that talk, I told you it was obvious," Hera said to Zeus. He cringed.

"Really?" he questioned surprised, "He's smart and your smart so maybe you two just picked up on it. Hades in a minute… get ready to duck"

"Why?" he asked, Hera just read.

"You shouldn't be fucking your brothers, but that not stopping you" I said taking in his panicked expression, "Hey, if it makes you three happy more power to you, it's none of my business"

There was a moment off absolute silence before everyone started yelling at once. Opinions flew across the room in the form of _how could you _and _wait a go boy's. _Congratulations and disapproval being shouted louder, screaming to get their opinions heard. Each person sure that there's was right one or at least more important than everybody else's. Hera was the only one slightly silent.

"Enough," Zeus roared sending lighting through the air, "Percy was right, none of this is an of you're damn business." Aphrodite still shot us two thumb up and a saucy smile.

"Then why bring it up?" he asked quietly, "In fact, how did you even know?"

"That's a good question" Aphrodite said, "I didn't"

"Oh please it was obvious" Hera said smiling, which lead me to the slightly scary thought that she was happy that Hades and I were fucking her husband. I hope she doesn't have voyeuristic tendencies.

"Your deodorant" I said, he frowned. "Uncle Zeus is wearing it too and it belong Uncle Hades. You have light red marks on you neck could be sunburn but it's not, it's beginning to bruises. Uncle Zeus was standing a lot and uncomfortable sitting down and Uncle Hades sleeve rode up and there were nail marks there that were only half an hour old tops, plus smug looks and the way you're eyes flick to each other when you think nobody else is looking. So pre-war fuck, easy, congratulations."

"Well when you put it like that… maybe it is obvious" Aphrodite said, joining the rest of us gapping at the book while Hestia laughed at us. Of course she found it hysterical.

"That's… that's amazing," he said standing there with wide eyes, "Where did you learn to do that?"

"Good question, I'd have to meet them," Athena said.

"Gay" Apollo burst out, "Plus you kill them because he'd have less respect than any mortal you've ever met"

"How do you know that" she shrieked.

"Because I keep an eye on all my children's futures, and one day he'll marry one of my sons. Lyra's going to be there adoptive daughter…. Something they'll find out year after it's happened" he said with a grin.

"It's strange, of course my daughter involved" Hera murmured.

"I have a friend called Sherlock Holmes, he's a consulting detective" I explaining with a shrug and took another drag of my cigarette. "Anyway that's not what people normally say"

"I can only imagine what people normally say," Hermes said giggling. Water started to drip on his head, causing him to look up at the large amount of water I'd suspended above his head. "Ah fu-" he started before it fell on him.

"Shut up, will you?" I complained.

"What do people normally say?" he asked smiling as if I hadn't just pointing out how all signs that he was having an affair with his brothers were obvious.

"See, told you" Hera slipped in before continuing.

"Piss off" I said, "But that's not why you're here. What do you want?" He bit his lip, oh. He was so focused on getting here to talk to me that he didn't think that far ahead.

"He never thinks ahead," Athena said spitefully.

"Athena, this is the part of the book that tell me whether or not my son hated me or not. So I'd appreciate it if you'd shut the fuck up please" I snapped at her.

"I just wanted to say that I was proud of you, the way you handled things with Zeus… that was good" he said after a minute, "But… I do wish that you were never born." I turned and walked away, about five steps away I stopped.

"You told him that you wished that he was never born, are you stupid" Hera yelled at me, "He better punch you in the face for that." Nobody else said anything, even though they obviously wanted to. No one wants to have an angry Queen of the Gods set on them.

"Aren't you coming?" I asked he looked at me baffled.

"Wait what?" Hades said pouting, "I'm feeling so ripped off." I wanted to kiss it off him…. Which is when it occurred to me that I could. Smiling impishly I pressed a second long kiss to his lips.

Shut up, would you," I said chuckling at him expression with Zeus.

"Look I get it, this whole demi-god thing is not a world of good and you wish I didn't have to live in it but I'm don't. This is my life, and I'll live it as I see fit. No matter the circumstances" I said strongly, "I don't do thing by halves."

"That really kind of obvious" Ares said chuckling. There was a round of laughter. Yes that really was obvious.

"I've noticed" he said amused, "You know if I didn't know better I'd say you were a parent, because only a parent would pick up on what I meant like that." I wasn't a parent, was I? No, I couldn't be… not even the Chameleon arch could make me forget that.

"Wrong, I wonder what happened?" Artemis asked.

"I didn't meet her, but from what I heard from Percy she was his baby girl and the most important girl in all of time and space… to him. I don't think that anything good happen to her for him to forget about her."

"So is that all… you just wanted to talk to me, or is there cryptic advice as well?" I said jokingly, "Because in the books they always have advice"

"That's just what we need… Poseidon to start giving advice" Athena said. She was ignored, the look on her face made me suppress giggles… cough, cough I mean manly chuckles.

"You going to have a choice to make soon, a choice that nobody can make for you and when you make it choose wisely because it can't be undone" he said in an overdramatic voice before laughing, "There is that good enough?"

"Well at least it's relevant advice," I said laughing.

"Brother, sometime I worry about you" Zeus said shaking his head in amusement.

"Yeah, except you really mean that" I said stopping in front of my Moms building and staring up. His gaze follows mine and he gets this said little half smile on his face.

"You miss her" Aphrodite said with a half smile.

"Nah, not like that… she became my best friend after Percy was born. It was nice to have somebody to talk to and have coffee with once a week," I explained smiling. Hades and Zeus let out a breath of relief…. I'd have to talk to them later.

"Yep" he answered, popping the p in a way reminiscent to the tenth Doctor. "Are we okay now?" he asked suddenly, "It's just… well, thing seem alright and I just wanted to know if we okay?"

"You'll be fine" Zeus reassured me, taking my hand and squeezing.

"Yeah" I breathed, I hoped so. I could handle him not caring… I just didn't want him to hate me.

"Yeah, were okay" I said after a pause, "Just remember that at the moment you're a stranger to me… and I don't need another parent anymore, but were okay." He smiled happily.

"Thank Gods" I said letting out s laugh.

"You're welcome" Apollo and Hermes said together.

"Good night Peruses" he told me turning away.

"It's Percy. Good night Dad" I called after him, in a split second decision. He stopped for a second before disappearing. Well I thought to myself… that's one less head fuck I have to deal with…. Next.

"Next chapter" Hera said passing the book to me. My hands were shaking lightly; I can't believe how well this went. It was just the happy epilogue left, it was right, right?

Done, why can't I write a chapter smaller than eleven pages on word? Well I suppose it's good for you. Two more chapters left…. I think? Do you guy want a sequel? Thanks for reading, review.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Guess what? Last chapter people, at this stage I have checked my reviews and have decided stuff it I'm writing a sequel. Yay, for… well, can't say now, spoilers. Enjoy. PS if the writing doesn't bold properly this time I don't know how to fix it, sorry!

Zeus's P.O.V

He returned my bolt, the took it away, forced me to agree not to kill him and then gave it back again…. It's not fair. I was happy for Poseidon though; he and his son were on good terms. I was also happy that he wasn't in love with Percy's Mom, I have to share him with his wife, of more honestly Hades and I… _borrow _him and now everybody knew. Truth be told I was just happy that my wife was okay with it. In fact we'd come up with and arrangement. I could sleep with other men and she could sleep with other women, but not the other way around.

Apollo started reading the last chapter of the book.

Well I thought to myself that was something. I walked into Mums apartment and was frustrated as all hell. Gabe had fucking trashed it, in the way that homeless people wouldn't live here. That's pretty fucking bad.

"Homeless people sleep in bins" Aphrodite said crinkling her nose, "That's it I'm sending this douche bag to Circe's island."

"**Percy" Mom cried, practically choking me with a hug. "Thank God you okay." She spent about five minutes gushing and checking me for injuries before I noticed a tiny figure standing in the doorway.**

"Who do you think that is?" Poseidon asked. I had no idea, but I hoped that it wasn't trouble.

"It's strange, so lets go with Lyra" Apollo said shrugging. I hoped that it was she's my niece/stepdaughter I wanted to know more about her.

"**Hello Lyra" I said opening my arms to her. She grinned and threw her six-year-old body at me. I should explain that while Lyra doesn't do things in chronological order and sometimes her time stream runs faster than ours, making her live her life quicker. Like she could have lived three years and everyone around her would have to, but we'd only live one, but at the moment she was six, actually six in the right place in time.**

"Well that's just… impossible how the fuck does that even work?" Athena said, swearing much to my surprise. She never swears.

"You… don't have to know everything, ya know" Ares said finally giving in to the slurs, "Sometime you just go with it"

"**Percy, you back." She said happily, "Your Mom says that you have to go away again and that I might not be able to see you for a while?" I picked her up, much to her displeasure, think miniature adult with a child's outlook on life.**

"I don't want her to be a mini adult, I want her to have enjoyed her childhood as a child" Hera growled frustrated.

"She's always welcome here," I tell Hera, "When ever you want her to be." She gave me a joyful smile, and I was happy that I had done something nice for her for once.

"**Nah, I do have to go back to camp, but you can come" I told her, "Cause guess what, it's full of our family"**

"Anyone get the feeling that she's family orientated?" Hermes asked teasingly. Hades face fell.

"We may be in trouble then" he said. We frowned in confusion, "Percy was the first family member she had, and if we try to kill him or hurt him again she'll be pissed. The younger her may not hurt us but the older version would I think." I agree with him that could go pear-shaped.

"**Really" she said smiling, "If I go with you I don't have to stay if I don't want to?" for her it was a legitimate concern, she never could… sorry, will never be able to stay in one place long. Sometime I hate time travel; it's murder on tenses. **

"That's for damn sure" Hestia said laughing, "You don't know how many times they made me want to pull my hair out"

"I hope she stays," Dionysus said quietly, obviously not meaning for any one to hear. "She might gamble and pour drinks," he added when people looked at him funnily.

"**If you can get out of there and don't want to stay anymore then you can leave" I said, telling her the only thing I could guarantee.**

"Anyone want to place a bet?" Hermes said with a grin. I shook my head at my son. None of us are stupid enough to take that bet.

"**Okay" she said, "Are you going to stay with you Mom for a little first?" she asked. I nodded and followed Mom into the kitchen. **

"That pig better not be there" Aphrodite said with a growl and a look that was shared by Artemis. Sometimes I wonder about her.

"**Hey Gabe, Percy's not a fugitive after all isn't that wonderful?" Mom said. Gabe looked up at me and started to argue about me staying. In the end saying get out or he's calling the cops, which was fine until Mom flinched when he stepped to close.**

"That son of a whoreson sluttish fuck bag cunt" Artemis yelled outraged, "I'm going to turn him into fucking road kill." Apollo's mouth dropped open comically, but I suppose I hadn't heard her use langue like that since Rome and I don't think anybody else has ever.

"Only if I don't get their first" snarled Poseidon, "The little bitch laid his hands on my best friend." I lent over and kissed him.

"You were flooding Japan again, don't worry Percy will get him" I assured him. He pouted adorably.

"**He's been hitting you," I said dropping Lyra onto the bed and packing some of my stuff into a bag. She made some feeble protest, about how she's going to make him leave and how it wasn't really that bad before I cut her off. "Do you want him gone?"**

"Yes" everybody cried. Please let him do something horrible to him, I thought viscously.

"**What?" she asked startled.**

"No, no, no honey" Aphrodite said cruelly, "Not what, it's yes Percy I'd love for you to make him gone." You know she's more evil than we give he credit for.

"**Exactly what he said" Lyra said sitting on the bed looking furiously, "Do you want him gone Aunt Sally?"**

"You know if her temper is anything like her Mother's they'll be lucky to find his bloody carcass," I said smirking.

"You say that as if it's a bad thing" Hera purred, Poseidon just shook his head as if to say no. No it's not, not this time.

"**If you do I can take care of it, you just have to go out for half an hour and when you get back he'll be gone. Never to hurt another person again," I said making it clear about what intended to do to the bastard.**

"Yes kill the abusive whore," Ares said, more than a little tanked, but then I guess that I would be to if I were him.

"No I said son of a whoreson sluttish fuck bag cunt, not abusive whore. Nobody would pay for him." Artemis said with malice. You know what, sometimes my family scares me.

"Yeah" Ares slurred the empty tequila bottle hitting the floor, "What she said."

"**You can kill him" she said, "I don't want you to be like that." If she really felt like that then I would respect her wishes, but only because the Gods had sent back the box with Medusa's head in it and I told her so.**

"First useful thing Medusa's done in a long time" Athena said with a smirk. If Percy didn't do anything and the odds of that were unlikely then the bastard would have to deal with us, I thought vindictively.

"**He'll just be a statue, not dead" I told her. Well I think, but I wasn't going to tell her about that.**

"No he'll be dead" Hades said in that sexy yet slightly creepy way of his, "Very, very dead."

"Excellent" Poseidon said, "I'll buy a whip and come visit."

"You can borrow mine" Aphrodite said before smirking, "Just curious is it going to be used on Gabe or Hades?" I burst out laughing at the looks on the faces, it was like she flashed them her boobs. They glared at me before grinning in synchronisation and pointing to me.

"Hey!" I said.

"**No, I can't expect you to do everything for me. I have to be able to save my self, I wont be the damsel in distress waiting my entire life for someone to come and save me every time things get rough" she said with conviction. I was so proud of her.**

"Hey Poseidon, do you still have her number?" Aphrodite asked.

"Yeah, why?" he answered apprehensively.

"I want to ask her out," she said, "She sound nice, rebellious and hot… all in all my kind of girl."

"Well she broke up with me, so you may have a shot," he said scribbling out the number. I smiled, now I really, really liked Sally Jackson.

"**Alright keep the box though, if you need it," I said giving her a hug and passing it to her.**

"I wonder why he gave in so easily?" Hermes asked. Apollo grinned.

"I know it's a shame you called dibbs" he said to Aphrodite.

"**Sally, come make meatloaf… now" Gabe yelled. My Mom smiled and started to open the box. **

"Nice to know saving herself didn't take to long" I said smiling, I hoped thing worked put between her and Aphrodite.

"**Sure Gabe, I'll make meatloaf, meatloaf surprise," she said with a cheeky grin. We followed her heading towards the front door. Stopping for a moment to watch her dump the head in front off him and flick the eyes up. Instant statue.**

"Wait ago Sally" Poseidon yelled over our cheers. Maybe somebody should go get her head now it could be awesome, just open the eyes and bitch-be-gone.

"**You're Mom is the coolest" Lyra said following me into the cab and laying down on my lap.**

"You got that damn right," Artemis said grinning happily.

"**I know," I said watching her fight with her eyelids before falling asleep. I'd asked her when was the last time she slept… or ate, there both valid questions when it come to her but she was already out.**

"Damn it daughter" Hera cursed, "I'm happy that he's looking out for her"

"I know, I am too," I said, people looked at me in surprised. "What? I can get attached to"

**It was about seven o'clock in the morning when we got to camp the next morning. Lyra was still asleep which meant that we'd have to have a talk when she woke up because she never sleeps more than a few hours at a time unless she hasn't slept in a generally ridiculous amount of time. **

"I wonder if they mean a normal persons definition of a ridiculous amount of time or ours?" Hermes asked cheekily.

"My daughters involved," Hera said sighing, "I'm going to go with ours"

**They were having a funeral for me. What the fuck, a funeral with out a body… and people were crying, this is so messed up.**

"Well he did tell Grover and Annabeth that there was a high chance of incineration" I said shaking my head, "I think they took it literally."

"That or we pranked them," Apollo said shrugging.

"**Um, I'm not dead morons" I yelled out causing everybody's head to whip up and look dead at me. I couldn't help it, I laughed. Thanking the Gods that I was holding a small child at the time so Clarisse didn't deck me like she looked like she was going to at first chance.**

"That's my girl" Ares said resting his head back against his throne and grinning while the rest of us laughed.

"**Whose the kid?" Mr D. asked as soon as I stopped reaching out to take her, only to end up with a knife at his throat asked she jerked awake.**

"Note to self, don't touch her while she's sleeping, as it results in pain and death" Dionysus said chuckling. I couldn't contain them either, but I suppose that was because it was over, only the happy end left now.

"**New camper" I said putting her down as she apologised and introduced herself. Well at least everybody in camp knew not to touch her while she's sleeping. Then a bright light flashed over her head the symbol of a peacock. **

"I'm probably not going to be happy about that" I sighed.

"You are now though," Hera pointed out.

"Yeah, I am now, but she told me exactly how she was born and you didn't sleep with her Dad. My… other self doesn't know that" I explained.

"**Ah fuck, I get the feeling that this isn't good" Lyra sighed, pouting adorably as the entire camp kneeled in front of her.**

"You notice how anybody that stays around Percy or reads about him end up saying that a lot?" Hades said, we looked at him blankly. "No, okay just me then"

"**All hail Lyra Black, daughter of Hera, Goddess of Marriage and Family. All hail" Chiron called.**

Well that's going to cause a serious stir, what with her never having a demi-god child before. Now all I had to do is decide if I'm more afraid for Lyra or camp. I thought for a moment… camp, I decided. Defiantly camp.

"**That ones your room" I said pointing to cabin two, "Mine is right next door. I'' see you later I haven't slept since before the quest, I'll see you later." I dodged the obligatory gunshot and went into my cabin.**

"They'd fit in her so well, what with the dodging deadly implements out of habit" Hera said slyly, "We could keep them"

"Yeah," Poseidon said playing along, for the betterment of camp." Oh dear, those to are stubborn, I really should just agree.

"**Told them you weren't dead" Luke said sitting up from his position makeshift double bed. "You spent all the time you were supposed to be sleeping Iris-messaging me didn't you? You look exhausted"**

"Well that explains a lot" Aphrodite said, "They hit off in the beginning but isn't mentioned again."

"I just think it's funny that he's commandeered a bed in you cabin" Hermes told Poseidon laughing, "You sons bed actually."

"Turnabouts fair play," Poseidon said shrugging, something that made me chuckle.

"**In a single word…. Yes" I said pulling on some pyjamas and crawling into bed with him. He shuffled over and wrapped his arm round my waist.**

"Aw, that's sweet" Athena said, shocking everybody with her sappy side.

"I hate to agree with you and admit I have a romantic side but yes, that's really cute" Artemis said with a grin. Apollo just smiled sadly, it was ten thousand years until her vow against men ran out maybe I could annul it. Do something that makes my twins happy.

"**Missed you" he said grinning against my hair.**

There was a chorus of awing. I did not; I repeat not join in. Maybe.

"**We'll spend a week in her then we've got a kitchen and a bathroom, we'll just stay in here and no let anybody in except Lyra," I said yawning.**

"That is a brilliant idea" Aphrodite said cheerfully, "They can have _fun_"

"My son is twelve and that is gross Aphrodite," Poseidon said groaning.

"Sorry I was thinking of the one we met, which you got to admit wa hot" she said flippantly. There was a murmur of agreements at that.

"**Kay, who's Lyra?" he asked. I flipped around so I was facing him. **

"Complicated" I said with a grin looking a Hera, she slapped me on the playfully.

"**A daughter of Hera that been family since before I knew what a demi-god was" I answered. His eyes slid open and a faint gold flicker swirled around his irises, I shivered. Oh, it's not fair… but as always, that's just the way that it is.**

"No" Hermes yelled, "Come on, he's just over tired. It's a mistake yeah." He rambled desperately his fingernails scratching against his throne. "Please" he muttered, "Just please"

"I'm sorry" a little girl said taking his hand she looked twelve and familiar. Then she slipped onto the arm of his chair and hugged him to her and started to pet his hair.

"Hello Lyra" he said dully, all form of hope gone from his voice. It made me shiver.

"Don't sound so hopeless, it's not over yet" she said, I was happy we had her. She looked after us when nobody else knew what to say.

**Luke and I did barricade ourselves in for the week. Much to Mr D's displeasure, nobody but Lyra to make him drinks. Speaking of Lyra she didn't decide to stay, but I found out hasn't had a guardian or proper home for three years and what ever happened at the original one was bad enough for her subconscious to force her to forget.**

"What happened?" Hades asked her.

"I can die," she said after a moment, "I only figured it out or rather remembered it last week when I had a been bit by a basilisk, I died and then I woke up; and waking up is worse than dying. After that I remembered, they'd tried to kill me and I kept waking up. Stabbed, shot, poisoned, thrown off a building and I just kept waking up. In the end they threw me into a six feet hole and buried me."

"But you still alive so it didn't kill you either, what did you do?" Hera asked horrified.

"No I spent a month digging my way out of that hole in between dying. I went to London and met Percy, he was nine and he… he knew all about me, said that he was family and showed me a few tricks. We looked out for each other ever since."

"And your guardians?" I asked angrily.

"I made the mistake of telling Percy, there not alive anymore in fact I'd go as far as to say that there very much happier dead" she said, and then Hermes was comforting her as much as she were him, much to her amusement.

**She acquired a proper guardian, tricking Sherlock into signing adoption papers making her Lyra Jasmine Holmes Black before set of to France for three weeks. As much fun as we were having the second to last day of camp came rolling around and it was time to pick whether or not we were staying and the golden glow… it was getting worse.**

"Why Sherlock?" Poseidon asked.

"Because at the time he's good company, for me anyway and taught me things. Random brilliant thing and he doesn't ask inconvenient questions whether I've walked into the flat with bullet wounds or have left a note on the fridge saying _gone to France, see you in three weeks_"

"And when you conned my son into signing the adoption papers" Apollo asked, her eyes widened.

"Da- John's a demi-god?" she said before shrugging as if she should have known. "It was my little way of telling Uncle Mycroft that we were keeping him"

"It turns out great" Apollo reassured her. She smiled; this was way to weird I thought to myself.

"**We should go out to the forest, just for fun" Luke said smiling, "We could take some coke with us."**

"I get the feeling that this isn't going to end well" I sighed.

"No, It could be fine. This is Percy were talking about" Hestia said with a small smile.

"**Alright" I said cheerfully. We talked and mucked about till we were a short way into the forest. I had a bad feeling that everything was about to come crashing down, I hated it when that happened.**

"I love the way that sound, a Charlie foxtrot of epic proportions is about to happen… I hate it when that happens" Lyra said chuckling.

"Charlie foxtrot?" Hades asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Cluster fuck" she explained, causing us to laugh despite the incoming… unpleasantness.

"**I'm sorry, for what's about to happen if I could take it back I would" Luke said stopping abruptly near a stream.**

"Oh Gods here we go" Hermes murmured shifting even further into Lyra's grasp in an effort to brace himself for what was about to come.

"**You're going to try to kill me" I said blandly, "But you stopped by a stream so you don't want it to work. You know I think I hate grandfather"**

"Well at least there's that" Poseidon sighed, I grabbed hi hand a squeezed. He smiled wearily back.

"**Pit scorpion" he said throwing it at the ground, it crawled onto my shoe. "I didn't want this, but I was just so angry. The Hermes cabin is full of unclaimed campers, the Gods treat us like crap and then expect us to clean up after them… if you didn't come I would have changed my mind about how to go about it though"**

"I hate it when there right" I said tiredly, shifting in my chair.

"Then fix it" Lyra said in a dead clam voice, "You lot made this problem and you will fix it, I will not have my family destroy itself like this." we all hastily agreed.

"**Kronos got to you while your angry and now his in your head making you do things you don't want to" I realised, everything slotting into place. I attempted to get my sword out without moving as much as possible.**

"If he kills the scorpion, what then? What happens to Luke?" Hermes asked sounding like he was about to cry.

"It's Percy, I don't think he'll kill him" Hestia comforted.

"**I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt you… I don't want to hurt anyone" he said, a single tear making it's way down his face.**

"The poor kid" Apollo said suddenly, "He can't even get out of it by dying because if he does it'll happen to somebody else and he wont let that happen." Hermes shoulders shook, I think he was crying I motioned for them to keep reading.

"**It's fine, most of my friends have tried to kill me at some point" I said truthfully. "Tell you what if I live meet me at the highway at six tomorrow night, we'll run"**

"That is so like Percy" Hestia said laughing.

"You can't run from something like this" Aphrodite said. Lyra just smiled.

"Sure you can, you can run from anything if you try hard enough" she said, "You just can't run forever"

"**You can't stop what happing to me," he said bitterly.**

"No, but he can delay it" Apollo murmured. I wanted them to run, a revelation that startled me. I wanted them to go on adventures and find every happiness that they could, because what was coming for them couldn't be stopped.

"**No, but the best part about facing horrible and inevitable things is running from them first. I'll tell camp that I'm going home and Mom that I'm staying at camp, we could go anywhere" I told him, "What do you think?" **

"I think he should go" Hermes murmured.

"Take it for somebody who's taken up that offer, it worth it" Hestia said, "It dangerous and fun; and absolutely ridiculous with no guarantee of safety all the time… but in the end you wouldn't have missed it for the world."

"I doubt all of time and space is being offered this time but this planet is spectacular if you know where to look" Ares said, still drunk.

"**I'll be there, I swear by the river Styx that I'll be there" he said hopefully, "Please don't die, don't let him make me your murderer"**

"How would you live with yourself, if he did die" Poseidon said quietly, "If you were force to kill somebody that you really wanted to keep alive." Nobody said anything, because what really could you say to that?

"**I wont and I swear by the Styx not to tell anyone that you'll be there," I swore and with that I lifted riptide up and swung. The scorpion landed on the sand in to pieces… oh, I looked down at my hand. I'd been stung. **

"He doesn't die" Athena said practically, "There are still more books, so he can't die now." Never had her logic been welcomed as much as it had in that second. Why was it that we were all so attached?

**When I woke up I told them what happen as fast as I possibly could. I only had an hour to leave; I IM'd my Mom and lied to her. I felt bad but I'd made a promise and I kept my promises. He was waiting for me, sitting in an old black ford. **

"He's really going to do it" Dionysus said with a smile, "Good"

"Where do you think they'll go?" Hermes asked, his head comfortably lying of Lyra's lap as the twelve year old held on to his hand.

"**So where are we going?" he asked. I smiled and remembered the text Chelsea sent me. _Percy, I need help. Stole something I shouldn't and somebody's going to kill me. Sorry it called out to me. Meet me in Rio, Chelsea. X._**

"Oh dear, I need to go soon" Lyra said.

"Why?" Hermes asked unhappy to see her go, we were always unhappy to see her go.

"Because I'll be in Rio, and I haven't done it yet, spoilers" she explained, "Plus I promise Hermione I'd go to the end of year feast. Trust me pissing of a half Valkyrie, half Fury witch… not good." I didn't even want to know how all those thing came together in one person.

"Tell me how exactly opposed to grand theft auto?" I asked.

"I doubt it'll bother him" Demeter said shaking his head, "Especially with his Father." The last part was said scornfully but Hermes smiled with pride anyway.

"**Son of Hermes, Percy" he said laughing, "Son of Hermes"**

"That really does explain it all" I said.

"Don't even think about it you wont get the blame and Dad is gonna kill me" Apollo said suddenly. There was much giggling at his expense while I fought the impulse to groan. My children do so love to cause trouble.

"**One of you sisters is in trouble, were going to Rio" I said getting in the car and throwing my stuff in the back. Luke was possessed by Kronos and was probably going to be forced to start a war against the Gods, maybe I could save him, and maybe I couldn't. Right now though, we were going to run.**

"Is that the end?" Poseidon asked carefully, "No horrible cliff-hanger or something?"

"Nope, just one more sentence left Uncle P" Apollo said.

**Because everybody deserves to have someone run with them.**

"The end" Apollo chirped shutting the book, "Next one I guess"

There was a bit of talking and Lyra said goodbye after finally admitting that she'd snuck out of her magical boarding school. Hermes was feeling better, having the idea that his son, while his future looked bleak was off to steal stuff in Rio. Eventually Athena picked up the book and sat down.

"I'm not sure if this ones going to be any better for our nerves" she sighed.

"Why?" I asked.

"The book title" she said sighing. I looked at the front cover and read aloud;

"**And Basically… Run"**

**I'm having an interlude story, in between this and my version of Sea of Monsters called 'And Basically… Run' in which Luke and Percy travel until next summer. Review me guys, this is the last chance for this story… I've never finished a story before. Yay me! Thanks for sticking with me this long. **


	15. Alert

**Apparently, some people weren't aware that I had started posting the squeal. So I thought that I'd give you a heads up. There are three chapters up already and I'm half way through four. Which is the last chapter. **


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